Chapter Two Hundred Seven:
Undone

"I refuse to prove I exist, says God, because proof denies faith, and without faith, I am nothing" -- Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

The Cassadine Compound

Luke stares at the thing young woman in front of him, and the veneer seems to fall of her. "Cassadine Drone" melts into nothing and suddenly she's a scared young girl, nervously clenching and unclenching her hands in front of him. He takes a step towards her and she immediately steps back. Luke stops, holding up his hands in surrender.

Luke: Ok. Ok... You wanna run that one by me again?

Mariah: It is difficult... for me to talk. (Luke nods, immediately the picture of reason)

Luke: Yeah. Yeah, the walls have ears.

Mariah: (confused) Ears...?

Luke: Never mind. Never mind, not important. (He takes another step, closing the distance between them. Mariah looks uncomfortable, but doesn't move) Look. You already took a big risk coming out here. I appreciate that. I do. But lets make sure that risk pays off. You have something to tell me, believe me -- I'm all ears. (Mariah bites her lip, and looks over her shoulder. Certain they are alone, she turns back to him, dropping her voice to a near whisper)

Mariah: I saw him. He was here. (Luke smiles, though he tries to suppress it. Finally! Some good news)

Luke: Here. On the island, or in the house?

Mariah: Both. He... He and his wife, they were here until yesterday --

Luke: YESTERDAY? (Mariah flinches at his volume, and Luke quickly drops it down again, forcing himself to halt the stream of profanity that wants to come flying out of his mouth. God Damnit, he knew he shouldn't have let Alexis drag him off to the middle of eastern Europe to collect the Count. One day he was going to have to obtain his own plane) Yesterday. Sure. (he looks heavenward) You're killing me here. (he stops, something that was just said twigging in his brain) Wait. Wife? (he looks over at her, shaking his head) Tall thing, long brown hair?

Mariah: Black hair. To here. (indicates her shoulders) But tall, yes. (she takes a breath) I must be quick.

Luke: Go to it.

Mariah: He arrived with the prince. His wife -- she was very ill, and she recovered here.

Luke: (narrowing his eyes) How long were they here?

Mariah: They arrived... Thursday, Sir. (Luke nods, frowning. Emily was still sick?) Then... (Mariah swallows hard) The prince left. I do not know why he did not tell his brother. (Luke makes a sound, but forces himself not to react beyond that) But it was... Not met with much acceptance. Then... Mrs. Spencer, she... she was gone.

Luke: Gone.

Mariah: She... disappeared. (Luke feels his stomach drop. "I think I lost, Dad...") He was very upset. He fought with my brother.

Luke: Your brother. Who is that.

Mariah: Josef. He --

Luke: The dock boy. Gotcha.

Mariah: They fought. Terrible. Very loud. He was very upset. (Luke nods, trying to encourage more) Then Mrs. Cassadine, she came up the stairs --

Luke: Helena.

Mariah: Yes. Yes, Mrs. Cassadine.

Luke: When did she show up?

Mariah: I do not know. She was just... there. And she came up the stairs and told me to go down to the kitchen. But ... I liked Mrs. Spencer. She was nice, and... (Mariah looks away, embarrassed. Luke allows a slightly smile)

Luke: I know. Lucky grows on ya. (Mariah flushes, and looks up, staring out at the water and refusing to look at Luke again)

Mariah: I went into the next room. In the dark. I am not sure what they said, but Mr. Spen... Lucky . He left with her.

Luke: He what? Wait... NO. No way in hhhh..... (Luke checks himself) No way he left with the ... Mrs. Cassadine... (the words trails a little, as the image becomes clear to him. Really simple math. Helena had Emily, and Lucky agreed to go with her to get her back. He would have done it himself in a second back when Laura disappeared. He shakes his head hard. History repeats.) Ok. Ok, where did they go?

Mariah: I don't know.

Luke: You don't... No... You gotta have an idea. A hint? A hunch? Come on, give me something here.

Mariah: (Looking back at him) They left on a boat.

Luke: I assumed they didn't flap their wings and fly.

Mariah: No, they... the weather, it was bad. But after it broke, a boat left. Not to the land. (She looks straight in Luke's eyes) It went east. Mrs.Cassadine lives on a boat.

Luke: You are... You realize that you're going to heaven for this.

Mariah: If my brother finds out I told you, I'm going to heaven much sooner than I'd like.

Luke: Won't say a word. Think it's in both our interests to keep this quiet. Got that?

Mariah: I would... I told you because... I am scared for him.

Luke: Yeah, well... no need to be. Not now. (he turns and looks out at the sea) I'm bringing him home.

The Chimera, Nikolas's suite.

There had been times in Nikolas's life -- more than his fair share -- in which he had discovered something so completely unexpected that he was not capable of processing any other information for several minutes... Finding out he had a sister, for instance -- In the hospital in Switzerland, learning why he was really there. The world has blurred in front of him, and he still was uncertain how much time passed between making the discovery and actually acting. It was like he'd fallen into a miniature emotional coma.

But then, he had suspected something. He'd known that something was amiss. And the pieces had connected with ease once he knew the truth.

The same was true of discovering his paternity. A part of him, he'd realized, had always known it was true. It was an earth-shattering shock, but not one that he'd thought was entirely outside the realm of possibility. Not if he was honest with himself.

There was nothing, NOTHING, that could have prepared him for what had just come out of his grandmother's mouth. Nothing anyone had ever said, nothing they had done, nothing they had lead him to believe... not so much as a HINT that she knew. It was incongruent to everything he knew to be true, and his mind reels. All he can hear, as he stares at the cool-eyed woman in front of him, is a high pitched whine.... Some strange noise inside his head, that grows louder and louder, shaking him -- like his brain is glass, and this is going to shatter it. He keeps expecting the scene dissolve in front of him like some sort of surrealist filmmaker's dream sequence. He opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes. Instead the noise in his head just grows louder, turning into a near wail that drives him to cover his ears, belatedly trying to block out what he's just heard.

Helena: I understand, Nikolas. (Nikolas says nothing, just shakes his head) When you can't rely on the liars to lie... the manipulators to manipulate... it makes you question just what you CAN rely on? (The room begins to sway and dip around Nikolas, more violently than it was before, and without encouragement. He can no longer tell if the state he's in is due to his earlier suspicion of his grandmother "doing something" to him, or if it's just the obvious manifestation of finding out that nothing is as he thought it was. He stumbles unsteadily back to the bed and sinks onto it. He lowers his hands and finds that the wailing has stopped. He shakes his head, unable to do anything else. He's vaguely aware of Helena coming to sit beside him. He doesn't have the wear-with-all to resist when she puts her arms around his trembling shoulders.) They told you that this wasn't possible, didn't they? (Helena looks at him with great empathy) I can only imagine. They most likely warned you that I'd slit your throat if I knew. (Nikolas looks over at her, his expression unreadable) Do you see now, Nikolas? Do you see how they work to keep us separated from each other? (the sentence jerks Nikolas back into his body, and he stands up suddenly, pushing himself away from her)

Nik: No.

Helena: Nikolas --

Nik: NO. No. this... This is wrong.

Helena: Wrong? How is it wrong? Nikolas, I know the truth of your paternity. That is an unquestionable fact. I know it's difficult to reconcile with all you've been told, but --

Nik: (desperately) It's a TRICK!

Helena: To what possible end? (Nikolas looks away, his heart pounding in his ears. Good question)

Nik: (Muttering) This is not happening. (he looks up at her accusingly) What are you doing?

Helena: Trying to tell you the truth. Trying to make you see.

Nik: (Unevenly) I... see just fine.

Helena: There are so many things you don't know. Such a great many things --

Nik: Stop SAYING that!

Helena: How can I when you won't consider what I am trying to tell you? What choice do you leave me, Nikolas? Your father hates me. He's never forgiven me for what he believes I took from him.

Nik: You mean his son. (Helena shakes her head, giving Nikolas a look of pity)

Helena: He took himself from you. Don't you see that? He kept your paternity a secret because he was too cowardly -- or perhaps too greedy -- to admit to your true heritage. There was a fortune on the line, Nikolas.

Nik: A fortune he would have inherited! Second son. He was the heir!

Helena: Nikolas, Stefan never wanted to be the Prince! He was far more interested in sleeping on beds of nails in Tibetan Monasteries, and (she makes a dismissive gesture with her hand) studying yoga with east Indian gurus. He was what they call a flake, Nikolas. There is no doubt in my mind, that whatever redeeming qualities my son has, arrived with you.

Nik: (shaking his head) You're not going to make this conform to your lies, Helena. All my father has done since Stavros's death was run the empire. He may as well have been the Prince!

Helena: (indignant) Twenty-five years is not a lifetime. And you know the role you performed is entirely different! You know that your title has always been part of you, whether or not you are of age. This is nothing Stefan has ever desired. He has always been much more Rasputin than Tsar. (Nikolas closes his eyes. There wasn't much debating that).

Nik: (shakily) How long have you known? (Helena smiles wryly)

Helena: I am not a stupid woman, Nikolas. I was there -- in the months leading up to your conception, through Laura's pregnancy, and following your birth. I was always aware of the possibility that you were indeed Stefan's son. I had it confirmed shortly after your birth.

Nik: No. No. No, you're lying.

Helena: If I was the monster they have always told you I am, then why would you be here? Why would I be telling you any of this? (Nikolas turns away, focusing as much as he can on the wall) I do not claim to be perfect, Nikolas. Far from it. But the truth is -- I have long since ceased to care about the blood line. We don't live in the kind of world our ancestors did. We live in the age of enlightenment, Nikolas... We no longer subscribe to the Divine Right of Kings. That said.... (She stands up, smiling at him tenderly) That said, can you really argue that God put you where he did for a reason.

Nik: (backing up) Right now, I wouldn't have any idea where to start guessing God's intentions.

Helena: (Our Lady of Infinite Patience) I know that I am only a Cassadine by marriage. But that is always something I took to heart. It is something that I invested in, like one would invest in a religion. The mythology of what it is to be a Cassadine. But I still never believed that blood was everything. No. It is spirit that matters. Mikkos had that spirit. Stavros had that spirit. And so do you and I.

Nik: (backing up) We are nothing alike.

Helena: No matter what story you listen to, Nikolas -- you are my descendent. (her eyes light up) A Cassadine! A prince!

Nik: No. I'm not the prince. I never was. (Helena gives a small laugh)

Helena: It is entirely possible that Stavros wasn't either. (Nikolas blinks. Then blinks again. He slowly turns back to look at her) There is a certain blind faith in a paternal line, Nikolas. It relies rather heavily -- one could argue naively -- on the unwavering faith of their wives.

Nik: You weren't faithful. (Helena cocks her head to one side)

Helena: Not unwaveringly. (Nikolas exhales. He looks heavenward)

Nik: Why doesn't that surprise me.

Helena: Your Aunt Alexis's mere existence, Nikolas, suggests that I was not entirely unmerited in my actions.

Nik: Who... (he grimaces and leans back against the wall by the door) You're saying that Stavros --

Helena: I'm saying that there was a historical precedent for sleeping with the brother of the prince. (this sinks in. Nikolas brings his gaze back to her. After several moments he speaks)

Nik: (quiet, a monotone) Excuse me. I have a very strong suspicion that I'm going to be ill now.

Helena: (sympathetically) It is a lot to absorb.

Nik: (laughing and shaking his head) Maybe. Maybe... It's hard to tell. (He laughs again, but doesn't move from the wall.) I'm not even certain how much I care, to be frank.

Helena: Nikolas....

Nik: (animatedly) Look, it doesn't matter. Maybe Stavros was the prince... maybe he was fathered by goats --

Helena: Nikolas, don't be crass.

Nik: -- I DON'T CARE! He isn't my father. That appears to be the one thing we all agree on. I'm not the prince! And if this confessional continues, I suppose I'm going to hear that MY father was actually the son of a stable hand, or --

Helena: Stefan is most definitely Mikkos's son. That I know for certain.

Nik: And why, at this point, should I believe you?

Helena: (looking at him, sadly) You have something I have not seen in a great while in a Cassadine, Nikolas. You have a belief -- a faith -- in mankind. (Nikolas snorts, low in his throat, and looks away) You can be disappointed by those around you. It's unique --

Nik: (hissing) It's WEAK. It's naive, it's pathetic and it suggests I have the IQ of a small rodent. (Helena looks, momentarily, stunned. Nikolas leans back against the wall, his heart beating fiercely. What the hell did he just say?)

Helena: You mustn't speak that way.

Nik: Why not? You think I'm ruined, isn't what this is about? You have me trapped here now, Grandmother. You're feeding me all this information, you're ... Plotting for something. You have to be.

Helena: Why? Because that is what they told you?

Nik: Because... that... Because... (he shakes his head, unable to really grab onto a thought) Because it can't be any other way!

Helena: Nikolas! This is exactly what I am trying to convey to you. You are young yet. You have a lifetime ahead of you. But the time has come for you to truly understand your place in this world! And if your father won't share it with you, I must.

Nik: Out of the kindness of your heart.

Helena: No. Out of my own selfishness. (Nikolas absorbs that a moment)

Nik: Out of... what?

Helena: I am not going to deny it. I've been blind, on more than one occasion, to what was going on around me. Look at me! (She gestures to the room) I live on a boat! I was displaced as head of my family by my own son! There is no place on earth that I am welcome, so I stay, like Leto, constantly afloat. I allowed that to happen. That was, without doubt, my greatest folly. (Nikolas looks at her with increasing confusion bordering on wonder.) But I have always wanted the Cassadine name to mean something. I have always wanted to prove the term "prince" as more than a title. And I don't mean I think we should attempt to take over the world. That would be silly. But I do believe that we have a place here. And that the time has come for us to seize it. (Nikolas laughs again, clearly a little unhinged)

Nik: I have a sudden urge to shout "All Hail, Caesar." (Helena frowns disapprovingly)

Helena: When did you become so contemptuous, Nikolas? (Nikolas appears to actually consider this)

Nik: I don't know... Probably when I was forced to spend more hours than I can count in the company of my brother. (Nikolas feels himself flush the moment the words are out of his mouth, hot, then cold.)

Helena: Your brother. That is what you call him now?

Nik: (after a moment) I don't want to talk about Lucky. (something flashes across Helena's face. Nikolas frowns) You have something to say?

Helena: The topic of Luke Spencer's son is something of a minefield.

Nik: (wryly) I'm aware. Partially because no one can speak of him without invoking some explosive-based metaphor.

Helena: I do not know him personally. (Nikolas raises his eye brows)

Nik: You know he's a Spencer. Isn't that enough? (Helena's mouth twists slightly)

Helena: Now we get to the heart of the matter. (Nikolas's expression darkens. Familiar turf)

Nik: Stay away from them.

Helena: (shaking her head) How can you villianize me so thoroughly and then hold up --

Nik: My sister is four years old. And Laura is my mother. I don't care what vendetta you --

Helena: Nikolas!

Nik: (agitated, grasping onto a limb) You know, you can twist everything around me as much as you want, but if you want to know what really shapes what I think of you, Grandmother, you don't have to look any further than my mother. You sealed your fate where I was concerned when you sent her away.

Helena: What would you have me do, Nikolas?

Nik: I'd have you allow me my mother. I was an INFANT!

Helena: I know this is hard for you to accept --

Nik: What? What is it now? How are you going to explain to me that you had my best interests at heart when you sent her away?

Helena: I would think the name "Luke Spencer" would be excuse enough. (Nikolas falters a moment) I know you feel she wasn't given a choice. But she was --

Nik: (turning away) Enough. That's... enough. I don't need to hear this story again. (He closes his eyes) The truth is, you have never been able to stand the idea of me having any woman in my life who wasn't you. You sent my mother away. You exiled tutors you felt I was too close to. And... (He turns back to her) You killed Katherine and Hannah.

Helena: That is pure conjecture and you know it.

Nik: I know no such thing.

Helena: How can you think this... (she closes her eyes) No. I know... I know exactly how you can. You've been poisoned against me your entire life --

Nik: Stop speaking to me like that. Stop trying to dismiss me --

Helena: Nikolas. (She looks up at him, her eyes brimming with tears) Please. (Nikolas is stopped cold. Tears. He hadn't even known she had tear ducts) I know you are hurt, but you have no idea how painful it is for me to hear this.

Nik: (after a moment, swallowing hard) You have no idea how painful it's been for me to go through.

Helena: That's where you're wrong, my darling... I know only too well how much damage has been done. Just how difficult your life has been.

Nik: You can't --

Helena: To be lied to like you have. To be abandoned, continually -- by everyone who ever claimed to love you. (Nikolas flinches) To perpetually have no one to trust, no one to truly confide in, and to play second fiddle to the son your mother had with a man who murders, steals and tosses around idle threats against your life as if it were all a tremendous joke. That's what you are to him, Nikolas. A mistake. A hiccup in an otherwise perfect marriage.

Nik: (raw) I don't care what I am to Luke Spencer.

Helena: I hate to see you disrespected this way. This is not the life I envisioned for you. (Nikolas says nothing, staring hard at the wall. His chest is becoming dangerously tight) I always wanted the world for you, you see? You were such a strong and bright and determined child. You deserved so much more than Stefan has provided you with.

Nik: (unsteadily) Perhaps... (he swallows hard) Perhaps it's not perfect... But my father is the one person who was always there. (He shoots her a quick look) When no one else was. Not even you. (Helena casts out her arms, her expression clearly asking "what could I do?")

Helena: I was prevented! Like your mother. (Nikolas shakes his head, shutting his eyes, trying to knock her words out of his head)

Nik: Your situation was nothing like my mother's.

Helena: Are you certain? Tell me. How old were you when you discovered just what your mother's situation was? (Nikolas falters, then looks away, avoiding her pervasive gaze) Stefan HAS lied to you. You know that. (Nikolas looks over at her, his expression clearly vexed and hurt)

Nik: He doesn't... He --

Helena: Nikolas, I know... you have loyalties. You care for him. You revere him. You were raised to it. And he is devoted, in his way. So much so that he practically lives your life for you!

Nik: That's not how it is.

Helena: He'd lock you in an Ivory Tower given half the chance. (Nikolas pounds his fist against the wall in a sudden burst of anger)

Nik: There is NOTHING he would not do for me!

Helena: Nothing? Except trust you. Tell you the truth. (The words hit hard. Nikolas feels his knees weaken for a moment, but rallies. He is forced to look away from her) Oh... My darling. (He holds up a hand, signaling that she stay where she is. Helena acquiesces, sinking onto the bed again and folding her hands in her lap) You are right, of course. He has done a lot for you. He'd kill for you. He has, in fact. (Nikolas goes cold at her words. He turns to her slowly, his eyes enraged)

Nik: What... did you just say?

Helena: (backtracking) Some say. It's only a theory. I shouldn't have put it that way, I was emotional -- (she looks up at him) Well. You know what the Port Charles Police Department thinks he's guilty of. (Nikolas stiffens. Katharine's murder)

Nik: They're wrong.

Helena: Nikolas something things --

Nik: He had no motive, no desire to see her dead, much less kill her!

Helena: No there I must disagree with you. She was aware of your paternity, that makes her a threat to the Cassadine name. And one thing all Cassadines revere, Nikolas -- is the name.

Nik: Not all of us.

Helena: No? You claim to hate me... you defend my son to me, but I know he is unaware of your current location. You are angry at him too, aren't you?

Nik: I"m not talking to you about this.

Helena: Tell me, if you despise the name "Cassadine" so much -- if you are trying to tell me that you have no true feeling for the legacy... why do you wear that around your neck. (Nikolas looks down to see the medallion lying against his chest. He stares at it a long moment, then brings his hand up and grasps it in his fist. He looks at her, and gives it a slight tug, but the chain does nothing but go taunt. Her eyes seem to dare him, urge him on. After a moment he drops his hand and looks away) You can't do it, can you? You know it's a part of you.

Nik: Don't assume to know my mind.

Helena: I know this, because I know myself. (Nikolas shudders)

Nik: You don't' know anything about me. If you did, you'd never suggest that Katherine was a threat to the Cassadines. She loved my uncle... (he looks back at her) And she loved me.

Helena: Nikolas, half the town had a vendetta against Katherine. There was a reason for that -- She was dangerous. Did you know that she TOLD me that she had discovered your paternity? We discussed it at length the night before I left.

Nik: You're... (he stops short of saying she's lying. It seems pointless to say. He clears his throat) Katherine wouldn't --

Helena: She valued you, Nikolas... don't misunderstand what I'm trying to tell you. You were very dear to her, I'm certain. But the fact of the matter is... you were her stepson. A relation by marriage. Did you think she'd be more loyal to you than your own blood has been? (Nikolas shakes his head, his throat having closed on him) More loyal to you than the child she was carrying? (The words take a few moments to truly hit Nikolas)

Nik: She was... what?

Helena: (looking aghast) Oh, dear. You didn't know.

Nik: That's.... That can't -- No.

Helena: It was why she investigated your medical file. Why else would she have suddenly started nosing about in your history? (Nikolas just stares at her) You realize what that discovery meant for her. (Nikolas turns away, the blood draining from his face. He presses his face into the wood paneling of the wall)

Nik: Don't.

Helena: You weren't the heir. Stefan was. And a legitimate son --

Nik: (anguished) DON'T! (he spins around) Don't. I don't want to hear anymore.

Helena: I'm so sorry --

Nik: HE LOVED KATHERINE!

Helena: The only woman he ever loved was your mother. And look what he's done to her!

Nik: I ... I can't -- he would NEVER hurt her. Not if she carried his child.

Helena: This was discovered posthumously! I never suggested for a moment than any part of his grief was not sincere. (A flicker passes across Nikolas's face. Stefan told him the grief was faked... but it couldn't' have been, not all of it, not... He shakes his head. God, nothing makes sense. Or it all suddenly makes too much sense) Katherine told me. But she said she hadn't told him yet. All he knew was that she was threatening the world he'd built for you. Who knows what would have occurred had he known... A son born in marriage... a chance to start over. To repair the damage he'd done with you.

Nik: (having difficulty breathing) I... he...

Helena: You've thought it, haven't you? You've entertained the possibility. (Nikolas closes his eyes. He had. He'd even asked.) I was already out of the country.

Nik: No. You left the next day.

Helena: Is that what Stefan told you? (Nikolas says nothing) Nikolas... I am the perfect scapegoat for ever atrocity you father has ever committed. Perhaps I did send Laura away -- out of rage and guilt -- and genuine fear for your safety. Luke Spencer had cost me a husband AND a son. But I was not the one who kept her away from you for sixteen years. Do you honestly believe that he did that out of a sincere doubt of your safety? No. He held you here, away from her, out of hurt feelings. (a definitive hint of a sneer moves into Helena's voice) Because she had hurt him, and you were the only tool he had to hurt her.)

Nik: (sharply) Stop! Just for a minute, god... Just shut up! (Helena falls immediately silent. The quiet stretches out, seconds ticking by like hours, as Nikolas's head spins. A part of him, a very young part, is screaming inside of him. He holds the wall, trying to remain steady, to convince himself that everything is not slowly falling apart around him. His brain feels incredibly fuzzy. Like he's not certain what is real anymore. All he knows for sure is that ever part of him is pumping with... adrenaline? Something. Running through him and crossing all his wires. He feels sick. He feels dizzy. And he feels like, at any moment, he's going to snap link a twig, and god knows what will happen then.)

Nik: (suddenly) I'm... I need water.

Helena: I'll have some brought --

Nik: No! (He stops, looking around the room, dazed) No... No, I changed my mind.

Helena: Nikolas, you clearly need some rest. You've had a terrible shock.

Nik: (shaking his head firmly) No. Nope. I can handle it.

Helena: (peering at him) Are you certain? Come here. (She holds out her hand) At least sit down.

Nik: I'm fine here. (Helena looks at him, cocking her head to one side. Her hand is steady as a rock. He looks down, raising his own hand and watching in detached fascination at the ferocity with which it is shaking. He's surprised when his grandmother reaches out and takes the hand. He looks at her oddly, then allows her to pull him towards the bed. He sits on the bed, not noticing particularly that Helena is still holding his hand in both of hers, resting it in her lap. Nikolas stares back at the wall he was just leaning on, and tries to summon the image he's used to keep him going. He closes his eyes and it flashes in front of him, clear as day. Opening the door to Hannah's' apartment and seeing them. Hannah pale and unconscious, blood spreading out beneath her and staining the cream colored carpet. And Lucky... Holding her in his arms and looking up at him. The color had drained from Lucky's face at the sight of him... and Nikolas had clearly seen a flash of panic in his eyes... He blinks his eyes open, and the image takes a moment to fade, dissolving into the dark mahogany that lines the walls of the cabin. Helena is gently stroking the back of his hand)

Helena: There is something else we must speak of.

Nik: Hannah. (He spits the word out, pulling his hand away from her, like one final last ditch attempt to pull himself back from the brink. He has no idea what is real anymore. Not if any of what she says is true. And even if it's not... she knows. She knows, and he isn't dead. It makes no sense to him.)

Helena: You think I did it. (Nikolas says nothing. He doesn't feel as if he's in the room anymore... rather floating above it, watching this unfold) Corrine was a complicated woman, Nikolas. And true, I knew some details about her. But she had many aliases in between leaving the United States and coming to my notice. Tell me... did she tell you how she came to be in my service? (Nikolas blinks again, his eyes stinging a little. He wants her to leave... Suddenly none of it seems to matter. He's tired and he doesn't want to hear anymore. But the words don't come from his lips.) She knew about Emily. She sought ME out. I'm sure she didn't divulge that part, did she? She told me she had a connection to the Spencer family and that she could be of some use to me.

Nik: Lies. (Nikolas's voice is surprisingly small. Helena feels adrenaline surge through her veins. He's hers. He is finally hers if she just plays this last part correctly)

Helena: Are you certain? Nikolas, she had not gone by the name of Corrine Gibbons for nearly ten years when I first encountered her. How would I have ever contacted her without her coming out of hiding? (Nikolas doesn't answer -- can't answer. He has no idea.) Tell me -- Was she always up front with you? Did she tell you the truth? Without fail?

Nik: (voice shaking a little) I knew her.

Helena: Nikolas... darling. (She raises his hand to her face and rests her cheek against it) You knew what she wanted you to know. (Nikolas closes his eyes)

Nik: (in a whisper) Why can't you just let me go? (Helena chooses to ignore this)

Helena: There is something I want you to see. (Helena gets up, leaving Nikolas reeling on the edge of the bed. She moves to the cabinet at the far side of the room and opens up the doors, revealing a large television screen. She opens a drawer beneath it and pulls out a file folder. She turns and looks back to see Nikolas is leaning forward, his head in his hands. All for the best, she tells herself. This is a rescue mission. Deprogramming has never been an easy task. She stands very still, her hands in front of her) Nikolas. (Nikolas jerks, suddenly, as if surprised to hear a voice. He looks over at her, blearily) I have a gift for you. (She shows him the folder. Nikolas looks at it impassively. She opens it and opens a red covered report, roughly thirty pages in length and holds it out to him) This... is the story of a life. Everything I could discover about your friend, Corrine. Every story, every detail she glossed over, every secret she kept. In these pages is the real woman. The answer to who she really was. Would you like to see it? (Nikolas stares at her. He looks like a starving man being offered a full course meal. She walks towards him, holding it out to him. He stares at it as if it might vanish into thin air. A piece of her. A part of the woman who left him without anything but a box of ashes and an impulsively burned letter for remembrance. He reaches out and takes it. Helena steps back, watching him carefully. Nikolas opens the report and stops dead at an 8 x 10 picture of Hannah. Younger... Maybe the age he is now. She's smiling coyly, her head cocked. Flirting with the photographer.) Helena: There are pictures. One of her many boyfriends thought she had modeling potential or some such... thing. There is a section regarding him, he's of some importance -- Oliver Taggliati. (Nikolas pauses at the name. After a moment, he can't resist. He turns the page and starts to sort through the contents -- though it's difficult. Words swim in front of his eyes, he can't make sense of commonplace words like "and" "though" and "in" -- simple sentence are rendered incomprehensible. Still. He can get the general information. The childhood of not much note. Then the university. A scandal -- caught in a professor's bedroom by his wife, who apparently flew into a jealous rage. There was a newspaper article depicting her as an unhinged student, obsessed with her Prof. Two accompanying photos -- one a high school year book picture, the other of her looking terrified and harassed, clearly taken just after the incident. This is why she changed her name, he realizes. This is when she let Corrine die.

There are a few more pages depicting the mess in Boston. And then New York. There is another newspaper article - Oliver Taggliatti, night club owner. Like Luke, he thinks mildly. Standing there, holding a glass in one hand, the other hand resting possessively on the hip of... Corrine. He can't put the name Hannah on the girl standing there. She looks a thousand miles away from the student on the previous pages. She looks... trashy. Vacant. A girl he wouldn't have looked at twice, dismissing as an empty vessel. Scantly dressed, looking away from the camera as if something far more exciting is happening over the photographer's shoulder. Oliver looks straight into the lens, though. And smirks. Nikolas feels ill. He becomes aware of Helena, sitting next to him again. He turns the page and stops short at what he sees. A mug shot. Hannah/Corrine/Sophie whoever the hell this is... looking both dazed and belligerent, a pouty expression on her lips. Her eyes are dark and her hair messed. Same hair. Falling in tangled tendrils, the way it always did when it was out of order -- when she woke up in the morning, or when they had been having some terrible fight. Or after they made love... the hair he knew. But the girl?)

Helena: (gently) It was an assault charge. She and another woman got into a fight at one of her gentleman friend's establishments. Then, when the police arrived, she was arrested and searched -- and charge with possession of cocaine. (Nikolas is speechless. He has no idea how to even begin to argue with this.) She had a past, Nikolas.

Nik: Everyone has a past.

Helena: Yes. And hers came back to haunt her. (Nikolas closes the folder. He can't look at more. His mind is too full as it is)

Nik: I loved her.

Helena: I know. And... Nikolas. (She pauses. Waits. Finally, Nikolas looks over at her) She loved you, too. (Nikolas's eyes fill with tears and he looks away, brushing at his eyes impatiently with the back of his hand)

Nik: I've had enough.

Helena: I'm sure she cared as much for you as she did for the Taggliatti fellow. They appear to be very... connected. (Nikolas swallows hard. "You were my first love" her letter had said. He believed it. He needed to believe it) -- Until she betrayed him, that is. (Nikolas cringes.)

Nik: I don't care about Oliver --

Helena; No, but you care about Lucky, don't you? (Nikolas's head snaps up)

Nik: I told you I didn't want to talk about --

Helena: She stole from Oliver. Did she tell you that? (Nikolas says nothing. No, Helena thinks, the little whore kept her OWN secrets quite a bit better than she'd kept the ones she was paid to) After he paid her bail? She stole a substantial about of money and most of his... (she makes a face as if this is very distasteful to her) He dealt drugs, you see. On a rather significant scale. She took everything she could get her hands on and sold it to a rival -- a man she was, apparently, sharing a bed with in preparation for her escape. This money lasted her quite awhile. Bought her another identity in Europe, and paid for her lifestyle -- living alone, free of all responsibility, and never making any REAL ties. Never allowing herself to settle anywhere. It's a very clear pattern, if you read the rest of the report -- (Nikolas tosses it across the room)

Nik: I don't need to. (Helena nods. After a moment, she continues)

Helena: Mr. Taggliati was displeased by this. As you can imagine. (Nikolas flashes on the bar in New York. The night before he left for Rome. The bartender had made it clear -- Oliver would love to know where Sophie Clark was).

Nik: I don't want to imagine anything.

Helena: He was a man with... contacts? He made it known. If anyone ever found her, he wanted her to be executed. He'd pay well. (She smiles slightly) He was, apparently, a proud man. He did not wish to be made a fool of. And he could, it seems, hold a grudge for an astonishingly long time. But... time passes, and priorities change. She was eventually put aside. Until, of course, fate intervened. (Nikolas looks over at her, his expression blank.)

Nik: Is that me?

Helena: No, dearest. That was Jacob. He was a friend of Oliver. And attempting to make an inroad, it would seem, with Jason Morgan. He saw Corrine, working at an establishment owned by Morgan himself, and made a connection. Oliver was interested enough to make a very advantageous arrangement with Mr. Morgan -- I have no idea what the details were, but New York is a world unto itself. One can only imagine it was extremely advantageous to him. He's a business man, after all. (Helena's mouth twists) Isn't that what he says when young men get shot in his presence? The price of doing business?

Nik: Hannah was Emily Quartermaine's aunt --

Helena: Not that she was ever embraced as such. Did Emily's family even know? (Nikolas says nothing) My understanding is that Hannah's relation to Emily proved to be a challenge... That was what that car accident was about. Taggliatti warning Morgan that he wasn't fooling around. He wanted the woman dead, and that if he was shown this gesture of loyalty... (Helena makes a gesture indicating that the rest follows naturally. Nikolas just stares at her)

Nik: Did you know --

Helena: No. No, of course not. Since your (she gestures to her throat) Incident, I have made a point not to let anything that even smacks of that world near the Cassadines. That is a Spencer world, I have no part in it.

Nik: Then how --

Helena: Do you think I take kindly to having my people disposed of? I do not let such things go unnoticed. It was not hard to connect the dots once I tried.

Nik: And Jacob.

Helena: Was found floating in the Port Charles River the morning after you left town.

Nik: So you are a murderess.

Helena: Ridding the world of a parasite like Jacob was not murder. It was extermination. (Nikolas looks away. She puts her hand on his shoulder, and leans in, her breath on his neck) Nikolas. Is that not what you want? To see the people who killed her suffer? To see them meet the same fate she did?

Nik: (barely audible) Yes.

Helena: (smiles, leans her chin on his shoulder) He lead her to her death. You see? He made her a bargaining chip in a deal. Something Morgan would do for what the Tagallatis could do for him. And in turn, Morgan used her as a way of binding his prodigy to him. Of guaranteeing a future. (Nikolas suddenly gets up and walks a few steps away, as if suddenly possessed. He stops, breathing hard, then turns back to her. His eyes look pleading, but he does not speak. Helena stands in front of him, hands clasped in front of her, looking very contrite.) I will admit my guilt in as much as I brought her to that place. But it was her will -- and her actions -- that lead to this. You mustn't blame yourself.

Nik: Or you

Helena: I can back up what I tell you. ALL that I have told you here today, the lies, the secrets... all of it. It can be substantiated. (Nikolas just stares at her) You know who the prodigy was, do you not? (Nikolas nods, turning his head away)

Nik: Lucky. (Helena smiles, unseen by Nikolas)

Helena: A warrant has been issued for his arrest. The police have charged him. (Nikolas says nothing) There are facts -- things you can see, things you can look at for yourself and decide what you wish to believe. But you know what you've seen. You know what you feel. (Nikolas leans down and picks up the fallen folder. He opens it again to Hannah's picture, staring at it as Helena continues to speak) You know the anger. You know the unfairness of it all. You know that you deserve more than this. (Nikolas exhales shakily. He stares at the light reflecting off the gloss on the picture. Her eyes... he tilts the picture towards him. It's like she's looking at him... though he can't remember her smiling like this. Not when she knew him. He didn't bring her much to smile about. He closes his eyes, and sees that image again... her lying white in a pool of blood. And Lucky looking at him. With that look in his eyes... He'd never asked what that look meant.) Nikolas... (Helena leans forward, her voice low and soothing) Nikolas, please look at me. (Nikolas opens his eyes, raising them to her. He blinks and tears escape, dropping, one splashing on the picture. He shakes his head. He makes an effort to speak, but nothing comes out. Helena rises to her feet and rushes to him, enveloping him in her arms. In exhaustion, Nikolas leans against her, putting his head on her shoulder. He can't stop this. He's been holding all of it in for far too long, trying not thing think about it, trying not to ask the questions. There are still questions, but right now all he can feel is the pain. Raw and sharp, ripping at him, attacking him from the inside and making him crumble. A hand comes up, without Nikolas giving it any thought, and grabs Helena's shoulder. He shudders and lets out a choking sob. Helena's expression is honestly pained as she feels her grandson shake against her. Damn them. Damn then all for doing this to him.) I know... Oh, my darling. I know. I know what it is to be left behind. Hmm? You miss her terribly. (Nikolas responds by beginning to shake more violently. Helena feels him begin to sink, and, unable to hold his weight, she sinks with him down onto her knees, still holding him tightly, her hand stroking his hair) There has been too much loss, and you have taken it the way your father taught you to. Without words, without anger, with nothing but heavy-hearted acceptance. But it does not have to be that way. You are a Cassadine, and you do not live by the rules subscribed to you. You find the rules yourself. You are not to answer to common men! (Helena's expression hardens, her eyes staring straight ahead.) You do not go to public schools, volunteer at hospitals... your place is above all of them! And it is time for you to take it. All that has happened to you... all you have experienced. It has made you stronger than most men. And your legacy makes you untouchable. You have power beyond the wildest dreams of Kings! Do you see that? (Nikolas pulls back, trying to catch his breath. He looks dazed, overwhelmed. She smiles at him. He's come around, she realizes. Soon there will be no turning back) You have tried to live by their rules and they have done nothing but hold you in contempt. To judge you by your title, by the actions of people who died before you were even born. Where has that gotten you? (She smiles, putting a hand to his shoulder. Nikolas does not pull away, or tense. He just looks at her) but you see.... You see now. That I am not perfect. And no, I am not an addle-minded woman who knits sweaters and gives chocolates to children. I have never been a traditionalist. But. (she lifts her chin) I am strong. Like you are strong. And I am powerful -- like you are powerful. You say you are weak? No. You simply haven't accepted who you are. I can show you how to use your power, Nikolas. I can show you how to stop them all from every hurting you again. I can give you everything you ever desired, and you will know -- ALWAYS know -- that no matter what you feel about my actions.... Nikolas I am the one who didn't lie to you. I am the one who trusted you, valued you, and told you the truth. You will always know where you stand. My precious, precious boy... My love. (Nikolas looks at her, having trouble focusing. he nods, looking away from her a moment. )

Nik: When.... (his voice fades away. Helena leans forward, putting a hand to his face, brining his eyes back to her)

Helena: Yes? Please... finish what you were going to say.

Nik: (distantly, strangely calm) When I first saw what the Spencers were... I saw a family. Traditional. Normal. Mother, father, children. (he looks at her) I hated them for having it. For having what I didn't. For denying me. (Helena nods, and takes his hand)

Helena: My dear.

Nik: But I don't... I don't' have to stand on the sidelines and wait for something that will never come. (he looks at her) Do I?

Helena: No. never! You do not need the Spencers -- you never have. What have they ever brought you but pain? (Nikolas nods slowly. He wipes his eyes with the back of his hand and pulls in a long breath. He waits a moment, then turns and looks back at her. The pain is gone from his eyes. He looks cold. Businesslike.)

Nik: Tell me. Tell me everything you know about Lucky. Tell me why the police want him. (Helena gives a slow smile)

Helena: Gladly.

Cassadine Compound, South Dock.

After a relatively short search, Luke has found a boat at a secondary and unguarded dock... Ok, something that was probably once a boat -- it has the trappings, though the motor looks nearly rusted out. It's probably going to sink five minutes out to sea, but if he gets picky, time will waste -- and he is NOT going to attract the attention of Dock Boy. And attention is the last thing he needs. He's not going five rounds with anyone over anything -- all that matters right now is that Lucky is out there. Somewhere. And every moment he's not moving closer to him, he's getting farther away. Luke knows there is panic in him -- stirring in his gut, waiting for any excuse to erupt. But there is no time. He has to focus, he has to get out of this place, and he has to find his son. Luke leans over the motor again, and continues to fiddle, trying to get the damn thing to start.

Alexis: What the hell are you doing? (Luke groans, and looks over at her. He was hoping to avoid this. Once Alexis finds something out, she's going to insist on telling Uncle Stiff, and then it's just one big ego-wrestling match until everyone's dead. He glances over at Alexis, and makes a face)

Luke: Finished you're briefing at the palace?

Alexis: Luke... you do realize that you're not a prisoner here, right? That all you have to do if you want to leave is TELL someone. (she looks a bit hopeful) Is that it? Do you want to go home? We could arrange that. Really, just say the word.

Luke: I want a boat.

Alexis: Apparently.

Luke: (frustrated) Natash -- (he stops, realizing something. A smile spreads across his face) Alexis.

Alexis: (Stepping back) What did you just call me? (It's took late. Luke has started to channel all his energy into 'charm')

Luke: Alexis the Great.... You wanna hop aboard?

Alexis: Said the spider to the fly.... What are you up to now?

Luke: (looking around the boat.) Not a thing.

Alexis: Luke, that statement has the worth of eleven different types of animal excrement.

Luke: (gathering up his things) Watch it, woman. You're getting a high class potty mouth there.

Alexis: There is much about my mouth you haven't yet experienced, Luke.

Luke: (stops messing with the boat and looks up at her) I don't doubt that... (Alexis flushes)

Alexis: God, LUKE!

Luke: Sorry. (hops out of the boat) But I don't have time to explore that statement. Gotta make like a banana and split -- (he grabs her arm) You're coming with me.

Alexis: Charming. (She pulls her arm away) WHAT are you doing, and why are you suddenly making puns? What happened to your mood? Wasn't there a rain cloud following you around about five minutes ago? Luke: Sudden infusion of hope. Beam from heaven came down and brought me to my senses. Showed me the light, as it were.

Alexis: Which is?

Luke: I'm Luke Spencer. Cassadine Kryptonite with legs. No way in hell am I giving up that title.

Alexis: I hate to break it to you, but no one has EVER called you that, to the best of my knowledge.

Luke: Ah. But they will! Come on and I'll let you ride next to me on the float at the parade. (he grabs her arm again and pulls her towards the docks -- where the GOOD boats are)

Alexis: WHAT are you trying to do?

Luke: Trying to leave. And you're coming with me.

Alexis: Why, exactly, am I doing that?

Luke: Because I got something to tell you.

Alexis: I'm listening.

Luke: Nope. Gotta tell you on the boat.

Alexis: Why is that?

Luke: (turning back to her, the charming veneer smashing) Because! I gotta go do something. And I gotta do it fast. And the fastest way for a Spencer to get a boat on Cassadine Island is to have a Cassadine with him. OTHERWISE I end up with that bucket of bolts over there! No, you wanna give me a hard time, or you wanna help me -- and maybe that brother of yours you're so damned attached to out, or what?

Alexis: (narrowing her eyes) Am I going to like this? (Luke folds his arms and shakes his head sternly)

Luke: I'm not tipping my hand, Darlin'. You get me a boat, we'll talk. (Alexis gives him an exasperated look)

Alexis: You know... I have nothing against Lucky. I even LIKE Emily --

Luke: Then come on, sweetheart, let's get a boat.

Alexis: Does this have anything to do with Nikolas?

Luke: (annoyed) YES! Yes, it does. Doesn't everything? Isn't that kid the reason the sun rises and SETS on all of us? COME ON! I gotta go find something.

Alexis: What are you looking for?

Luke: I'll know it when it I see it.

Alexis: But... you gotta do this fast.

Luke: (looking at his watch) Getting more dire by the second, counselor.

Alexis: (calculated) Are you sure you want a boat?

Luke: Good GOD woman, are you TRYING to drive me insane?

Alexis: (wryly) Now THAT would be a pointless occupation -- Are you sure you want a boat?

Luke: I WANT A GOD DAMNED BOAT!

Alexis: Ok. Ok! I hear you. (Luke turns, grabbing her arm and pulling her up the dock) I just thought perhaps you'd rather take the helicopter. (Luke stops dead)

Luke: The what?

Alexis: (smiling slightly) What are we looking for, Luke?

Luke: You know how to fly a helicopter?

Alexis: I know a GREAT many things.

Luke: Good. GREAT! Then I'll tell you the rest of it in the sky. Let's go! (he turns and starts up the hill. Alexis calls after him)

Alexis: Hey! LUKE! (Luke looks back) Am I going to be a hero?

Luke: (laughing, almost manic) All about the glory, huh? What kind of Cassadine are you?

Alexis: Answer the question.

Luke: You'll be my hero! (Luke turns and keeps walking up the hill back to the house. Alexis looks over her shoulder and sighs)

Alexis: Wonderful. Just what I've always aspired to.

The Formal Garden, East Side of the house

Mariah stands in front of a large rose bush, sorting through the branches, trying to find the premium blossoms. Ordered to cut flowers, though her hands are shaking. Ordered to make a dinner for people she has been warned against her whole life. People she just opted to help. She couldn't explain why. She had known as her mouth moved that she was going to regret it. But somehow she couldn't forget what she'd heard the night before. She'd been unable to let Lucky Spencer alone, and she'd heard things through that door before her brother had arrived that stopped her heart. Meeting Spencers -- real live breathing ones -- had humanized them for her. And once that happened, there was no way she could allow what was happening to continue. Not if she wanted to live with herself.

Distracted, Mariah's hand slips and she stabs herself hard with the thorns from a rose she has just cut from the bush. She sucks in her breath and drop the clippers to the grass examining the wound. She is entirely unprepared to feel a hand grip her elbow, jerking her harshly around to face him.

Josef: Hurt yourself, sister?