Chapter One Hundred Five:
Family Drama

Lucky's Apartment.

Having showered, changed, and tried to pretend he's having a normal life, Lucky is now lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. Sleeping pills, he's decided, suck. I mean, a conservative estimate suggests that he got nine to ten hours sleep last night. And he feels like it was nothing. He doesn't remember falling asleep, he doesn't remember waking up. It's like it didn't happen. He just lost several hours. And now he feels zapped, without energy, and his brain is not operating on a linear path. The first sign of this is the fact that he hasn't already left this place. It's only a matter of time before his father shows up. And he would get up, leave, go SOME PLACE if he could just figure out what place he's supposed to go.

More than anything, right now, leaving town seems to be a very good idea. Except he's promised Lulu he wouldn't, Emily is still in the hospital, and he's not entirely sure what's going on with Helena or how it connects to Jason. And as much as he wants to care about that first, care about stopping her, saving Emily, saving… Well, it's come down to that… saving himself. He really should care more about the fact that she wants to kill him, but he can't. No, the part he cares about, and it's only really just hitting him now, is the fact that she wants Nikolas to kill him. And that he's not entirely sure Nikolas wouldn't do it. Not on purpose, but…

Therein lies the problem. It's hitting too close to home. That's what bothers him most. It's not a secret that he and Nikolas don't get along, but for the most part, people seemed to think things had cooled. Hell, for awhile there it was an ice age. But Nikolas still gets to him. Gets to him without warning, out of nowhere. Yesterday had proved that. And Helena knows it, somehow. It was like she was invading some part of his brain. To close, to easy, to probable. He doesn't like the idea of being that easy to read. Or manipulate.

He shakes his head, banishing this line of thought. If there was any way to get into this and avoid Nikolas completely, he'd do it. And he supposes there is. Leave town, do what he was going to do all along. Before things heat up, before Helena pulls another stunt. Before the purpose of this stupid bank account reveals itself. There is every reason in the world for him to get out of here. And only two reasons to stay. But the scales aren't tipping in his favor this time. So he's going to have to do something else.

Lucky's thoughts are interrupted by a knock at the door. A knock, not a pound… which seems very unlike his father. He looks over at the door, then turns back to the ceiling. He does not want to face this. When his Dad is angry everything is easy. He just gets angry back, distracts him, pushes him away, and it's all justified. What really kills him is his father's attempts to communicate with him. Because that's when he has to hurt him. And he knows it looks like it comes out of nowhere. The knock comes again, a little louder. He closes his eyes. No point in putting this off.

Lucky: It's open. (After a moment's hesitation the door opens, and Lucky lies there, waiting. Nothing happens. He feels a chill come over him, and sits up suddenly.) Oh, God. (Nikolas, standing in the doorway, frowns. Lucky falls back onto the bed again)

Nik: Good morning to you too.

Lucky: How'd you know I was here?

Nik: Saw your car out front. (Lucky nods slightly)

Lucky: That'd do it. (He gives Nikolas a bored look) Sorry you wasted the trip, but I'm not doing family today, Nikolas. (Nikolas stops, just as he's stepping into the room and stares at his brother. What? He waits for Lucky to cover, but he makes no move, doesn't even seem to notice what he just said. Family? When the hell did he become family? Nikolas opens his mouth to respond, then stops. Don't push. Better just to stick to the task at hand. He sighs)

Nik: This isn't about family.

Lucky: (slightly mocking) I don't see how THAT can be.

Nik: It's about Emily. (Nikolas reflects that in some ways Lucky is remarkably predictable as he sits bolt upright on the bed)

Lucky: What about her?

Nik: My Grandmother is still threatening her.

Lucky: That's not news.

Nik: Look, I'm not sure exactly what she's saying, Hannah's pretty jumpy about the whole thing. But Emily's been moved out of ICU…

Lucky: I know that.

Nik: (with forced patience) Ok. But that means she's off the IV's and any machines. She's eating on her own, she's basically just under heavy observation…

Lucky: Point, please. (Nikolas grits his teeth. God. Some things never change)

Nik: Hannah thinks you guys should get out of town as fast as possible. (Lucky nods, then stops, narrowing his eyes)

Lucky: (suspiciously) Where’d she tell you this?

Nik: On the roof of the apartment building. Look, I know what you're thinking. It wasn’t IN the apartment. That's bugged. She has to say… (He lets his voice trail off, unsure if Lucky really has to know this)

Lucky: What?

Nik: It's not important.

Lucky: If it’s coming from Helena, it's important! (Nikolas sighs heavily, nodding)

Nik: She told me that there were guys at the club looking for you, that you were in this mob thing deep and that you just wanted me to think that the "hit" was about Helena and not you… That's it.

Lucky: Right. I'm a regular Al Capone.

Nik: The minute we were out of the apartment she told me it was all a lie, ok? (Lucky leans forward, covering his face with his hands. His mind if working too slowly this morning)

Lucky: So… There's no way Helena WANTS me to leave…

Nik: Well. If you did I couldn't really kill you, right?

Lucky: Right. (He looks up again) Sorry to rain on your parade.

Nik: I'm not going to kill you, Lucky. (Lucky nods dully)

Lucky: Yeah, yeah.

Nik: My point is… her plan hinges on you being in town.

Lucky: (mostly to himself) And her plan is to get you back on her side.

Nik: It appears to be. (There is a long pause)

Lucky: (quietly) I am not in deep with the mob, ok? Not at all. (Nikolas stares at him)

Nik: Ok.

Lucky: I'm serious. ANYTHING she shows you, anything she does to try and make it look like I am, like I've put my family in danger… (Lucky's voice cracks slightly. He coughs to cover it) It’s all a lie. I wouldn't do that.

Nik: (very quietly) What do you do for him then?

Lucky: You SAW what I do for him. I… Find stuff. That's it. (Nikolas leans against the desk, and takes in Lucky. He looks exhausted. And he's completely ignoring what happened yesterday. It's all he can do not to ask more questions. Finally Lucky looks up at him) I’m just telling you that because you need to know.

Nik: I don't believe anything she tells me. I never have.

Lucky: (heavily) Good idea. From what I hear.

Nik: I try to make it a blanket policy. (Lucky nods slowly, as the words sink in. What…? He looks up sharply.)

Lucky: Gee, Nik. That's healthy. And people tell me I'M paranoid.

Nik: You just told me within 24 hours that my "uncle" blackmailed my mother, and tried to take over the world with a Faberge egg and you're questioning my distrust in the world? (Lucky smiles slightly)

Lucky: Yeah, ok. Knock yourself out. (He stops, and considers this a moment) I don't have any proof for you. I mean, that IS my proof. That there isn't any. I tried to keep it quiet… Until you found out… OH! And thanks for telling my mother, that was really helpful.

Nik: I thought she already knew. (He sighs) I know, what was I thinking?

Lucky: What's that supposed to mean?

Nik: It means your father has a history of keeping your mother in the dark.

Lucky: (bitterly) Yeah. What a bastard. It's not like she's even done that to him.

Nik: (annoyed) You think two wrongs make a right here? (Lucky tenses visibly)

Lucky: I think you should stay the hell out of my family's business!

Nik: It's my family too! She's my mother, for God's sake. Hell, technically Luke is my stepfather.

Lucky: (deadly quiet) He’s my father. THEY are my parents. And those are OUR problems.

Nik: Yeah… They are. OURS. Yours, theirs, Lulu's and MINE. It's my parentage. It's all about me! It's about your father hating the air I breathe, hating my EXISTENCE, never mind my father… You can't shut me out of it, as much as you might want to. (Lucky looks at Nikolas, wanting to fight back more than anything, but unable to find something to grab onto, something to say. He can feel the shakiness take hold of him again. He looks away from Nikolas, but it's too late, Nikolas has seen the tortured look in his eyes. He stares at him. Lucky puts a hand over his eyes, wrapping his other arm across his stomach. Nikolas sighs, feeling more than a little guilty for his outburst) I’m sorry. (Lucky says nothing, still not looking at him) And I do believe you, ok? I… I have to trust you. I know you love Emily, and Lulu… You wouldn't mess that up. (Lucky doesn't move. Nikolas takes a step towards him) Lucky?

Lucky: (quietly) I… I can't. (Nikolas freezes, unsure of what to do. Some part of him, some protective instinct wants to reach out to him. Ask him what's wrong. But he knows he won't get an answer. He clears his throat)

Nik: Lucky… I… Look, I don't know if I can do this either. (Lucky looks up at him, angrily)

Lucky: Do what? Watch? God! You are the ONE person in all of this who is safe. Who's going to turn their back on you? You just have to make sure you don't kill me. Right?

Nik: I…

Lucky: What, are you worried you won't be able to help yourself? You'll just loose it with me and slit my throat or something?

Nik: No! Jesus, Lucky! I'm not going to hurt you! I swear to God, I won't do it! I'm trying to HELP you! (The word is out before Nikolas can stop himself. DAMN. No. Stop. Its like a badly planned chess move you notice the second you take your hand off the piece. There is no way to backtrack. He steps back, waiting for the explosion. It doesn't come. Instead Lucky looks at a spot on the wall for a long moment before speaking)

Lucky: I really think I'm going to throw up. (Nikolas jerks his head back in surprise.)

Nik: What?

Lucky: I just… (An unmistakable tremor enters his voice) I just want it to stop. (Nikolas can't believe the feeling that comes over him at those words. His brother looks so lost, so vulnerable… he grips the edge of Lucky's desk to stop himself form moving towards him, from doing something Lucky would no doubt take offence to. He has to maintain a distance. He can't let himself forget who he's dealing with).

Nik: (softly) Leave. You have to leave. Take Emily and get as far from here as you can. (Lucky nods, numbly).

Lucky: I know. (He closes his eyes) I know. I don't have a choice.

Nik: Hey… You have a choice. You do. It's just that only one of them makes sense. (Lucky looks at Nikolas darkly, clearly unimpressed) Besides… This is what you do best, right? Even if this IS what Helena wants you to do… It'd be dumb. Like trying to corner you on your own turf. (Lucky's annoyance fades slightly)

Lucky: I'm not worried about that. Yeah, once I'm gone, I'm gone. No one will find me… (He stops, a lump forming in his throat. He forces it down, painfully) Look… (Nikolas looks at him expectantly) Fine, you want to help me… (God, this is hard. Lucky takes a deep breath, not knowing if he can get the words out) Take care of Lulu. (The words hang in the air. Nikolas stares at him.)

Nik: You know I will.

Lucky: Yeah, well… This is going to be hard on her. Mom's going to see Stefan today. After that she doesn't really have an excuse… I mean, maybe me leaving will be all the excuse she needs, you know? Supposedly she's going to do this because of me…

Nik: She told me that, yeah.

Lucky: (haltingly) But if she tells and I… If I can't stay. Then. (He looks away, unable to say this while looking at Nikolas. This is what he always wanted. Lucky out of the way so that he could be all the brother Lulu needed. Lucky hadn't been able to help her when she was sick, Nikolas had. And now he wasn't going to be able to help her when… He shakes his head violently, turning on Nikolas) Look. You didn't grow up in a family like this, so I can't really expect you to understand… (Lucky's voice takes on an acidic tone, which he grabs onto. Anger, bitterness, this is safe.) Lu is used to two parents. And they are GOOD parents, ok? They're what they're supposed to be. (Nikolas' face clouds at these words, not just for his sake, but for Lucky’s. Good parents, and this is what they've done to their son?) You don't know what… (He presses his lips together, hard) I did it, ok? I went through it. When I was 12, they broke up for awhile. And it was hell. Lulu's going to have to do that. And she's too young… (He voice catches. Nikolas looks down at the ground so that Lucky won't be faced with the look of empathy that's registering on his face. God… It begins to hit home for him just how messed up Lucky is about all of this. He's right, he doesn't have a choice, but that has to be killing him. He knows how he felt when he thought he was going to have to leave Lulu. After a moment, Lucky speaks again, his voice now steady, through sheer force of will) This is going to be hard on her. She'll need something solid. Something she can rely on. And as much as I hate to admit it, that's you. (He closes his eyes).

Nik: (quietly) I’ll do what I can.

Lucky: (exploding) You have to do MORE than that! You have to be there for her! You want to be her brother, this is your chance! I'm not going to be there to get in your way, go wild man. She's yours.

Nik: (meeting his eyes, unable to disguise the pain he's feeling) Lucky… They aren't my parents. I'll do what I can, but she's going to want you. (Lucky stares at him. He turns away, and walks to the wall, leaning his head against it)

Lucky: There's no way. She can't have me. There's just no way. (Nikolas nods.)

Nik: Look… This is all conjecture right now. We have to…

Lucky: (Straightening up) yeah, I know. We have to figure out what to do next. (He looks at him) Look… (He glances over at the clock) It's almost visiting hours… Damn.

Nik: Problem?

Lucky: I… This would be easier if it wasn't going to happen in the middle of the day.

Nik: What would?

Lucky: Getting Emily out for the hospital. Aren't you following this?

Nik: (irritated) Well, there's two of us. You're supposed to be good at this stuff… what do we do?

Lucky: (looking over at Emily's bag, on the floor by the closet) We figure out our plan. (Nikolas smiles slightly at the word "our").

Nik: Fine. I have no place else to go.

Emily's Hospital Room.

Emily is awake, though barely, having been roused to take morning medication. It's infinitely better to be able to swallow down pills instead of having an IV, and whatever they were giving her in ICU. She's beginning to feel a little normal now. In fact, she almost feels fine, until she tries to move. Then she realizes that everything shifts on her, slides around the room, and she has to wait for it to stop spinning so that she can focus on things. She closes her eyes and lies back against the pillows, letting her mind wander off the topic of hospitals, and the way she feels, onto Lucky, once again. She's done nothing but obsess about him since last night. Obsess about what is going on, what everyone isn't saying to her. It's obvious that something is up. But she has a feeling Lucky won't be telling her any time soon.

She hears the door open, and her eyes fly open, hopefully. She starts slightly at the sight of Hannah.

Em: (surprised) Hi.

Hannah: I know, it's not visiting hours yet… but I thought I'd sneak in before the rush.

Em: (heavily) Rush. Yeah, the stampede to my bedside. It's been dizzying.

Hannah: Well, it's family only, right?

Em: (distantly) Yeah…

Hannah: Is this about Lucky?

Em: You know… I used to have problems that had nothing to do with him. Now he's so twisted up in everything I do, I feel like I'm half a person.

Hannah: I… He really is… (She stops. She's spoken about ten words to Lucky in the last three weeks. She sighs) I have a feeling you'll see him today.

Em: No, I see him every day. But… I know he doesn't want to see my brother. Or my Grandfather. Or my father, probably. So… Here I am. (She shakes her head) Ignore me. I'm being a suck. I'm bored out of my mind, everything hurts, and I want my boyfriend. It's dumb, I'll get over it.

Hannah: Seems pretty reasonable to me.

Em: I guess I'm just used to… God. A couple of months ago, I was the one who never had time for HIM. I guess there some sort of justice to this.

Hannah: I don't think it's about time.

Em: I know, I know… (She sighs, feeling tense. Why did she bring this up? She doesn't want to talk about it. She just… No, she can't shake the feeling. She really wants Lucky here, and he's been around about a total of fifteen minutes since the accident. And she understands that. But yesterday, after Nikolas came by, she'd really expected him to make an appearance. When he didn't, she couldn't shake a feeling of being a little hurt. Then a little worried. Worried he come by, seen Nikolas, and left. God. Back to their old patterns… scary old patterns. She just wants to see him so that she can make sure that didn't happen. And because, as much as she doesn't want to admit it, she really wants to feel him hold her, just for a minute. Somehow that feels like it might be the answer to everything. She blinks, bringing herself back to reality. Right. Hospital, headache, long lost aunt. Nothing a hug can solve. She smiles at Hannah weakly) Ok. I'm back.

Hannah: Are you sure?

Em: Yeah…

Hannah: Look, what I said about Lucky… I'm not sure what's going to happen, but he's probably going to be here soon.

Em: Something's going on with Helena, isn't it?

Hannah: Besides the fact that she tried to kill you?

Em: Wow. You're the first person to actually say it.

Hannah: Oh. I'm sorry.

Em: No, I knew that's what happened. But when I asked Lucky he… Well, the look on his face said it all, basically.

Hannah: It's not his fault?

Em: (laughing slightly) Are you kidding? This is Lucky. EVERYTHING is his fault. I'm waiting for the day he explains to me why he failed to stop the hole in the ozone. (She frowns) he just blames himself whenever he doesn't protect someone.

Hannah: (softly) Yeah… I can see that in him.

Em: Have you seen him?

Hannah: No, not really. Not much.

Em: Oh.

Hannah: He's ok. He and Nikolas are kind of getting along. A little.

Em: Yeah… Kind of.

Hannah: It's a start I guess. (They fall into a long silence as Emily contemplates this. After a moment, Hannah clears her throat) Listen, I shouldn't stay too long… I'm sure some nurse is going to come along soon to chase me out of here…

Em: Depends on who is on duty. I'm the daughter of the Chief of Staff, remember?

Hannah: Right… No, I… I'm sorry, it's strange for me to think of you as their daughter.

Em: Yeah, I guess so.

Hannah: So… Does that mean you get special privileges?

Em: Sometimes. It means… Either the nurses let a few things slide… Like visitors or something… OR they are REALLY strict, because they don't want to tick off the boss. (Hannah smiles)

Hannah: Do you know which kind is on right now?

Em: I'm not sure. It was Lucky's aunt, but it was some other woman this morning. (Hannah nods, slightly.)

Hannah: Ok… I just really wanted to come by and see you… I have a busy day ahead of me.

Em: What kind of busy?

Hannah: Oh, errands. Don't worry, nothing life threatening. I already paid my dues for today.

Em: Dues?

Hannah: (taking a deep breath) You know what? We don't want to get into this now. Just… Lucky knows what he has to know. And I'm sure he'll take care of it.

Em: (getting nervous) Ok…

Hannah: Besides… There's so many other things we could talk about. I mean… I still… I was thinking last night, I took out these pictures I have. Of your family, and stuff…

Em: Right. You told me about them.

Hannah: (smiling) I told you I had that picture from the day you were born. Your Mom holding you… I think your Dad took it.

Em: Right. Probably. Mom said he took pictures of everything.

Hannah: Do you remember him?

Em: Ummmm… A little. Just strange stuff. I know that at one point, I had a Dad. I kinda remember what that felt like, just a little. But I don't remember HIM. Not clearly. (She twists the blanket in her hands, a familiar and very old ache moving up from her stomach into her chest) Not like I remember Mom. (They fall into a long and painful silence) Do you remember him?

Hannah: Oh, yeah. I really thought he was cool. (Emily smiles slightly)

Em: Do… You know, a long time ago Lucky and I were talking and Lucky asked me about the day I was born. I thought really weird at the time, but I guess it was because he'd found out about you, and… Was testing the waters a bit.

Hannah: Yeah… I remember I told him something about that.

Em: You did?

Hannah: Oh… Just that I was there.

Em: Do you remember it?

Hannah: Yeah. I told you, remember? About how she let me hold you?

Em: Yeah, I remember… I was just wondering about him. About my father.

Hannah: Oh… He was… (She rolls her eyes) He was very proud. It was funny, your mom was SO tired and he was on this complete high. He kept talking too fast. She kept telling him to breathe, it was like Lamaze all over again, she made some joke about that. And then… He said that they had to sing you happy birthday. And your Mom thought that was really dumb. So… She sang this other song, this David Bowie song to you. They both did, actually, your Dad knew it too… but he kept messing up the lyrics. I remember, I watched them and it was probably the only time in my whole life that I understood the whole marriage/kids thing. They were having so much fun.

Em: (quietly) What did they sing?

Hannah: Oh… God, how did it go? It was called… Kooks, or something.

Em: (laughing) That sounds like Mom. She was always telling me I was silly, or crazy… I still do it all the time. I sign letters like that.

Hannah: What, like "From crazy Emily"?

Em: Kind of! It's just a joke. I have my crazy moments.

Hannah: Don't we all.

Em: The song… I don't think I ever heard it.

Hannah: (chewing her lip thoughtfully) I guess… It was hard for her to hear after he died.

Em: Do you know it? Do you know how it went?

Hannah: I… (She stops and thinks a long moment, then sings hesitantly a few bars) "Won't you stay in our lover's story… (She stops and smiles, remembering a little more clearly) IF you stay you won't be sorry, 'cause we believe in you… And soon you'll grow, so take a chance, on a couple of kooks, hung up on romance…" (she shakes her head) Something like that. (She looks at Emily who is now staring at her, eyes wide, looking a little more pale than she did before)

Em: They… They sang that?

Hannah: Yeah, they did. (Emily looks away, tears coming to her eyes sharply)

Em: That's funny… (She chokes slightly on a strangled laugh/sob. Hannah reaches out and takes her hand)

Hannah: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you.

Em: (Shaking her head a little) Oh, you didn't. (She tries to swallow down the lump, but tear spill over from her eyes.) It's just a little ironic. Because… (She falters as she forces the sentence out) They were the ones who didn't stay. (She dissolves into tears, covering her face with one hand, while Hannah holds the other. She looks at Emily with deep empathy, feeling tears come to her own eyes. God, it wasn't fair. It was such an awful thing to have happen to a child. They'd had so much hope that day and… She swallows hard)

Hannah: (a whisper) I’m sorry, Emily. I really am. I wish I'd been there. I should have been there.

Em: (hoarsely) Well… Que sera sera. C'est la vie… God, the French must be fatalistic people. (She laughs through her tears, looking over at Hannah)

Hannah: They must be… I never that of that before.

Em: I'm ok. (She takes a deep but shaky breath) I am. I'm… Thanks for telling me. It makes it sound like I really had a whole family back there… (She wipes her eyes) I'm glad I know.

Hannah: Good. (She gives Emily's hand a squeeze) I… I want to be there for you in some way, Emily. I mean, down the road a ways. When you're ready, all you have to do is ask me.

Em: I… All right.

Hannah: 'Cause I do have every intention of being there. (She sighs heavily) I should go. I… Don't want to tire you out.

Em: Yeah… I should probably… Sleep a little or something. (Hannah nods… She does look tired. She takes in her face. God this is hard, this is about impossible. She forces a smile)

Hannah: You know… I… (She stops. How is she going to do this? She feels like she has to, but … It's too soon. Too soon, too much, but she's out of time. She smiles) You are a really fun person, Emily. You really remind me of your mother. Of all the parts of her I loved so much.

Em: I… Thank you.

Hannah: I guess… That's why it was so easy to love you so quickly. (Emily blinks, and Hannah looks away talking too fast) I know it's different for you, you don't know me. And in a way, I don't know you… But I feel like I do. I recognize things in you from your mother, and even when you were a kid. And I feel like we share something. (Emily stares at her, unable to think of what to say. Finally she nods slowly)

Em: I… I guess we do. (She looks down at the blankets). Thanks. (Hannah nods, and takes one last look at Emily before turning to leave)

Hannah: I'm going to go. (Emily nods. She forces herself to look up at her)

Em: Ok. (Hannah smiles at her unsteadily. There is a brightness in her eyes, they seem to shine in a way that makes Emily's stomach tighten. She's seen that look in her mother's eyes. The brave "cancer" smile, the "I'm not going to let you see how scared I am" smile. She feels herself go cold, and is unable to return the gesture)

Hannah: I'll see you soon. Sooner than you'll think. (With that she turns and exits the room, quickly walking away, tears flowing freely once she's out of earshot. Back in the room, Emily stares up at the ceiling, not bothering to wipe away the silent tears running down her face. She closes her eyes, and wills her mind off of this topic, onto happier things, and prays for sleep to overtake her).

(The song "Kooks" was written by David Bowie and appears on his "Hunky Dory" album)