Chapter Two Hundred Sixteen:
Everything You've Done Wrong

Emily's room, Athens Hospital

Emily lies on the bed, her knees tucked up to her chest, staring at the opposite wall. She's been crying -- so much for numb -- and her head is beginning to pound. That really wasn't a conversation she was going to go after again for a long, long time. She feels sick with apprehension, second guessing herself. He had to know, she tells herself, wiping the tracks of the already shed tears. That's what it comes down to. He just had to know. She hears the noise of someone entering her room. She doesn't need to turn to find out who it is -- she knows. She hears him sit in the chair previously occupied by Luke Spencer. She lets out a shaky breath, then rolls over onto her back and looks over at him. He nods to her.

Jason: Hey.

Em: Hi.

Jason: You Ok?

Em: (nodding) No.

Jason: (leaning forward) Can I get you anything?

Em: I think... (she exhales) A phone.

Jason: You sure?

Em: Yeah. (She sits up) Yeah, I am.

Nikolas's Room, Athens Hospital

Lucky's words hanging the air between the two brothers, while they both wait for the other shoe to drop. Nothing happens. Lucky laughs slightly, and looks away first. He puts a hand over his abdomen, and shakes his head.

Lucky: Huh. I thought that would hurt a bit more. (Nikolas feels like he's in an alternate reality. Maybe he should nearly shoot Lucky more often. )

Nik: I didn't answer your question. (Lucky laughs again, though it's a breathy and insubstantial sound, like someone who's just downed a shot of hard liquor)

Lucky: Yeah, I noticed. (Nikolas drowns the water remaining in the glass, then puts it down on the bedside table with a hard thunk.)

Nik: You know, when I met you... I figured you had two settings. Obnoxious, and homicidal. (Lucky's hand, still over his stomach, contracts into a fist) But... We moved in the same circles, and sometimes I'd see you with Emily, or Liz, or Sarah -- They'd almost always be laughing, having fun... and I tried to figure out how anyone could spend time with you and not be at least a little bit wary.

Lucky: I didn't push everyone I knew down a flight of stairs, Nik.

Nik: Yeah, I know. I was special.

Lucky: (shrugging) Some would say you earned it.

Nik: Maybe. (Lucky furrows his brow, looking quite determinedly at the ground)

Lucky: You're still not saying anything, Cassadine. (Nikolas closes his eyes. No, he's not...)

Nik: Truth? (he opens them and looks at Lucky) Cold hard truth? Or are you gonna bolt on me if I do that? (Lucky sucks on his bottom lip, appearing to give that some pretty serious thought)

Lucky: (quietly) No. No, I don't think I am.

Nik: Ok. (He lets out his breath. He can't believe he's talking about this. He doesn't know where to start) See... I... I'm not good with people. (Lucky laughs sharply, then looks up at him)

Lucky: You're kidding, right? You have half the town of Port Charles wrapped around your princely little finger.

Nik: Key word -- Prince. (Lucky shakes his head, dismissing that)

Lucky: No. No way. My aunt Bobbie couldn't care less about that. And she thinks you're proof of a benevolent God. And I... I'm a big mess.

Nik: Lucky.

Lucky: (a little unevenly) You notice how she named her son Lucas? It's kinda like... The first namesake's not working out so well, so she was gonna give it her own shot. (he looks at Nikolas, clearly a little disturbed by the kind of stuff that he's letting come out of his mouth) I thought you were going with truth.

Nik: I don't.. Fit in with people, Lucky. I make them fit around me. Which they do, because I'm a prince, and I'm a Cassadine, or "Oh, look at him, he's had such a rough life". It's all about being the poor little rich kid. So... I meet someone who's not going to just bend to fit into my universe... I don't really know... how... (Nikolas groans) See, I'm not even doing this very well. (He looks at Lucky directly) I'm not good at making friends. Ok? I'm not good at talking to people who don't act like I'm used to. You were pretty much an enigma to me. And you -- I'm not going to change my mind about this, Lucky -- You're a brat. You're defensive, and you're sarcastic, and you're not the easiest guy to just TALK to. Not for me, at least.

Lucky: Gee, I'm really glad I asked you about this, Nik.

Nik: STOP! Don't... Don't, just listen to me.

Lucky: It would help if you were going to start making sense sometime soon. (Nik points a finger at Lucky)

Nik: See? There you go again. What do you want me to say, Lucky? Why did I push you away? Because I wanted to see if you'd do anything about it. There. Pathetic, huh? I didn't know how to say anything to you, I didn't know how to take a chance and ask you what was really going on... And everyone around me kept telling me that you were just going to cause me more trouble, just going to... Make things worse. And I TRIED to get you to say something -- anything -- to let me know that the rest of them were wrong. That everything Sarah and Katherine were saying was wrong. And instead, I ended up just telling you to go away. And ... You did. (Lucky flinches. He runs a hand through his hair quickly)

Lucky: Ok. (Nikolas blinks. Ok? He looks down at his hands, and a glint of light on metal catches his eye. He looks down and sees the medallion that slipped out of his hand while he was sleeping. He knows immediately that Lucky must have put it there. Hung onto it, like he said he would. Nikolas reaches out, numb, and picks it up. He looks down at it)

Nik: (softly) I'm sorry doesn't really cut it, does it?

Lucky: (trying to shrug it off) It's ancient history, man. Doesn't really have anything to do with what's going on now. (Nikolas closes his hand over the medallion)

Nik: Then why are we talking about it?

Lucky: Addicted to agony? (He smiles a bit unsuccessfully. There's a hard ache in his gut, and the feeling is making him entirely uncomfortable. He needs to get out of here. Yet. He stays... and Stefan Cassadine conveniently hasn't come back. He's beginning to wish he would. Lucky lets out a long breath) You're the one who said it. Us being brothers... Like "real" brothers. Burned up a long time ago. (Lucky raises his head and looks over at Nikolas. His eyes are dark and unreadable. Nikolas feels his gut contract like a fist) So why go through it all again?

Nik: (after a long silence) Lulu.

Lucky: Yeah. Lulu. (Lucky puts his head back, looking up at the ceiling) The old standby.

Nik: I don't want to go back to fighting with you every time we have to deal with each other.

Lucky: So we won't. (he shrugs) No big deal. We can stand to be in the same room together. We've proved that. Anything else... (Lucky bows his head) Well. I guess there isn't anything else, is there? (Nikolas feels like he's just been punched in the gut. Christ. For a moment there, he thought they weren't going to end up here. But... he's known all along -- ever since he decided to take care of Helena himself -- that this would be the end. He... Just expected it to be longer. He licks his lips absently, and shakes his head)

Nik: No. I guess that's it.

Lucky: Yeah. I guess so. (Nikolas winces, slightly)

Nik: How's Emily?

Lucky: She's fine.

Nik: I didn't mean for her to get hurt.

Lucky: I know.

Nik: But she did.

Lucky: (swallowing) Yeah.

Nik: I'm sorry.

Lucky: Ok.

Nik: I am.

Lucky: I heard you. (Lucky shifts his weight, and clears his throat hard. It's so tight he can barely breathe. His heart is pounding hard in his chest. Emily... would be a good place to be right now. If he could make himself move.)

Nik: It's not enough, is it? (Lucky turns his head and looks at Nikolas again. His eyes are clear now -- blue and oddly washed out.) I mean.... Mom. (He lets out his breath) And then there's Emily... (He shakes his head) You know, it's just possible that it'll be better for everyone if we just stay the hell away from each other.

Nik: I didn't know. I thought you were safe. (Lucky wants to say something. He's got a lot of things he could say. He could say "but we weren't". He could say "No, Nik. It's not enough, and if you do anything that stupid again I will personally kick your ass". Or he could say "Next time, talk to me first". But he says nothing. He knows he wouldn't be able to safely make anything come out of his mouth. One syllable, this could get very messy. So instead he just shakes his head and turns his back. Nikolas watches Lucky, then looks down at his hand again. He opens his fist and looks down at the medallion. He leans back against the headboard and stares at it.) So what happens now...? (The question is exactly what Lucky needs. He coughs, forcing the lump in his throat down, and turns partially back and manages a weak shrug)

Lucky: Still a lot going on. (he winces) Invasion of the Adults, for starters. (Nikolas nods, running a hand through his hair. Pinpricks of perspiration are appearing along his hairline. His stomach has contracted into a huge knot. He wants out of here. Now. He wants to go back to sleep. That was working out a lot better than this.)

Nik: What do they know?

Lucky: (over-annunciating) Not much.

Nik: About Helena --

Lucky: She's dead.

Nik: And they know --

Lucky: I figured I'd wait for you to wake up, then we'd get our stories straight.

Nik: So they don't know who did it.

Lucky: They've all made an educated guess.

Nik: (feeling sick) They think YOU did it?

Lucky: (turning back completely) It's not that crazy an idea.

Nik: Lucky...

Lucky: Up to you. We can keep quiet, or we can say something. Or you can. I don't really care either way.

Nik: You don't care if people think you're a murderer?

Lucky: They already do.

Nik: Lucky -- what I ... What I said in that room, that was for Helena --

Lucky: (shrugs) Yeah. I figured.

Nik: I can't let you do that.

Lucky: Ok.

Nik: Lucky -- Come on. (Lucky looks at him oddly)

Lucky: I'm not fighting with you.

Nik: You can't take the blame.

Lucky: I'm not taking anything. I'm giving you a choice. That's all. (Nikolas stares at him. He can feel the bile rising in his throat. He can feel a strange panic, something that must have been lying under everything else. He shakes his head hard.)

Nik: I don't want a choice.

Lucky: Then don't make one.

Nik: Lucky...

Lucky: What? (Nikolas's whole body suddenly contracts. Lucky is watching him. He moves to Nikolas, without thinking about it) What? What is it?

Nik: (paling) Oh, God....

Lucky: Nik? (Lucky crosses back to him, pushing the chair out of his way) Come on. What's going on?

Nik: Nothing.

Lucky: (annoyed) You're going to start lying to me again already? (Nikolas looks at Lucky sharply)

Nik: I haven't been lying to you.

Lucky: (narrowing his eyes) One word. Mediros. (Nikolas frowns at him, then realizes what Lucky's saying)

Nik: White lie.

Lucky: Maybe in a parallel universe. (Lucky can feel himself getting annoyed. He grabs onto it, letting it cover up every other emotion swirling around in him that he doesn't know what to do with) You told me the boat belonged to some family on another island -- you knew damn well it was your Grandmother's boat. So come on. Spill.

Nik: This isn't like that.

Lucky: Yeah, you look like you just saw a ghost. But it's nothing, huh?

Nik: (tense) Look. You said it yourself, Ok? You can't... There's gonna be fallout here. And I've been out of it for two days, some of it comes back to me in waves. (He tries to shake it off, unconvincingly) I'll be fine.

Lucky: You're talking about Helena. (Nikolas laughs slightly, a high pitched sound. He crosses his arms across his chest)

Nik: I'll get over it.

Lucky: (wryly) Sure you will.

Nik: I'm not quite as fragile as you think I am. (Lucky groans)

Lucky: You just shot your Grandmother in cold blood. After she'd drugged you and spent some time pushing all your emotional buttons--

Nik: How do you know that?

Lucky: Educated guess. (Nikolas looks away from him. He feels a pull -- a very strong pull -- to talk to Lucky about this. He knows it's stupid. They just seemed to agree that they aren't much of anything to each other. Brothers, sure. But aside from that strange linking of blood... Not much else. Sure as hell not confidants. And still. He looks up at his brother).

Nik: I just... Remembered something.

Lucky: What?

Nik: (finally) A dream. Ok? A dream. That's it.

Lucky: What about it?

Nik: You're really pushy, you know that?

Lucky: Obnoxious or homicidal -- take your pick, Nikolas. (Nikolas laughs sharply and looks away. Right. He shakes his head)

Nik: (finally) I have bad aim, Lucky.

Lucky: Looked good enough to me.

Nik: No. (He shakes his head) No. No, I really do. (Nikolas looks up at Lucky, and Lucky suddenly realizes what Nikolas is saying)

Lucky: I told you not to look at her.

Nik: How do you not look at someone you just shot?

Lucky: I don't know.

Nik: So you saw it, too.

Lucky: I saw you. In that parking lot.

Nik: Was that what I looked like? Did I look that scared? That completely helpless? (Lucky nods after half a second) See? When I was out -- I kept having this dream... This dream, I kept having this same dream, over and over. It would finish, and I'd just start over right from the beginning again. Every time, I was lying there on the asphalt outside Luke's, and I could feel it again -- That feeling like I was drowning, like I was going to drown on my own blood. And it was all I could taste, all I could feel -- Just blood everywhere, and not being able to breath. And this time... No one did anything. No one moved. They just left me there on the pavement with this hole in my throat, and then I'd look up and I'd see myself just standing there, watching... That's what I did to her. (Lucky straightens up, his eyes still on Nikolas's) I know what I did to her, because someone shot me in the throat too. The only difference is that people made an effort to save me.

Lucky: (low) If it had been you... Or me... She would have stood there just like that, Nik.

Nik: I know. (Lucky shakes his head resolutely. He can tell from the way Nikolas is looking at him that he doesn't know.)

Lucky: She did that with Hannah. They say the stomach is the most painful part of the body to be shot in, and that's what she DID to her, Nik! She could have killed her quick, but she chose to make her suffer. She did that on purpose. She wanted her to bleed to death, and she wanted it to be slow.

Nik: Stop.

Lucky: You've got a lot of life to live with this, Nik. You're gonna have to find a way.

Nik: I know. (Lucky turns away from him. Damnit, he KNEW this was going to happen. He feels distinct anger running through him, heating his blood)

Lucky: I would have done it. I would have shot her. If you'd just LET me --

Nik: (quietly) You tried to tell me, Lucky. I got the message, loud and clear. Living with your actions is hell, right? You didn't want me to do something I couldn't live with. But I was supposed to let YOU do the same thing? No. No way.

Lucky: (looking away) Maybe I wouldn't have felt like that. Maybe it would have been easy for me.

Luke: (appearing in the doorway) Or maybe it would have been the last straw.

The Quartermaine Mansion

It's early morning, a work day. The mansion is quiet. Mornings have become that way, Monica thinks, as she sips her coffee, standing on the patio outside the living room, and looking down at the pond. The ducks are back -- sure sign that spring is here. Emily used to get so excited whenever that happened -- in the spring and fall -- and now she's not here to see it. Monica blinks her eyes rapidly. It would be nice if just one day would pass where she wasn't sick with worry about her daughter. She's lets out a long breath. It'll be over, someday, she tells herself. Whenever the hell that might be. Cassadines and Spencers weren't known for being quick with the family feuds. She just hadn't thought that This much time would pass without some kind of notice. A hint... an indication that Emily wasn't suffering, that she wasn't in danger. But then... maybe that's why she hadn't heard anything... Because her daughter was STILL in danger... and wasn't going to be out anytime soon.

Monica lets out a long sigh and turns, walking back into the main room where the rest of the family is having breakfast. AJ looks up and gives his mother a weak smile. She returns the gesture and crosses to him, past Edward, who is harumphing and shaking the heck of a newspaper as he tries to turn the pages.

Ed: Damn newsprint! Look at that fold! That's what you get for using recycled paper!

AJ: Yeah, that's it, Grandfather. Blame the trees, not your motor skills.

Ed: In MY day the paper was never this hard to manage! And the ink didn't come off on my fingers like this.

Monica: (quietly) And the streets were paved with gold, and raindrops were made of silver.

Alan: Father, if it's causing you so much difficulty, why don't you just WATCH the news.

AJ: Because then what would he complain about?

Ed: WHEN did it become the morning's activity for all of you to gang up on me?

Monica: The mid-eighties, I think. (the phone rings. She looks over at it and sighs) If that's another reporter, so help me GOD --

Ed: (standing up) REGINALD! Reginald, dagnabit! Answer the phone!

AJ: (moving for the phone) He's walking the dogs.

Ed: We have dogs?

AJ: (pausing) Apparently. (Monica cuts AJ off and picks up the phone)

Monica: Quartermaine residence. (She waits for a response. There is a crackle of static, and she hears the sound of someone breathing in) Hello? Who's there? (AJ looks over at Monica questioningly. She shrugs at him) Hello?

Em: Mom? (All the blood in Monica's body feels like it has spontaneously decided to visit her head. Her chin drops and she finds herself sinking down onto the chair beside the phone)

Monica: Emily?

Em: Mom? It's me. (Edward stands up, though he's actually knocked speechless)

Monica: Oh, God, Emily!

Alan: (moving forward) Is that her? Where is she? Is she Ok?

Monica: Emily! Where are you? Are you Ok?

Em: I'm... I'm fine. Mom? Helena Cassadine... She's dead.

Monica: You're kidding... (Monica shakes her head) Wait. Are you sure? Is this "Cassadine/Spencer" dead? Or is this "My baby can come home" dead?

Em: (laughing a little) The second one. I'm pretty sure. Jason's here... He's going to bring me home. (Monica hears her exhale over the phone. When she speaks again, her voice is tight) I'm finally coming home.

Lucky looks up sharply at the sound of his father's voice. He stares at his Dad, standing in the doorway. Luke is looking... tried. His eyes are rimmed a bit red, and he's looking right at Lucky. Lucky looks away as quickly as he looked up. His eyes settle on the edge of the headboard on the hospital bed -- safest place to look.

Lucky: (mumbling) Oh good. Another opinion. (Luke closes his eyes a moment, something that Nikolas notices, then opens them and turns his gaze onto his wife's other son. He looks at Nikolas a long moment, then nods -- almost curtly)

Luke: Good to see you awake, Nikolas. (Nikolas stares at Luke, then looks over at Lucky, as if for an explanation. Lucky doesn't look at him. Nikolas looks back at Luke.)

Nik: Good... to... Be awake. (He frowns) I think.

Lucky: (with a harsh edge) Were you listening? (Luke looks at Lucky. It's funny, how much he can see it now. Now that he's talked to Emily. The hatred, the rage, the complete terror... Everything he thought was being directed at him. He lets out his breath. This did not promise to be easy).

Luke: Heard enough.

Lucky: (turning back to his father) What does that mean?

Luke: Enough to know that Nikky here didn't let you clean up all his family's messes. (Luke keeps his eyes on Lucky as he says this) Which stands him in slightly better standing than I would have put him a month ago. (Lucky stares at him, then takes a step back, almost a stumble)

Lucky: So... What are you here to do? You got the story -- part of it, anyway. Why are we getting the commentary?

Luke: Anyone know you were the one who popped Mama Cass? (Nikolas looks at Luke in confusion)

Lucky: He means shot.

Nik: I don't... No.

Lucky: Emily. (Luke nods)

Luke: Might be good to keep it that way. (Lucky snorts, then looks away. He can't believe what he just heard)

Lucky: Hey, I hear I'm already up on one murder charge -- what's one more.

Luke: Come on, Lucky. You don't think I left that gun around where someone could find it. (Lucky says nothing. Luke continues to speak, his voice low) The gun is gone. The body is gone. The yacht is gone. As far as the world is going to be concerned, Helena Cassadine just disappeared into thin air. Alexis has made damn sure of that.

Lucky: (hollow) Nothing just disappears.

Nik: Lucky. (Lucky looks over at Nikolas sharply)

Lucky: What?

Nik: That solves a lot of problems.

Lucky: I'll send your aunt flowers. (Luke lets out a long breath)

Luke: Listen. Nikolas. (Both Nikolas and Lucky look over at Luke, clearly confused. Luke's eyes are fixed on the once-Prince). I'm gonna give this to you for free, Cassadine -- because you did us a favor. (Nikolas blinks)

Nik: I didn't do it for you.

Luke: Oh, I know that. Yeah... I know you wouldn't lift a finger to make my life any easier. Feeling's mutual, occasional life threatening circumstances aside.

Lucky: (flinches) Ok, that's enough.

Luke: (ignoring him) I got a word of advice for you here, Nik. You think that any of this is going to go away for you -- you think that it went away for me... You're wrong. You're a different... Prince... now. You killed someone. Most people get through their whole life, they don't have to know they have that in them.

Nik: You always thought I did.

Luke: (shrugging) Maybe. A little. That's not the point. Point is... (Luke shoots a quick glance at Lucky) You did what you had to do. And from the looks of it, she didn't give you any other choice. Am I right?

Nik: Yeah.

Luke: So. Now all you gotta do is try to forget the look on her face.

Nik: Yeah.

Luke: (brutally) Don't waste the energy. You won't. (Luke taps his temple with his index finger) It'll always be there. You carry that for the rest of your life. But feeling sorry for it, getting all dramatic and tortured about it... That's not going to change anything. (Nikolas stares at him. He looks over at Lucky, but Lucky's eyes look suspiciously blank and are still focused on his father. Nikolas looks back at Luke).

Nik: What are you trying to tell me?

Luke: I'm telling you that you can't duck what you are. You know what that is now -- more than most people ever will. So you just look at that hard in the eye, Nikolas... And you accept it. That's the only way you're gonna get on with your life. (Nikolas stares at Luke, looking him straight in his empty blue eyes. He's serious, Nikolas thinks. And this is where I've ended up -- Luke Spencer is giving me advice. And it makes sense. I am going to hell... Nikolas lets the thought slide and finds himself nodding slightly. The moment is interrupted by a sharp, almost hysterical, laugh. Nikolas and Luke both turn to the source of the sound)

Lucky: (laughing) Ok. Are you done?

Luke: Yeah, I think I said my piece.

Lucky: Yeah -- and it was pretty good. (Lucky claps his hands together, looking at his father bitterly) Really. I applaud you.

Luke: You wanna say something to me, Cowboy?

Lucky: (Dropping his hands) Yeah. Stop calling me that. (Nikolas cringes internally. Oh, God... Even HE knows that was brutal.)

Nik: Luke --

Luke: (putting a hand up) Don't strain yourself, Nikky. (to Lucky) What do you want me to call you? (Lucky stares at his father a long moment, then moves forward, moving to the door.)

Lucky: You don't have to call me anything.

Nik: Lucky! (Luke turns to grab him, but Lucky ducks him and manages to hit the door just as Stefan Cassadine appears. Lucky pushes past him without apology, forcing Stefan to flatten himself against the door frame. Stefan turns and takes in the sight before him. Luke. Spencer. With Nikolas)

Stefan: (gut reaction) What are you doing here? (Luke looks past Stefan to the place where his son just disappeared. He moves towards the door)

Luke: Leaving.