Chapter Seventy-Seven:
Damage Control
Carly was practicing deep breathing. Inhaling and exhaling as her mother gently rubbed her shoulders. Her head was buzzing. This conversation had barely resembled anything she'd expected in coming here and now she was feeling tired and weakened while she desperately tried to remember what straws she hadn't grasped at yet. When her mother spoke, it sounded like it was coming at her through water.
"It doesn't have to be, you know."
Carly lifted her head, and turned her head towards the voice, blearily. "What?"
"Complicated. It can be pretty simple if you let it."
"Yeah. Like I can simply let everyone run right over me, right?"
"Honey," Bobbie world-wearied. "What do you think telling him the truth is going to cost you?"
Carly laughed hollowly. "Leverage. I think."
"Against Stefan? Oh, please tell me you're kidding."
Carly's head was starting to pound. There was no point, she realized. No freakin' point to any of this. "Bobbie! Come on! I need some help, here!"
Bobbie raised her brow. "Does that mean you're willing to listen to me?"
Carly shot her mother a look. "It's within the realm of possibility."
"I'll take that," her mother murmured, reaching out and taking her hand in hers. She squeezed it before speaking again. "I think you have to ask yourself a question. If telling the truth costs you leverage... What do you think keeping it to yourself is going to do?"
"Your aunt was there, you know," Lucas threw out as he hopped up the step from the road. "But she left when I got there."
"I heard."
"That's ok?"
Nikolas glanced at the boy, and caught a quick flash of concern in the eyes hiding under the mop of hair.
"That's fine." In theory.
"Well, I got there as fast as I could. You didn't give me a whole lot of warning."
Nikolas stopped, one foot on the bottom step. "Lucas." He waited until the boy turned around before saying "I wasn't being critical."
Lucas went through several facial expressions -- traveling from shocked to uncomfortable and landing on supposed indifferent. "Whatever," he shrugged, spinning around to head back up the stairs. "I don't care. Forget it."
"Hey," Nikolas reached out and snatched the collar of his brother-in-law's shirt. "Talk to me a second."
Lucas squirmed out of his grip. "Why?"
"Because. You look worried."
"No way!"
"Ok. Then because I'm worried, how does that work?"
Lucas eyed Nikolas with a confused suspicion he was beginning to get used to. Then he crossed his arms. The message was pretty clear -- Don't try anything with me. "Worried about what?"
Nikolas exhaled. This wasn't going to bear fruit. "You came through today. I didn't want Carly stuck out there on her own today. Thanks for that."
"She's my sister."
"I know."
"So I'm gonna do what she needs me to do, you know?"
Nikolas nodded. "Yeah. You've made that pretty clear."
"So what's the problem?"
Nikolas shook his head. He wasn't entirely sure what the answer to that question was.
"I guess I'm wondering how long it's going to be before you trust me."
Lucas stared at him for a long moment, then turned and started back up the stairs. "Depends on how long you last this time."
Carly stared hard at the back of her mother's hand; at the lines and veins and familiarity of it. She couldn't help but do this sometimes -- look at something of Bobbie's and compare it to herself. She wasn't sure she was ever going to have hands this steady.
"He's already figured it out."
"Does that matter?"
Carly let out a half laugh and let her head rest against the wall. "What difference does it make?"
Bobbie shook her head, sadly. "It could make all the difference in the world."
"Right. Because what he really needs now is a Technicolor, surround-sound account of exactly what Stefan said to me."
"Well. Maybe spare him the really gory details -- He does love the man."
"I know that," Carly snapped, pulling her hand back. "And it's not like I've been great for their relationship already. And --" she stopped and let out a growl of frustration. "It wasn't supposed to work out like this! He wasn't supposed to know --"
"The truth?"
Carly turned and glared at her mother. "What's the point? Really -- What the hell is the point of just throwing more gas on the fire?"
"Because it'd be honest, Carly."
The solemn look on her mother's face just made Carly want to scream. "And I wouldn't know a thing about that, would I?"
"It's not exactly your modus operandi, baby girl."
Carly snorted in disgust and struggled to get to her feet. "Hey, if it ain't broke --"
Bobbie's hand clamped down on her shoulder and with truly impressive strength, she was pulled back down to the floor.
"This is important."
"Sort of what I've been saying"
Bobbie sighed heavily. "Carly, shut up for a second and listen to me."
Carly flushed at her mother's command, but made a point of rolling her eyes. "Cause its for my own good."
Her mother shook her head. The way she was looking at her, Carly suspected it was either listen, or be force fed brussel sprouts. "Do you want to fix this or don't you?"
"I'm listening!"
"You know, everyone says this, but it's actually true --" Bobbie rested her elbow on her knee, hand sunk into her hair, while she stared down at the carpet. "You have to trust each other."
Carly just scowled at the opposite wall. "I do trust him."
Bobbie cast her eyes in her daughter's direction. "Carly. You don't trust anybody."
"Yeah, well. That just means I've been paying attention."
"Uh huh," Bobbie looked skeptical. "Look. I know things have had a tendency not to go the way you want them to -- and I know what that feels like. But after a certain point, Carly, it's just a self-fulfilling prophecy."
Carly looked at her mother in annoyance. "What about you? How does being Grand Marshal of the Stay Positive! Parade work out for you?"
Bobbie raised her brow. "I've got a career I'm proud of, a great house and two beautiful -- if not exhausting -- Children. I think I'm doing pretty well for myself here, thanks."
Carly looked away. Yeah, ok. So Bobbie wasn't exactly hurting. But it wasn't like she didn't get screwed over pretty often in her own right. By boy friends, husbands... long lost children... "So. What? Didn't you have some grand wisdom to impart?"
"Hmm. Now that you mention it..." He mother turned her body towards Carly and pushed the veil of hair that separated them back from her face. "I think you gotta accept something here, honey. That no matter how uncalled for Stefan's actions might have been -- they weren't Nikolas's fault."
"I didn't say they were," Carly spoke between gritted teeth.
"And maybe it's time to consider that, as much as your life might have..." she paused to search for a word. "...Challenged you, so far -- Your husband's hasn't been a picnic, either."
"I know."
Carly read Bobbie's silence as disagreement. Whatever. It wasn't like Nikolas hadn't told her stuff. It wasn't like she didn't know his life had sucked just as hard as hers had... She put her hand over her stomach, as it contracted again in another sharp pang of guilt. Great, Caroline. Great, she thought. Cause that makes you look better, doesn't it?
"Nikolas has been told more than his fair share of lies," Bobbie finally continued, her voice holding a definite edge. Struggling hard not to go into complete lecture mode. "And he's been caught up in more secrets than I can count. His mother has let him down, his father has let him down..." She pulled in her breath. "And... In a way, so have I."
Carly raised her head. "The Sainted Bobbie Spencer? What did you do?"
Her voice was harsh and mocking and she regretted it the second she saw the look on her mother's face. Her mother turned away, leaned her back against the wall again. Stared at the opposite wall, looking pissed off and hurt.
"Ok," Carly mumbled, moving a little bit closer. Turning herself towards Bobbie in unspoken apology. "So what happened?"
Her mother smiled slightly. Soft and regretful. "I left him."
"You left Stefan."
Bobbie shook her head. "It amounts to the same thing. I came to that island, I married... Well. I married his father. And part of the reason I did -- part of the reason we did that..." Bobbie closed her eyes. Let out a slow, careful breath. "Was to make a family," she said, finally. "For Lucas. And for Nikolas."
Carly shrugged, looking down at her mother's hands, now clasped and resting on her raised knees. "Nothing lasts forever."
"No," her mother laughed humorlessly, "But I made history. The first woman to be divorced by a Cassadine man. So up until that happened, Nikolas had reason to believe I'd be around awhile. It's probably safe to say he had the expectation that I would be around for awhile. And... When a lot of people have come and gone in your life, that's not a responsibility to take lightly. And I didn't. But I still let him down."
"But," Carly frowned, "Stefan was cheating on you."
"Stefan was doing a lot of things," she allowed. "None of them were Nikolas's fault. But he lost me -- and the way it was put to him, I'm sure he felt I betrayed him. I think it took him a long time to forgive me for it."
"I thought Stefan threw you out."
"I promised myself when I married Stefan that I wouldn't be another name on the list of people that had let him down. But I ended up on that list anyway. But Carly..." Bobbie drew herself up, turning pleading eyes on her daughter. "You don't have to."
Carly felt a violent tremor go through her as she realized where this was about to go. "Mama --"
"You can be the person who tells him the truth. Who doesn't hold back, who doesn't keep secrets. If you do that, then the rest of this goes away." she reached out and cupped her daughter's cheek, drew her closer to her. Carly's chest was tightening at a dangerous rate and she felt tears sting her eyes. "Honey," Bobbie started. "This could be the best thing that's ever happened to you -- if you let it be. You just told to me -- You don't want to lose him. Well -- don't you think it's worth the risk to tell him something he really needs to hear?" Her voice dropped to a whisper. "I guarantee, he's just as scared as you are."
"I think I'm going to throw up."
Bobbie let out a quick yelp of laughter and pulled her daughter towards her. Carly leaned into her mother, gratefully, and wrapped one arm around her, resting her head against the woman's shoulder.
"I suck at this," she muttered into her shirt.
"Well, good time to start practicing, then."
Carly barely managed to let out a groan in response when the front door slammed, jolting her. She sat up, swearing violently and wiping at her cheeks. Bobbie reached out, grabbing her wrist and frowning.
"Lucas?" she called out.
"Yeah?"
"What are you up to?"
There was a low muttering, and then the glass door to the living room slid open. "I'm..." Full stop. "Mom?"
"Down here," Bobbie turned and waved a hand, catching her son's attention from her place on the floor. Carly opted to bury her face in her hands. "Did you want something?"
"Nikolas is here."
"What?" Carly jerked her head up just in time to see Nikolas appear behind her mother. After that, she didn't do much of anything. Just stared at him. Felt an awful terror stir inside her and try to battle shock for dominance over her system. She let the air rush out of her. "Oh." Brain struggled. Sputtered. Choked. "Hi."
Nikolas seemed to be too busy taking in her wrecked appearance to really absorb what she was saying. After a too-long pause, he gave a half nod. "Hi."
"Okay!" Bobbie clapped her hands together. "Lucas -- let's make ourselves scarce, shall we?"
"Mama," Carly made an attempt to protest, but her voice failed her. Lucas was already backing out of the room.
"Scarce how?"
"I don't know," Bobbie made it to her feet. "How about some lunch?"
"It's four o'clock. I ate, like, five hours ago."
"Fine. Then we're taking a walk."
"Ok, ok..."
Their voices faded, and the door closed -- living room, then front door -- and they were left in silence. Nikolas still looking at her, Carly still waiting for her brain to offer an opening line. After a moment, he crossed to her and put out his hand. She frowned at it a moment, then realized he meant to pull her up.
Oh, come on. She was not going to cry already.
She stuffed down the emotion as best she cold manage and took hold of his hand. He pulled her to her feet and she felt like she was suddenly weightless. Rising up, and then finding herself against him, in his arms, leaning against his chest. She stared up at him, one hand still clasping his, the other holding his arm. She was looking right into his eyes, and she had no idea what he was thinking. None. She hardly ever did with him.
"Nikolas," She took a deep breath and prayed she was going to say something semi-intelligent. "We need to talk."
"Do you care to explain what you're doing?"
"It follows a certain logic."
"None that I can ascertain."
"Well," Alexis Davis pulled the door to study closed behind her. "If you want to compare plans of attack, I'm all for it."
"Your phone message was obtuse," Stefan was seated behind his desk, chair set back, eyes dark and fixed unflinchingly on his sister. "In addition -- When, in our collective history, have you found that I appreciate being dictated to?"
"If you pardon me saying so?" Alexis frowned, moving to the drink cart. "You look terrible."
"You are attempting to distract me."
"I wouldn't dare try," she sighed, as she pulled the stopper from the brandy decanter and began to pour. "But I thought it was worth stating, for the record. You look terrible. Nikolas -- incidentally -- looks terrible, too."
"Is that supposed to bring me comfort?"
"No," Alexis murmured, picking up both brandy snifters and turning towards her brother. "Does it?"
"Not even remotely."
She nodded, lips pursed together. "This is a mess."
"Which you are encouraging."
There was more than a little accusation in his voice. This was, without doubt, the hardest visit of the day. Damage control was not her favorite task -- and she'd gone easy on herself. Simplest to Most Formidable. Stefan was going to be the toughest sell. He was also the one who'd demand the most honesty.
"I can understand how it would look that way," she opted to allow him his suspicion for the moment. Though it never stopped stinging, the way he looked at her sometimes. "But you know me well enough to guess what motives are."
"The family, I presume."
She started across the room, not speaking until she had reached his desk and set the glass meant for her brother in front of him. He glared at it with equal indignation.
"You. Nikolas. I have this wild notion that there's still hope for us all yet," she slipped into the chair opposite the desk. "You know I wouldn't be advocating Carly work for Luke without there being a grander scheme."
Stefan grunted in response and picked up the snifter. Alexis watched him carefully as he brought the glass to his lips. Red-rimmed eyes, tight mouth, ever so slight tremor in his hand. Given the tension and exhaustion that had been radiating off of Nikolas when she'd seen him earlier, she didn't want to even speculate on what had happened. It was enough to just have the vague outline. They'd fought. They were both the worse for it.
"By all means," her brother gestured airily. "Share this grand scheme with me."
Alexis spoke into her glass. "It's multifaceted."
"I can hardly wait."
"And it requires a concession or two."
"On my part, I'd assume."
"On everyone's," Alexis took a quick swig of her drink. "And don't try to act like you're being wronged -- Nikolas has the monopoly on that at the moment." Stefan barely raised his brow at the comment, and Alexis let her out her breath. "I'm sorry. it's been a long day." She propped an elbow on the desk and rested her chin in her palm. "I've given this as much thought as humanly possible in this timeframe. And I promise you, this is the best solution. Well," she gave a halfhearted shrug of one shoulder. "The best, least homicidal one, at any rate."
"Ah," Stefan shifted forward in his chair. "And all this contemplation has lead you to believe that we should toss Nikolas into Spencer's midst, then? Two decades of protecting him from those people and now you're advocating he -- what? Ally himself with them?"
"Hardly," Alexis's mouth twisted. "I'm not that talented. Nikolas doesn't want anything to do with Luke. That's not going to change, no matter how angry he gets at you."
"Then pray tell. How does this serve him?"
"Temporary pain for long term gain."
The corners of her brother's mouth twitched. "I'm well aware of your fondness for plotting with Luke Spencer, Alexis. But surely you can see the folly in this venture."
From the moment she'd walked into the study and encountered her brother's particularly grim and vicious mood, Alexis had been biting down hard on an urge to point out the obvious. Feeling the sting of that verbal assault, she gave it up.
"I'm struggling not to be unkind," she muttered. "But I'm not above pointing out just how we got into this mess."
Stefan opened his mouth to respond, but Alexis put a hand up pleadingly. "You know I understand why things went the way they did! But now we have a problem -- and the reasons you acted yesterday morning are the same reasons why we have to fix this immediately." She sat back, straightening her spine. "It's a peace offering. With something of a double-edge."
Stefan looked grim. "And the possible cost of this to Nikolas?"
Alexis blanched. "I'm working on that."
Her brother shook his head in so much disgust and sat back in his chair. Swirling the brandy around in his glass, he asked, "I do not see how this can be an acceptable choice."
"I don't see how we have any other choice," she put forth again, stubbornly. "You and I both know how monumental the mistake Carly made last night was. And, when she dropped this little nugget on us, we gave it all the power we possibly could! We acknowledged it as a disaster, as an absolute cataclysm -- Hell, an embarrassment. WHAT do you think she was expecting?"
"Certainly nothing less than that. She knew what she was doing --"
"Absolutely," Alexis agreed. "But I think, by this morning, she was in over her head," She gestured with her glass towards the stacks of paper on Stefan's desk. "You've read the dossier. It's something of a theme with her." She shook her head at the unconvinced expression on her brother's face. "Stefan. If we make her family -- her history -- into a big deal, then there is no way this is going to be a one time thing. And it sets a dangerous precedent. This has to be the only time she ever goes to Luke Spencer for anything. We both know that."
"And how do you imagine this accomplishes that?"
She smirked. "From my many experiences, 'plotting' with Luke Spencer, I've learned a few things. The first one being -- Nothing reacquaints a person with their disdain for the man quicker than spending time with him on a regular basis." She glanced up and caught her brother's eye. "Carly and Luke don't have a lot of tolerance for each other. And you know that Luke is never going to make a move to accept Nikolas's history himself."
"All the more reason to keep his path as far from Nikolas as possible."
"If that were an option, I'd agree. But this ball is already rolling -- The only thing we can do it make sure it does as much damage to Luke as humanly possible, so that this card is never, ever, played again." She took a quick breath. "So. I told Carly it would be good for her case -- which, incidentally, it is. And I told Nikolas it would be over by the time the judge ruled - which, incidentally, it no doubt will be. And now I'm telling you -- This is the quickest way to get this to all go away."
"Quite the puppet master."
"I learned from a virtuoso," Alexis leaned forward earnestly. "Let me fix this. Your fingerprints can't be anywhere near it -- not if you want Nikolas back in the fold any time soon. So this is what I'm suggesting -- We accept this. We accept her, we accept where she comes from. We even accept her working as a waitress for God's sake! Nikolas knows what that means! Things will calm down. Some of the sting will dissolve. Carly is a Cassadine, whether we like it or not. The funny thing is -- I think she even wants to be one." She allowed a small smile. "Give her a couple of weeks of Luke breathing down her neck, she'll probably take up Latin and polo."
Stefan averted his gaze. "And Nikolas?"
"I think he's angry -- at both of you. He'll forgive her first. Hopefully because she'll give him a reason to. Out of sheer force of will, otherwise."
Stefan snorted in disgust.
"She's his wife," Alexis looked at him, helplessly. "And you're his father. I know, no matter what he might have said to you today, how much that means to him. He'll come back when he's ready. Once he's had some time."
Her brother's eyes darted back at her, expressing a rare and valued glimpse of honest vulnerability. Then he turned away -- shifted his chair to face the opposite wall, hand brought up to cover his mouth, eyes boring determined holes into the leather-bound volumes on the far shelf. When he finally spoke, his voice was low and rasping.
"Do you know, the first time he really came to speak to me after he discovered our true relationship... I never suspected things would turn this way."
Alexis slid forward in her chair, placing her glass on the edge of the blotter. "He accepted it."
Stefan nodded, numbly. "Once he got over the initial shock. Yes. He accepted it -- more than that, he said he'd wanted it. He said he'd wished most of his life that I..." His mouth twisted, face flushed and she watched as he tried to fight a swelling emotion. "I thought that we would be able to continue as we had!" he ground out, agonized. "But as father and son, this time. I thought this would make us stronger, and I do NOT understand why it succeeded in cleaving right though the center of everything that held us together."
"I wish I had an answer to that," Alexis spoke is soft tones of reassurance, while dropping her eyes to the desk top. She'd never mastered the art of watching Stefan like this. Despite everything they'd been through, a part of her needed to hold on to the strong and determined young man who had pulled her through her childhood. She felt trusted, that he allowed her to see him like this. But she also felt a deep and unescapable fear. An old worry that, if she didn't keep things running as smoothly as she could for him, he'd be gone. Life without out him absolutely terrified her -- enough that she'd taken the chances she had today. She'd manipulated the situation as best she could -- because it was the only way she could see to keep them all safe. "Something happened," she murmured, finally. "We both know that. Something happened entirely outside of the mere fact that you're his father. And that's what's taken him away. Not just from you, but from everyone." She raised her eyes. Forced herself to look at the tremor in his brother's hands. "I want that to end," she felt her own voice crack. "I can't stand to see him like this -- as much as he hides it -- and I honestly think Carly is the key. He's opened himself up enough to fall in love with this woman. I can't see that as a bad thing!"
"He had opened himself to Miss Scorpio, had he not?"
"To an unattainable woman he knew he'd never have to risk having," Alexis sighed. "I have no way of knowing what he allowed her to see. But no matter what you think of Carly, she's given him more than Robin ever did. And he's changed by it." She reached out and brushed her hand over the back of her brother's hand. He let go of the arm rest in a sudden movement and grabbed her hand in his. It was so fast it made her jump. Made her heart leap. "God, Stefan," she let the words spill out of her. Trying to feed something in him, to make this better. "We can get him back. I can feel it -- If he just finds a way to start trusting again, to be in this world again... If he can believe that you accept his marriage..." She felt her own tears welling a little and tried to laugh. "You know, what's always bound Nikolas and I together is you. We both understand who you are. We both love you for it." She saw Stefan flinch, and then he dropped his head. "I promise you, that will never change."
"I blame Katherine," Stefan spit, as he impatiently wiped at an escaping tear with his free hand.
"Well, yes -- that's a safe target."
"He trusted her. He trusted her and she betrayed him, utterly."
"Maybe that's part of it. We can't know for sure. But I don't think it's you. I think the problems you had with Nikolas when he was 16 are the problems you have with him today and nothing you did -- certainly not the fact that you're his father -- caused this!"
Stefan lifted his head. He still did not look at her."I do not know how much more of this I can bear," he told her, simply.
"It won't be forever," Alexis squeezed his hand and was reassured when he returned the gesture. "I promise you."
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