Chapter Eight:
New Ground

Nikolas felt Carly's body melt against him, all at once, and instinctively pressed himself closer to her. She responded, sliding her hands down his muscular arms and sliding them around his waist, pulling their bodies together. Nikolas felt the familiar sensation of losing his sense of direction as he surrendered to the feeling of his lips moving against hers, sinking his hands into her hair, as her lips parted, deepening the kiss.

The kiss, which had started out so different from the previous clinches they had shared, began to heat rapidly. Nikolas drank her in. The softness of her lips, the warmth of her mouth, mixed with the cigarette smoke that clung in her hair, and the taste of alcohol still heavy on her breath. Nikolas found himself forgetting exactly how it was they came to be here. In fact, the "here" ceased to matter. It was hard not to feel a certain surge of triumph. He'd done it. He'd won her over.

Carly lost all sense that this had been something she'd been resisting. Everything seemed fluid, natural, unavoidable. She explored his back, sliding her hands under his shirt as his hands slid out of her hair, following a downward trajectory along her arms. Carly felt her knees begin to weaken and she stumbled slightly, pulling Nikolas with her. Suddenly, without warning, she felt him press her against he chain link fence she's been clinging to only minutes earlier. Carly gasped against his mouth, shocked to have inspired this kind of behavior in him. His mouth began to devour hers, and Carly matched his passion without hesitation, kissing him hungrily, and pulling him even closer as he pressed against her.

Nikolas felt like he was losing his mind. If anyone had ever told him he would end up here, he would have said they were in need of serious help. He felt like she had somehow conjured up something in him that he didn't know existed and it was leading him, bringing him through shadows. All he knew was that he wanted to be as close to her as humanly possible. It wasn't rational, the place, time and specifics didn't matter. All he cared about was feeling her, having her clinging to him, arching against him and trying to bring him closer to her. He could tell she felt the same way he did. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been able to think of those words when talking about a woman. Felt the same way. Maybe that had never happened.

Using every ounce of self control he held in reserve, Nikolas managed to pull his lips away from hers, and bury his face into her hair, whispering to her urgently. "We have to get out of here."

Carly had been so lost in the moment that she started at the sound of his voice. Right. Here. The alley. In broad daylight, surrounded by garbage... Oh, what was she doing?

"Uh... yeah," she gasped, trying to get a grip on herself.

Nikolas breathed in the smell of her perfume, his face pressed against her neck, then began to trail his lips along her throat.

"Where?"

Carly closed her eyes, dropping her hands and slipping her fingers back through the links, grasping the fence tightly. Nikolas was now pulling at the neck of her t-shirt, to kiss her collarbone.

"Oh, God..." she moaned, feeling his hands begin to slide from her waist, up her rib cage. She shook her head hard. "We can't go to my place, my brother's there."

Nikolas paused, leaning against her a moment. Yeah, that was something to be avoided. "Well," he panted. "My place is out of the question."

Carly laughed, breathlessly. "Yeah, just a bit."

Nikolas pulled back, looking into her eyes. He stared at her, entranced a moment, before moving in to kiss her again. "There's got to be some place," he murmured against her lips.

Some place. Some place. Carly felt Nikolas's hands slide under her shirt, roaming up her back while his mouth left hers, returning to laying soft kisses along her neck.

"There's your car..."

It took Nikolas a moment to put the pieces together. He pulled back, sharply, once they fell into place, and stared at her.

"My car?"

"Uh, is that an American thing?"

An American thing. No, Nikolas thought, as he gazed at her. Not an American thing... Just not a Cassadine thing. He shook his head slowly, sinking against her again, and began to lightly caress her cheeks, temple, eyelids, with his lips. "No, no..." He whispered as he brushed his mouth along the base of Carly's neck, causing her to shiver. "Some place where we can be alone. Where we can have time."

Carly went limp against the fence at his words. Time. Alone. She shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut. Think, Carly, she demanded of herself. THINK!

There was, of course, the Port Charles Hotel, which was impractical for so many reasons she nearly laughed at the thought of it. No, that wasn't going to work. No place where they could run into people... Which left them with extremely limited options. Flea bag motels could certainly be found not far from here. Another room that smelt of mold, with yellowed and stained sheets, thin walls... Why did she keep doing this? Why was she always screwing rich boys in scuzzy surroundings? Hell, she might as well just do him here in the alley, she thought, bitterly.

Nikolas had decided he HATED the t-shirt Carly was wearing. He was this close to doing it serious harm as he tried, desperately, to find a way to get it to reveal just a little more skin. He had to stop. It was just that simple. He had to stop before he lost whatever reason he still possessed. He forced himself away from her, grasping the fence with both hands and pushing himself back, at arm's length.

"Any ideas?" he asked, not caring what she suggested, as long as it meant he could get her alone.

Carly, feeling his the heat of his body move away from her, turned her head, fixing her eyes on a puddle of liquid, seeping out of one of the garbage bags that littered the alley. She battled the emotions suddenly swirling around in her. She wanted to pull him against her again, just feel him wanting her, and forget the rest of this. And then... Then there were the questions. The doubts she'd finally banished when she'd kissed him, back with double force. She always ended up here. Unofficial whore to the Port Charles Upper Crust. She felt her throat tighten, as a coldness gripped her.

Nikolas did not like the look on Carly's face at all. In fact, he felt like she had slipped, in a matter of seconds, away from him again. He stepped back, battling a rising panic. Why couldn't he hold on to her?

"Carly?"

Carly's face twisted bitterly, and she looked up at him, through her hair, which was now mussed, and unruly.

"What?" she snapped.

Nikolas regarded her cautiously.

"Did I do something wrong?"

Carly laughed hollowly. "Would it matter if you did?"

Nikolas felt immediately sick. He looked away from her, feeling a flush of embarrassment come on him.

"I... I'm sorry," he stammered. He could feel himself heading downward on this emotional roller coaster. "I'm sorry, I lost my senses, I shouldn't have..."

Carly stared at Nikolas with undisguised amazement. "What are you apologizing for?" she asked, her voice blunt. Nikolas looked back at her. She was still holding the fence, but now she was leaning slightly towards him, her brow furrowed in confusion. He looked back at her, equally perplexed.

"I..." He stopped, giving his head a hard shake. "Maybe you'd better just tell me what's wrong."

Carly stared at him, uncertainly, then leaned back against the fence, loosening her grip on it for the first time in minutes. He fingers ached, and she stretched them, ensuring they still worked.

"Never mind," she mumbled, crossing her arms.

Nikolas looked heavenward, trying to summon the strength to figure out exactly what had gone wrong and when. He looked back at her, staring sullenly at the ground, and sighed.

"I didn't mean to do that," he said, finally. "I didn't come out here planning to do that."

Carly looked up at Nikolas, startled.

"Excuse me?" she laughed, forcing herself to ignore the expression on Nikolas's face. She wished he'd stop looking at her like that. It made it difficult to think straight. "Come ON, Nikolas," she continued. "You want me to think that it slipped your mind -- what you got from me that you couldn't get, for some inexplicable reason, from anyone else?"

Nikolas was momentarily taken aback. His gut instinct was to disentangle himself from this conversation immediately, but another part of him, a stubborn and insistent part, wouldn't let him. He folded his arms across his chest, mimicking her stance, and met her gaze intently.

"Is THAT what you think I'm doing here?"

Carly felt immediately uncomfortable. Her certainty that she had pegged the situation was fading by the second, the issue clouding up on her. She set her jaw, regardless, plowing ahead.

"Look, I feel like it's my civic duty or something to inform you, Nikolas... If you apply yourself -- and I mean, just a little -- to someone a little less rigid than Robin Scorpio? You really shouldn't have that much trouble getting laid. I mean, the car alone --"

"Will you shut up, please?" Nikolas turned away from her, feeling his stomach twist at her words. He stared down the alley, feeling an anger bubbling up inside of him. He turned back to her, his eyes flashing.

"You mean because I'm rich? Because I'm from royalty? Or is it because I'm dark and mysterious?" Nikolas's eyes widened. "Or maybe dangerous? After all, my family is infamous for inflicting harm on the women who come near us. Is that why I can 'get laid', Carly?"

Carly stared at him, momentarily speechless. That, she hadn't expected. She took a moment to answer. "That wasn't what I meant," she muttered, after a lengthy pause.

"Then what DID you mean?"

"I mean," Carly said, an edge creeping into her voice, as she looked back at him, meeting his glare, "That you are built, ok? And you're a really good kisser, you seem to know EXACTLY how to..." She stopped, unsure of how to say this. Did she want to admit to that? That when he looked at her she lost all sensation of the ground beneath her feet? That the way his hands moved over her, so gently, she felt like he was going to drive her out of her mind... She looked away from him. "You don't need the car, or the money, or all that other crap, Nikolas."

Nikolas looked at Carly disbelieving. Yeah. All this stuff had gotten him so far in life. None of it had ever afforded him what he really wanted. And now she was using it as some kind of excuse to push him away. It mad him unbelievably angry.

"What are you saying, Carly," he urged, his voice cold. He wanted her to actually SAY something for once, he'd had it with this act. Carly rolled her eyes and looked back at him, trying like hell to stay detached.

"What do you think?" she said, belligerently.

Nikolas, already glaring at her, seemed to turn to stone on the spot.

"Why exactly did YOU sleep with me?" he demanded, severely.

Carly drew back slightly, stunned. She looked away from him, quickly. "I..." she felt her voice fail on her, shaking slightly. How the hell was she going to get out of this? And how had it ended up that SHE was defending herself for giving him exactly what he wanted? She'd saved him from the dreaded virgin-land, for God's sake, and now he wanted her to JUSTIFY herself? She felt a surge of indignation mixed with embarrassment, and looked back at him, lifting her chin defiantly.

"You want to know why I had sex with you, Nikolas? You were THERE."

He looked like she'd just stabbed him. Like she'd just torn his heart right out of his chest and drop kicked it. Nikolas didn't look away from her, though. He kept his eyes on her as she watched them register what she'd said, fill with pain and humiliation, then go cold. He looked away, fixing his eyes on the wall, not moving, not making any effort to speak. She felt a wave of regret hit her, full force, nearly knocking her over. Instead, she slid, slowly, down the fence, coming to crouch on the ground, leaning back against the fence.

"And..." she ventured, her voice sounding distant. She closed her eyes, remembering the way he'd looked at her. She felt them fill with tears and she turned her head away from him. "You were sweet. You were tender... You..." she shuddered, not wanting to acknowledge these words were actually coming out of her mouth.

"I was what?"

Carly opened her eyes, looking back at him. He was still staring at the wall, but his expression was more clearly agonized now. She swallowed hard, unable to fight the desire she had to repair what she'd just said to him. She couldn't explain it, but hurting him like that... She knew she couldn't just let it lie. She exhaled heavily.

"You were what I needed," she allowed. Nikolas swallowed hard, still feeling unsure. Carly's voice dropped to a whisper. "I didn't want to be alone."

"Neither did I."

Nikolas turned from the wall and took Carly in, huddled against the fence. Damn it. It was back, again. That incredible vulnerability that kept shooting through him, crumbling everything. He barely knew this woman, he thought once again. He barely knew anything about her, but she grabbed him. Something in her just broke right through everything and sent him spinning. He'd never reacted like this to anyone. Ever.

"What's your name?" Nikolas asked suddenly. Carly opened her eyes, and looked back at him quickly, frowning.

"What?"

"Your name," Nikolas prodded. "Your real name."

Carly laughed nervously, and brushed her hair out of her eyes. "Caroline Benson," she drawled, adopting an exaggerated southern accent. "Don't tell me you never heard that."

"I did. I know I did. I just never --"

"Paid attention. Understandable."

"I'm paying attention now."

Carly found herself laughing again -- getting alarmingly close to giggling. For a guy who had seemed so clueless when she first met him, he was turning out to be a pretty capable flirt. And, in a way, it seemed to be his way of forgiving her. The idea made her relax a little, a warm feeling spreading through her.

"Well, don't ask me again, it could get ugly," she joked with him, by way of apology. Nikolas stared at her, his eyes running over her face, taking in the streaks the mascara had left on her face, the red at the rims of her eyes, the way she held herself. She was sorry, he could tell that. He smiled at her, gently, allowing himself to let go of the anger that was dissipating as quickly as it had come on him.

"I won't, Caroline." he said softly. Carly looked away, clearing her throat, trying to ignore the sudden tingling sensation running through her. She'd always hated her name. That was the only time in her life it sounded beautiful to her.

"What are you doing here," she shook her head, in amazement. "I mean, come on, Nikolas. You're in an alley. A smelly alley. With garbage, and rodents, probably. If you're not slumming, then what ARE you doing here?"

Nikolas looked around the corridor, taking it in, really, for the first time. He shrugged. "You came out here, I'm not responsible for this location."

"Yeah, but that's what I'm asking. Why did you come out here?"

Nikolas's expression softened. Was she really questioning that? She must be. That was why she'd said what she had. He felt immediately contrite for turning on her.

"You were upset," he said, gently. "I had to make sure you were alright."

Carly shivered, wrapping her arms around her tightly. Nikolas dropped down to her level, crouching in front of her, searching out her eyes. She looked back at him reluctantly.

"I'm fine."

"You weren't."

"I will be. I always am."

Nikolas studied her. It was a lie. He could see that as clearly as he'd ever seen anything in his life. Recognizing lies was not his strong suit, but his was clear. Her expression was clouded, she could barely look at him. He reached out, tentatively, and brushed her hair back from her face.

"Do you want to talk about her?"

Carly laughed softly, leaning her head back against the fence. "Who? Carly?"

"Who else is there?"

Carly shrugged. "What is there to say? She was my friend... She died. I stole her name." She sighed heavily. "My mother thought that was a lack of respect, but..." Carly let her voice drift off, suddenly feeling too tired to continue. Virginia, Carly... This was too much. "Can we talk about something else?"

"You must have loved her."

Carly exhaled heavily, then looked back at him. He was gazing at her, tenderly. She felt a lump appear in her throat and swallows painfully, nodding in agreement.

"I did," she managed. She didn't know how to explain to him that no one else had ever thought that. That everyone had just assumed she was cold and unfeeling -- and an opportunist. How was she supposed to explain to them that she took Carly's name because... Because Carly didn't deserve to die. She deserved to have some kind of life. And she wanted her with her. She couldn't just leave her and her memory behind.

Nikolas reached out and took Carly's hand. "I meant what I said. I am sorry... For whatever happened."

"It was a car accident," Carly blurted out. "A drunk driver. She was killed on impact. She was only sixteen, and..." Carly stopped, forcing herself to take a deep breath. "She was the best friend I ever had."

Nikolas took in a deep breath, nodding. "I didn't have many childhood friends," he mused.

"Neither did I," Carly sighed, leaning her head back to look up at the sky. She closed her eyes and drew in a lung full of the thick air. "It was practise," she said, her voice empty. "For losing people."

Nikolas stared at her, wishing she'd look back at him. Just for a moment. He didn't feel like there was anything to say to that, except that he understood. He'd done it his whole life. Every person he encountered, he tried to prepare for them to leave. The only person who hadn't was his father. Everyone else, at one time or another, had deserted him. He reached out, finally, and let his hand stroke her cheek, lightly. Carly smiled, then opened her eyes, to look directed into his.

"I'm sorry," she said, unaware the words were even on her tongue until they spilled out of her mouth. She repeated them, nonetheless, just to reassure herself that they were there. "I'm sorry."

Nikolas shook his head. "It doesn't matter."

Carly stared at him, cocking her head to one side. It had mattered, it had mattered a lot. She'd forgotten what it had felt like to effect someone like that. She felt a surge of emotion flowing through her veins, suddenly, and she leaned forward, taking his face into her hands, and kissing him deeply.

Nikolas struggled to keep his balance, finally reaching out, blindly, and finding the fence, gripping his hands on it, to allow him to maintain his awkward position. Carly's kiss was intense, thorough. She pulled back finally, and laughed at the dazed expression on Nikolas's face.

"God," she muttered. "How did you do this to me?"

"I'm a Cassadine," Nikolas said, smirking slightly, as he returned to the here and now. "I'm accustomed to getting what I want."

Carly felt her mouth go dry. She tried to laugh the remark off.

"Oh, yeah? And what do you want?"

"Lots of thing," he shrugged, before meeting her eyes with his, absorbing her. "But right now, they all begin and end with you."

Carly felt a smile begin to creep onto her lips, despite her best efforts... She was falling for this. It was a line, if there had ever been one, but a good one. She stood up slowly, her eyes locked on his.

"Alright, Nikolas Cassadine..." she rolled his name around her mouth. "Why don't we got some place and explore your options."