Chapter Two:
Comparing Notes

Carly hiked across the golf course at an impressive clip, carrying her shoes in one hand and the champagne bottle in the other. She wanted to get far enough away that she couldn't hear the reception anymore. No more music, no more fractured conversations, no more lights. . . Just some kind of quiet solitude where she could immerse herself in self-pity and tell herself the all of lies that had kept her going in the past year.

Solitude. Now that part she'd blown already. She hadn't actually expected Nikolas to take her UP on the offer. At the same time, it was nice to see someone who wasn't feeling all gushy and idealistic over this particular binding of souls. She still wasn't sure what it was about him that had made her extend the invitation in the first place. Mostly, it had probably been a desire for an audience. Some sort of witness to what she was going through tonight. It made it all feel more real, not to be pushed off to the side. After all. . . Tonight had been one of the biggest nights of her life, in a way that no one was recognizing, and she had a suspicion Nikolas understood that.

Now, however, she was unsure of what to make of him. For starters, he wasn't keeping up with her. In fact, she wasn't entirely sure he was still in sight. She had stubbornly refused to turn around and check for him. A part of her really didn't want to find out she'd been ditched by someone whose company she wasn't even certain she wanted in the first place.

She came to a stop, finally, at the edge of a water hazard located at the base of a hill. It was nice, as contrived golf course traps went. Enclosed by the landscape, with a row of trees at the edge of the course not too far away. A weeping willow bent over the far side of the water, the longer branches tickling across the top of the water. She stared at the tree a long moment -- it's bent shape, the heavy way it sat, as if being pulled down into the earth rather than thrusting up out of it. A metaphor for her life, lately. God, Caroline, she thought to herself. She was even trying to find empathy with plant life.

Carly shook the thought out of her head, and returned to the task at hand. She hiked up her dress slightly, and waded into the pond, sinking slightly into the clay bottom. The water was satisfactorily cold, and she leaned over, securing the bottle at the edge of the pond, digging it into the clay, where she could be sure it would stay chilled. She then stepped out of the water and flopped down on her back in the grass, letting her eyes fall shut a moment.

She heard Nikolas's soft approach over the grass before he spoke.

"You're going to ruin your dress," he observed.

Carly looked up to see him standing over her. The moon was high in the sky, back lit him, making it impossible to distinguish his features. She averted her eyes back to the sky and sighed dramatically.

"Try to imagine how little I care."

Nikolas studied Carly's face with impersonal curiosity. He couldn't help but wonder what he was doing here. He'd left for two reasons, the first and most obvious being that he'd had his fill of the wedding reception. The second was less tangible. It had been a look on her face, just momentarily. One of hurt and loneliness. One that hit a little closer to home than he wanted to admit, even to himself. Now, however, with her eyes fixed with frightening intensity on some far off point and that edge of sarcasm back in her voice, he was beginning to question his actions.

He turned away from her and took a few steps to the edge of the pool. The water was murky and dark, but the moon reflected off on it, providing it with some beauty. This whole day would have been an easier experience if everything hadn't been so perfect. The weather was clear and sunny for the wedding, and it had been followed by a perfect evening, complete with a nearly-full moon smiling down on them. He hadn't spotted one bad omen.

The quiet was getting to Carly. Being alone was one thing, but being alone with a mute made her nervous. She turned her head to see Nikolas standing only a few feet away, his back to her.

"So..." she started, without having any idea what she was going to say. Her only aim was to break the silence. "What did you come out here for, anyway?"

Nikolas glanced back at her.

"I didn't give it much thought. You?"

Carly smirked to herself. "I don't give anything much thought," she told him, sitting up. "Didn't Robin tell you that?" Nikolas looked at her blankly. "Oh, come on..." Carly's voice was soft and coxing, yet Nikolas still found it slightly threatening. "I know she must have talked to you about me. Told you what a horrible and thoughtless person I am."

Nikolas turned away from her. "I thought you wanted to get AWAY from Robin."

"Just trying to get the lay of the land," she shrugged, feigning indifference. "I try to figure out which horrible stories people have heard so that I don't disappoint them."

Nikolas didn't give Carly the satisfaction of a response to that particularly self-depreciating remark. He didn't feel much like playing that game. In fact, he didn't feel like playing ANY games... which reminded him of the supposed purpose of coming out here in the first place. He turns back to Carly just in time to see her roll onto her stomach at the water's edge and reach in to pull out the champagne bottle.

"Drink?" she inquired, the word coming out like a backhanded apology. Nikolas gave a moment's pause, then held out the champagne flute he still had in his hand. Carly, after giving him a look of disapproval, struggled up onto her knees and filled the glass.

"God, you even get wasted like an aristocrat" she sighed. Nikolas chose to ignore her and turned away, walking carefully around the perimeter of the pond. Carly took a long swig of the bottle, then settled back into the grass. She stared at the light on the top of the pool, the same spot possessing Nikolas's gaze, and smiled slightly.

"Come on, Nikolas..." she teased. She stopped short, then looked up at him. "Can I call you Nikolas? Or do I have to curtsy or something first?"

"You're a little behind the times," Nikolas muttered, obviously not caring for the topic. Carly rolled her eyes without embarrassment.

"No, I know all about the paternity shell game you guys were playing a while back. But you're the son of the actual heir, right? Doesn't that still make you an heir?"

Nikolas responded as if giving an answer in a high school history class. "If my father dies without delivering a legitimate heir, then yes, it all falls to me. Until that time, I'm just another Cassadine."

Carly thought on that a moment. Names were something she'd been paying a lot of attention to, since she'd discovered just how little weight her's carried. "Hey, at least that's something" she murmured.

"It is that," Nikolas said quietly. He downed half of the glass in his hand, not wanting to think on it too long. "I'm just not sure what."

"Yeah... I can see how that would be rough, you know... You're still rich, you're still in this totally powerful position, but --"

"What would you know about it?" Nikolas said sharply. Carly blinked at him.

"What part? Being rich and powerful or being not sure what you are anymore?"

Nikolas stared at her, unable to read the expression on her face. This was a mistake. A big one. He downed the rest of the glass, and tossed the glass into the water with a cavalier manner he didn't feel.

"Whichever," he said, his voice icy, "you feel your have more experience with."

"Well, let's see..." Carly sighed heavily and took another long pull from the bottle. "I just meant that -- HELLO! You're not the only person who's been totally jerked around by their family." Carly paused, scratching at the label on the bottle with her thumb nail. "I mean, I thought my mother... Well. I thought I was being raised by my biological mother until I was thirteen. Life's full of surprises."

Nikolas raised his eyebrows at her. "And I suppose upon discovering that your mother had lied to you your whole life you calmly resumed your life where it left off?"

"Noooo..." Carly smiled ruefully. "I burned all her pictures of me and when I had a chance I tracked down my real mother and stole her husband." She batted her eyelashes at him. "You must have heard about THAT. Come on. I'm labouring under the impression that everyone in this town is talking about me all the time. Don't burst my bubble."

After a moment, Nikolas cracked a smile, finding that inexplicably amusing. "Yeah, I guess that would be when they aren't talking about MY family."

Carly eyed Nikolas, carefully appraising the change in mood. Maybe there was hope for this guy. She took yet another long swig from the bottle, then held it out to him. "Come on. Live dangerously. Or did that gesture with the glass mean you're done for tonight?"

Nikolas glanced at the bottle, and considered his options. The glass was meant to be an exit line, but somehow it hadn't worked out that way. There was something refreshing about this woman's bluntness. He wasn't accustomed to that kind of honesty, and prickly as it was. He started back over to her, deciding he'd had enough of this conversation, but not necessarily the company.

"The night's young, isn't that the saying?"

Carly laughed. "Great. From Cary Grant to James Dean in under three seconds," She handed him the bottle. "I take it you don't drink much."

"Socially," Nikolas said, examining the bottle. It was heavy, still half full, easily. That, of course, meant that they'd already made an impressive dent on the contents. Or she had. His tolerance was considerably lower. He tipped it back cautiously, but still nearly choked when the liquid rushed into his mouth, the bubbles going up his nose. He put the bottle down quickly, coughing. Carly didn't try to hide her amusement at this.

"Wow," she laughed, "THAT was impressive." Nikolas could only shake his head in response, still coughing. The shape and style of Champagne flutes now made sense to him. This was not a beverage to be messed with. Carly, however, seemed to have honed the skill, and took another long drink, before looking back at him. "You wanna try again?"

Nikolas wiped tears from his eyes with the back of his hand and spoke hoarsely. "Give me a minute."

Carly struggled, but didn't succeed, in her attempt not to laugh at him again. He was so... inexperienced. Figures. She had a theory that Robin attracted guys without much experience. Those who hadn't had the idealism knocked out of them yet, and actually bought the whole "sage nymph" act. She pulled herself up on her knees, turning to him.

"It's not that hard," she said simply. "You just have to actually seal your lips around..." She raised the bottle to her mouth, then paused, a devilish look creeping onto her face. Hey, she might as well have some fun here... "Well... Watch."

Nikolas looked up at her, and Carly meet his gaze a moment, then slowly lowered her mouth over the bottleneck. She sucked on it gently, then straightened up and smiled at him. "See?"

Nikolas just stared at her.

Feeling the familiar rush that came with knowing she was getting to someone, Carly cocked her head to one side, the picture of innocence. "Just keep the seal, you'll be fine." She repeated the action, maintaining eye contact this time as she took the bottle into her mouth, then threw her head back dramatically, arching her back while she took a long drink. She straightened up slowly, and lowered her head again to see Nikolas still watching her, his lips slightly parted. She licked her lips with satisfaction.

"See?"

Nikolas swallowed.

"Uh... yeah. I think I get it."

The stars had finally appeared, though the luminous moon made it hard for Carly to make them out. She tried anyway, not wanting to move from the soft bed of grass she was lying on. She didn't feel like she was on earth anymore, instead overtaken by the light floating sensation that always came with too much wine. She should really experiment with this beverage more often. This wasn't an unpleasant feeling. In fact, it was as close to peace as she'd felt in a long time.

Carly cast her eyes in Nikolas's direction. They had stopped talking, both opting to run over private thoughts in the quiet of the night. It was a comfortable silence, however. He looked considerably more relaxed than he had on the terrace, having slipped out of his jacket and undone the tie on his tuxedo. The guy wore formal wear well, she had to admit that. In fact, she thought, with a body like that, there wasn't much he couldn't carry off. She suppressed a smile and turned to studying the sky again. What are you doing? She asked herself. Yeah, this is a good idea. Another guy who's hung up on Robin Scorpio. On the other hand, it wasn't like she had any plans to actually get attached. . .

"Do you think anyone has missed us?" Carly asked suddenly, surprised to hear the sound of her own voice. Nikolas, lying propped up on one elbow a slight distance away, looked up from his study of a blade of grass and contemplated the question a long moment.

"Anyone, or anyone specific?"

Carly shrugged. "Anyone."

Nikolas sighed heavily. Gee... who was going to notice his absence? Lucky might, but that was only because he'd be thankful for it... aside from that, people were probably too busy.

"I doubt it. Not me, at least."

Carly snorted. "Oh, come on. Are you sure Robin hasn't panicked at having lost your admiring gaze?"

Nikolas frowned at her. Usually that comment would have annoyed him, but he was having trouble accessing that emotion right now. Carly had been right about champagne. It was very useful at taking the edge off of things.

"Exactly how did you wind up being a bridesmaid anyway, if you have such contempt for the bride?" Nikolas's voice was light, almost disinterested.

"Well, you know Robin," Carly said, her voice dripping with acrimony, "She doesn't hold a grudge."

"That doesn't answer my question," Nikolas pressed, reaching for the bottle again. He examined the contents. There was only an inch or so left in the bottom at this point.

"What, about being a bridesmaid?" Carly asked. "I told you, she asked me."

"That's not what I meant," Nikolas took a swig from the bottle. He'd become much more successful at it after Carly's little lesson. She glanced over at him, her eyes examining his neck. She was fixating on it for some reason. That and his skin tone. God, he was an incredible looking man. Nikolas lowered the bottle and looked back at her. "Why did you accept?"

"Huh?" Carly blinked, then remembered the topic at hand. She sighed, and turned back to her examination of the sky. "Why did you agree to come? It's probably the same reason."

"Robin is a friend of mine."

"That song's getting old."

Nikolas stared at the glassy surface of the water. "Yeah," he murmured quietly. "It is."

Carly pulled herself out of her own contemplations. "So... You were, like... In love with her, right?" She cringed slightly as she said the words. Still... for some reason other people's pain was a really tempting place to curl up right now. Nikolas looked up at her, studying her face for signs of antagonism. She wasn't at all like the woman he'd come out here with. Having surrendered first to the alcohol, and then to the silence, the person he was speaking to now was softer, more vulnerable. Her mask was slipping, and Nikolas was surprised at how much he liked what he was seeing.

"Does it matter?" he asked softly. Carly chuckled, low in her throat, still not looking back at him.

"Maybe you could explain it to me, this whole 'Robin Scorpio' fascination."

Nikolas laughed slightly, with her. "Is that what we're going to do? You tell me why she couldn't leave him and I'll tell you why he couldn't leave her?"

Carly shakes her head. "I'm not here to do anything but FORGET about them.

Nikolas forced himself to sit up, as much as he didn't feel like moving, and looked over at her. He was surprised they'd made it to this topic of conversation, but a part of him was glad they had. It had felt like an elephant in the corner when they'd first gotten here. And as much as the champagne was clouding his mind, there was still an ache that he couldn't rid himself of. He slid across the grass towards her, and looked down at her face.

"Is it working?" He asked sincerely.

Carly opened her eyes and was startled to see how close to her Nikolas was now. She sat up suddenly, pushing him back from her.

"I don't know. How much champagne do we have left?"

Nikolas looked around, knowing the bottle was there someplace. "Uh... not a lot."

Carly sighed, and tried to figure out whether or not she was drunk enough. Not by half. Things were softer, lighter, but her brain was still working and that wasn't where she wanted to be.

"Damn," she murmured softly. She looked over at Nikolas. "Hey, how are you doing, anyway?"

Nikolas pondered the question a moment. "Better," he answered finally. It was the only word he could come up with. Carly smiled at him sadly.

"Yeah... don't worry, it's temporary." She tucked her knees up under her chin and looked out into the darkness at the edge of the course. "You know..." she said finally, her voice distant. "I think I only REALLY believed I could hold on to him the second time. You know, when they'd already done the first break-up/make-up, and it still hadn't worked? After that it got a little harder to kid myself."

Nikolas nodded in agreement. That was the break-up during which he and Robin had actually dated. It had lasted all of six months, but right up until they'd suddenly reunited, it had looked pretty final. Jason had taken up with Carly, and Robin and he, while not "serious", were still moving towards something... or so he'd thought. He shook his head hard, trying to knock those memories out of it. Carly glanced over at him.

"You never did tell me... What is it that got you so damn hooked? What does she have that is so irresistible?"

Nikolas frowned at her, not wanting to think of the way her smile made him feel, or of how gentle the rest of her hand on his wrist was. He shrugged, lightly. "What's so hard to understand? She's a good person. She's... "

Carly cut in, her voice harsh. "Oh, yeah, I know. She's a verrrry good person. She always does the right thing. Hell!" She finally met his gaze. "She pretty much DECIDES what the right thing is for the rest of us. She sure did for me."

Nikolas, not up to this sudden change of gears, closed his eyes, remembering... How had he managed to forget about that? The real reason Carly Roberts and Robin Scorpio sharing air was so unthinkable. He looked back at her.

"Do you... Do you blame Robin for... Well, for --"

"For what?" Carly's eyes flashed "Go ahead, say it. I know what everyone thinks. I was an unfit mother, clearly unstable. THAT'S why I lost custody of my son, right?" Carly's hands were shaking as she reached out to grip the bottle again. She raised it to her lips, then brought it down again, looking at him with fiery anger. "You know... I could have been Mother Teresa, but I didn't have the money to fight the Quartermaines. That is why I lost custody. And do you want to know why I didn't have the money?" She looked at him, challenging him to answer. Nikolas turned away. "Because Robin convinced Jason that he should stay out of it, that's why! That it was between me and the Quartermaines!" Carly felt the old fury, the rush of emotions she spent nearly ever day of her life trying to forget, grab hold of her. "So you'll have to excuse me if I don't think Robin Scorpio is so wonderful, " she spit. She met his eyes, fully aware that she was shaking with fury. Nikolas, however, didn't look shocked or defensive. Instead he stared at her with an unnerving intensity.

"You really love him, don't you?"

"I'm NOT going to talk to you about my son!" Carly's voice was harsh and angry. At the same time there was an unmistakable edge of pain to it. She dropped her head, her blonde hair falling between them like a curtain, hiding her face as she felt a lump work it's way painfully up from her chest into her throat. Nikolas stared at her, the blood in his veins racing for reasons he didn't have the time to try to understand. He leaned over to her.

"Carly," he said, gently. Carly brought her hands up to cover her face, demanding of herself to breath. Be normal, try to get a grip. It had been a year and a half since she'd lost Michael. Her life had moved on, that was what she continually tried to tell herself. She was still his mom, she still saw him in four hour weekly visits... She only knew one way to keep getting up in the morning and that was to never think about how she'd lost him, how angry she was, how robbed she felt. That way madness lay. And she was having a hard enough time maintaining her sanity lately as it was. A history of mental illness, faked or not, was something she was still struggling with in her dealings with the social workers who came to evaluate at what point she might be permitted to take Michael for a weekend visit. Every day of her life was, though in ways she couldn't always recognize, devoted to her quest to one day have some sort of normal relationship with her son. She never spoke about him in any REAL way with anyone. It was always pretence, a long ongoing act where she tried to pretend that it didn't rip her heart out. No. Acting like it upset her somehow indicated that she was unstable, and therefore a bad mother. It was twisted, but she kept it to herself. And now she had just spilled out all this emotional garbage on Nikolas Cassadine. She took in a deep breath, and looked up at him, forcing a smile.

"Sorry," she said, pushing out a long breath. "I guess I get a little emotional when I drink..."

It was a weak excuse, and Nikolas, for all the naivete she was attributing to him, wasn't buying it. He was looking at her with an expression she couldn't read. After a long silence, he spoke, his voice soft.

"It's alright." He said, simply. Carly frowned at him. Nikolas looked away from her. "In a way..." he stopped the sentence, falling into a silence so long Carly was surprised when he finally continued the thought. "I respect that... If it hurts you that much not to have your son... I can understand why you'd be angry."

Carly stared at him. That she hadn't expected. After all, one of the things that she knew about the Cassadines was that they held grudges close, but didn't have a whole lot of patience for other people's turmoil.

"I..." she stopped, unable to find the rest of the thought. Nikolas's eyes were still fixed on her's, boring into them. She felt herself flash hot, then cold. What was happening here? She turned away, focusing on the bottle in her hand. She'd nearly forgotten all about it. "There's not much left, we should finish this up." She looked back at Nikolas, aware that her voice was suddenly trembling. Get a grip, she told herself firmly. She extended her arm, offering him the bottle. "I think we should call it a night."

Nikolas felt a sudden wave of disappointment. He hadn't expected this, any of it. But the way she'd talked about Michael had hit him hard. He and Robin had talked about the Michael situation. It had never been a topic he liked, constantly trying to change the conversation. It was too close to home. Robin had told him her every thought was entirely selfish, that Michael was best off without her. The courts had made the right decision. On some level he'd drawn a parallel between her story and his mother. That was the only reason he could find for why he felt like he was going to choke. It was becoming clear there was more to all the stories he'd heard, and now she was taking off on him. Nonetheless, he took the bottle out of her hand, and made a gesture of concession to her.

"I guess this is a final toast," he said, giving her a smile. Carly cocked her head to one side.

"Yeah, I guess."

"To your health," Nikolas said simply, and took a final swig from the bottle. He handed it back to Carly. She cradled it in her lap a moment, trying to figure out what she was feeling. It was like every hair on the back of her neck was standing on end. She looked back up at Nikolas. He looked, in the moonlight, like GQ's answer to Prince Charming. And he was looking at her with an expression that seemed to communicate genuine fondness. She realized she really didn't want him to leave. She didn't want to be alone again, she didn't want to go back to the party, she didn't want to go home... and she didnt' want to stay here. She looked down at the final swallow of champagne in the bottle, and found herself formulating at plan of attack.

"My health... Mental or physical?" she mused, mostly to herself. Nikolas shrugged.

"Your choice," he said, with forced levity. What exactly was he planning on doing now? As bad as being at the reception had been before, going back was unthinkable. He cleared his throat and stood up, facing her, waiting for her to deliver the final line of the evening. He didn't want the honor himself.

Carly took a deep breath. Rejection was not something she felt up to tonight, but if she just let him walk off she'd be stuck with the knowledge of having done absolutely nothing, and right now, that didn't feel like an option. She pulled himself up onto her feet, and faced him, only a few inches from him.

Carly smiled at him, steeling herself, then downed the rest of the bottle. Holding the last mouthful of the champagne in her mouth, she dropped the bottle and looked back at him. Nikolas immediately realized something was happening here. Carly reached up and slide her hand around his neck. She gazed up at him a long moment, lightly threading her fingers through the short hair at the back of his head. Nikolas felt his mouth go dry. Carly raised her mouth to his, and Nikolas brought his lips down on hers without hesitation. Carly kissed him gently, parting his lips, then transferred the liquid from her mouth into his. Nikolas made a sound of surprise, but let the drink spill down his throat without breaking the kiss, then pulled her towards him, acting on pure instinct. Carly deepened the kiss, intent of kissing the breath from him. Finally, she pulled back and regarded the dazed look on Nikolas's face. She'd gotten to him. She could tell. It was all in the way he was looking at her. She took his hand in her's, and raised it to her lips, kissing the tips of his fingers seductively, then smiled at him.

"I think we should find some other place to go."