Chapter One Hundred Sixty-Eight:
Clear Air

Port Charles International Airport.

Alexis paces a small section of linoleum tiled floor with great impatience. She's flown commercial probably more often than any Cassadine alive, which is why she has the amount of patience she has. Nonetheless, she's getting annoyed. Mechanical difficulties. Something above all of them. For a flickering moment, Alexis thinks she understands the thought pattern behind that weather machine her father built. Controlling the external is very tempting at this minute.

Alexis paces back to the windows, staring out at the tarmac, the planes taxing out to the runway. Leaving. She shakes her head, more than a little bitter. A hand comes down, none too gently, on her shoulder.

Alexis: (spinning around) Oh my God!

Luke: Yes?

Alexis: How the hell did you know I was here?

Luke: I'm Luke Spencer. I know all, I see all. (Alexis stares at him)

Alexis: Maybe. But you look terrible. (Luke smiles)

Luke: Thank you, Darlin'. We can't all make sleep deprivation look as good as you. How long have you been here? Six hours?

Alexis: (rubbing her forehead) Get to the point, Luke. (Luke shakes his head)

Luke: Always the dutiful lapdog. Running after big brother again. His heart must be pounding pretty fast to let you leave the home fires unattended.

Alexis: (irritated) I'm doing what I think is best, not that I have any desire or need to explain it to you. (Luke nods slowly, looking out the window, then looks back at her)

Luke: What if I could tell you something.

Alexis: I'd be cautious. (Luke just stares at her, eyes boring into hers without emotion) Ok, what?

Luke: You gotta promise me one thing.

Alexis: Oh, God. You're getting really predictable, you know that?

Luke: It's big, Alexis.

Alexis: Right. (Luke steps back, arms raised)

Luke: Ok. Ok, counselor. If you're not interested…

Alexis: Just cut it out! For God's sake, Luke, what do you think I can do for you? I have no idea where Lucky is and God help me, right now, I don't much care.

Luke: You should. (Alexis stops and looks at him)

Alexis: What's that supposed to mean.

Luke: I need you to stick in Port Chuckles another twenty-four hours. I'm working on something.

Alexis: (narrowing her eyes) And what's that?

Luke: A hunch. One that could benefit both of us.

Alexis: I'm listening. (He shrugs, turning to leave)

Luke: I'll get back to you.

Alexis: That's IT? (Luke stops and looks at her) That's all you're saying?

Luke: Got an appointment to keep. But I'll be back. Don't worry your pretty little head about it.

Alexis: (darkly) Luke. Don't play games with me, I'm not in the mood. You either tell me something now to convince me it's worth my while to delay my trip and hang around here while you continue to chase your tail. I'm not getting involved with any of your family dramas, Luke. I'm up to my ears in my own.

Luke: They're the same drama, Alexis. The sooner we all see that, the further ahead we'll all be.

Alexis: What do you mean?

Luke: I told you. I'm playing a hunch. But if I'm right… I might have a good idea what's going on with your great white hope.

Alexis: Where is this coming from?

Luke: (blowing her a kiss) Later, Darlin'.

Alexis: Luke!

Luke: (smiling slightly) You wanna hint? Three words. “Russian Tea Room”. (He turns and strolls off, disappearing into the crowd. Alexis stares after him, then mouths the words to herself. They ring a bell, but she's not sure why. Her thoughts are interrupted by an announcement on the intercom)

Intercom: Attention all passengers on flight 136, Global Air to Venice. Our difficulties have been corrected and bordering will commence within the half- hour. Thank you for your patience. (Alexis closes her eyes, jaw clenched, and swears under her breath before turning on her heels and making her own way through the crowd, away from the gate).

Alexis: Damn him.

Lesley's flat, London, England.

Laura sets her bag down in the foyer, at the bottom of Lesley's stairs, and goes through her purse, flipping through the items, making sure she has everything. Lesley hovers nearby, wringing her hands.

Lesley: I wish you'd let me drive you.

Laura: Mom.

Lesley: At least let me call you a cab.

Laura: I want to walk.

Lesley: (folding her arms) Right. To Heathrow.

Laura: (turning to face her) I'm ready.

Lesley: Laura. You don't have to do this.

Laura: We've been over this, Mom.

Lesley: Yes, we have, but I'm willing to go over it again. (Laura closes her eyes a moment) There is no reason for you to go putting yourself in danger…

Laura: I'm not in danger.

Lesley: (exasperated) You're always in danger!

Laura: Not this time. Trust me.

Lesley: It's not you I don't trust.

Laura: (calling up the stairs) Lulu! Lu, honey… (Lulu appears almost immediately, indicating that she'd been waiting nearby)

Lulu: Are you leaving? (Laura opens her arms)

Laura: Come give me a hug goodbye. (Lulu stares at her a moment, then slowly descends the stairs)

Lulu: When are you coming back?

Laura: Soon.

Lulu: That's what everyone says.

Laura: I know. And we all mean it. (Lulu reaches the bottom stair and looks up at Laura)

Lulu: Ok. (Laura crouches down by Lulu and takes her daughter's hands, looking her directly in the eyes)

Laura: Don't worry about us sweetie. You just have a good week. Go and have fun with Grandma Leslie. Soak up some English culture. (She smiles) Your brother used to get to do things like this all the time when he was your age.

Lulu: Really?

Laura: Absolutely. He was in England for a little while. And France and Spain and Austria… All over. (She puts a hand to Lulu's cheek) Maybe you'll get to go to those places too. With him. Or Nikolas.

Lulu: (smiling a little) Ok.

Laura: But now you're on your own adventure. So have fun. And you and Grandma take care of each other, ok? (Lesley smiles slightly, standing behind Laura)

Lulu: (frowning a little) Mom?

Laura: Yes?

Lulu: If I take care of Grandma… And Grandma takes care of me… (Lulu stops and chews on her lip)

Laura: (a bit concerned) What is it?

Lulu: And Nikolas is taking care of Lucky… and Lucky is taking care of Nikolas… right?

Laura: Right.

Lulu: Then who takes care of you? (Laura sits back, a little surprised, then smiles)

Laura: I do. I'm taking care of myself. (She leans in and kisses Lulu's forehead, then pulls back and looks directly in Lulu's eyes again) And I'm going to be just fine. Believe me?

Lulu: (smiling again) Yeah.

Laura: Good. (She wraps her arms around her daughter) I love you to death, Lesley Lu. (She closes her eyes, holding rocking Lulu a little in her arms) I love you always.

The Campsite.

Nikolas hikes back to the campsite, having finished a good forty-five minutes of Tai Chi, in an attempt to clear his head. He's feeling somewhat better, more centered and less stressed than he had the day before. That previous night had been strange. Lucky and Emily were gone for almost an hour and when they came back Lucky was downright scary. Quiet. Bringing new meaning to the word. Nikolas was quite sure he hadn't even looked at him. The whole thing was the sort of thing that would have made him incredibly angry a few months ago. This time, however, when he looked at Lucky all he could think was “what happens in his head to make him act this way?” He was pretty familiar with self-loathing himself. He'd had it down to a science as a teenager. He hid it behind arrogance and a fair amount of impatience, but deep down, he'd been mired in the belief that he was someone so completely undeserving of love that his own mother hadn't cared to stick around.

He still felt like that sometimes. But not with the same intensity. He knew the story now, and it was not as black and white as he'd been led to believe. While running through repetitions, Nikolas had let his mind comb over the events of the last month, and it kept settling on particularly disturbing moments. Particularly, he remembered, Lucky's breakdown at the penthouse. The venom behind the things he'd said to Luke… Things Nikolas had thought about his brother. Things he had to question once he'd heard them come out of his mouth. And before that… His own fight with Lucky after finding out he was working for Jason. Lucky had lost it completely when he'd told him he didn't want him to die. For the first time, Nikolas found himself questioning just how attached Lucky was to life. He'd left Port Charles for Emily. He'd gone to the hospital after the accident for Emily. These were not encouraging signs.

Coming up to the crest of the hill where the camp is located, Nikolas spots Emily. She is alone, crouched on her knees, packing. He frowns, watching her for a moment. She doesn't notice him. Slowly, he approaches.

Nik: Where's Lucky? (Emily looks up, her face blank)

Em: Gone. (Nikolas stares at her, a bit startled) Oh. No. Not “gone”, gone. Gone for a walk, gone. (She returns to the task at hand) I thought I should stay here so you didn't come back to an empty site. (Nikolas nods slowly)

Nik: (without thinking) Thanks. (He glances around the campsite, noting that it is, for the most part, packed up again. The sleeping bags rolled, bags repacked. He looks back at Emily) You're pretty good at this… the camping thing. (Emily laughs lightly)

Em: I haven't exactly had a lot of practice. (She sits back on her heels and looks up at him, shielding her eyes against the sun) I guess I adapt well.

Nik: You do. Better than I do. I think even better than Lucky.

Em: Oh. Well… Lucky's a little off his game. (Pause) I didn't just say that.

Nik: No. I knew that. I mean… I know this has… (Nikolas stops, sighing) I don't know. I just know something is wrong. (He smirks bitterly) So what else is new.

Em: It's not you. (Nikolas looks at her oddly) I mean… Well. It's not really about any of us. At least, there's nothing any of us can do about it.

Nik: Except what you're doing.

Em: What do you think I'm doing?

Nik: (gesturing at the site) Taking care of him. Even if you haven't had a lot of practice. (Emily's face clouds)

Em: It's what I can do. (Emily furrows her brow in thought) I'm different, Nikolas.

Nik: Different?

Em: I can feel it. (She looks up at him) Can't you feel it? Nothing's the same. I don't mean what's happening, obviously. But something else. In addition. I'm just not the same person. (She looks at him critically) Neither are you. (Nikolas nods a moment, trying to remember just what he was before this. It's hazy an unclear.)

Nik: What about Lucky? (Emily stares off a moment)

Em: (distant) He just gets quieter and stranger… Last night… (She shakes her head hard) God, I'm doing it again.

Nik: (sitting down next to her) I know this is a strange concept, Emily, but… It's not like any of us have people to talk to. You're… You've become our rock, you realize that? (Emily looks up at him) I mean… I know I keep putting a lot on you. I imagine Lucky is doing the same. You don't put anything on anyone. (Emily lets out a ragged breath)

Em: I just… what happens with Lucky and I… I can't talk to you about that. I never talk to anyone about that. Not really.

Nik: I know. I'm not asking you to. I just think…

Em: Do you know how long it's been since I've seen him happy? (Nikolas looks back at her, seeing sudden tears shining in her eyes) I mean, really and honestly happy. It's been so, so long. Even when we… (She cuts off again, rubbing her arms quickly) Ok. I'm stopping now. I've officially said too much and I'm stopping now.

Nik: Does he know… Does he know how you're feeling?

Em: (laughing) Oh, God, does he. He hears all about it. But there's nothing he can really do. He just… He tells me that he loves me, he tries to open up as much as he can… He tries all kinds of things. But he can't stop the voices in his head, you know? Not even for a minute. It's like there's something constantly pushing him, constantly beating him up. How can someone ever be happy when they have that kind of stuff going on inside them all the time? God. When my life felt like that, I… (She sighs) Well, everyone knows what I did. I ended up trying to fly off my roof. (Nikolas looks up sharply)

Nik: Lucky doesn't…

Em: No. He's not… I don't think he wants to lessen the pain. (She digs at a spot on the earth with the toe of her shoe) That's the scary part. I mean… I don't drink anymore. Not since the overdose. I promised myself I wasn't going to try that stuff again until I was legal. But sometimes, I can't help but think, “God, Lucky. Just get drunk or something”. (She looks at Nikolas, apologetic.) I don't mean to sound like that would solve anything, but… It might get his brain to shut up for ten minutes.

Nik: (quietly) I wish there were something I could do.

Em: You really mean that, don't you?

Nik: Yeah. I do. I mean… He's here because of me. (He stops, considering that) Well. Because of Helena.

Em: He's here because of you. Nikolas. (Nikolas glances over at her) We were on our way out of town. We were gone. He went back because he was worried about you. If you think this is about you, you're right. It is. (She sighs) Emily, you are getting yourself in so much trouble. (She frowns) Oh, to hell with it. You can both just deal, ok? (Nikolas smiles slightly)

Nik: I'm trying. I'm “dealing” as best I can.

Em: (wryly) Aren't we all. (They fall into silence for several moments, until Emily suddenly sits up as if she's been stung) I can't believe I just… (She looks over at Nikolas) I can't believe I just sat here and complained to you about my boyfriend.

Nik: (a bit confused) Well, technically you were complaining about my brother too…

Em: No, I mean… Well. You know what I mean. (She searches his eyes) Don't you? (It dawns on Nikolas)

Nik: Oh.

Em: Yeah. Oh. (She smiles weakly) I'm sorry.

Nik: You and Lucky… You're different from Hannah and me. It's just… Not the same sort of thing.

Em: You loved her.

Nik: I love her. (The words sound hollow to Nikolas' ears. He can't think about Hannah. He just can't do it, not outside of his few confused conversations with Emily. Hannah he thought he knew. Hannah he misses, when he lets himself. But then there was Corrine. And that's a dichotomy his brain can't process right now. Hasn't since Stefan told him the laundry list of things she'd done that he'd know nothing about.)

Em: I can't stop thinking how… (She sighs) You have no idea how many hoops I've gone through not to say this. But… The last time I went camping? (She looks at him) It was in the desert. With Lucky. (She takes a deep breath) When we were looking for my Aunt Corey. (Nikolas digests this. Emily feels like she's messed up bringing this up, but can't quite figure out a smooth transition out of the topic. She continues the train of thought, increasing the speed of her speech) It was a long time ago. She was in England at the time. I think. She told, but I…

Nik: England.

Em: That's where she went first. After New York. I think. (She frowns) It's not as clear in my head as it should be.

Nik: (quietly) Nothing is as clear in my head as it should be. Not where she's concerned.

Em: I know. I should have taken notes. (Emily laughs humorlessly) But I'm dumb about this stuff. Everyone around me dies and I'm still surprised by it. More of that optimism, I guess.

Nik: Don't lose that.

Em: I'll… I'm going to try. (There is another long silence. Nikolas watches Emily while she stares off at the horizon.) Do you still have that letter?

Nik: Yes. Of course.

Em: I want to see it now.

Nik: All right.

The Streets of London.

Laura walks along briskly, her head held high, carrying only her small suitcase, and paying little attention to her surroundings. The air is crisp and wet, with a mild wind, and it's doing wonders to clear her head. Everything is beginning to feel clear. The steps she has to take to her inevitable destination. Old habits are returning without her even considering them. It feels more real than anything has in years.

She stops, glancing in a store window, and smiles to herself at what she sees reflected. She turns on her heel, and starts back down the street in the direction she just came in. She walks several meters down the street, her eyes focused on a man in a dark grey suit, examining his watch and stealing quick glances at a newsstand. She walks directly towards him, her smile widening when he doesn't meet her gaze or acknowledge her until it becomes impossible. He finally turns and looks at her, a little uneasy.

Laura: Hi.

Man: (coughing) Good morning, Miss.

Laura: Mrs. Mrs. Laura Spencer. But you knew that, right? (He stares at her) You're really not very good at your job. I spotted you almost immediately. I just wanted to see how close you'd let yourself get.

Man: Excuse me…

Laura: I want you to deliver a message for me. To your employer. (The man just stares at her, uncertain of what to say) Tell Stefan… Tell him that, if he really wants to continue this, he'll be able to find me. Tell him I know it's inevitable, if he's going to waste his time with me. But I'm not going to be followed. It's that simple. (The man blinks. Laura gives him another smile and turns to leave. She takes a few steps, then stops. She looks back at him, her smile having faded, a serious expression on her face) And… Tell him his nephew is safe. All right?

Man: Uh… Yes. Mrs. Spencer. (Laura nods, then turns, heading back up the street).