Chapter Two Hundred Nineteen:
Coax Me

The Hotel, Carly & Jason's suite

Emily comes out of the room Jason's vacated for her (Jason won), and walks over to the couch in the middle of the suite. She sinks down on it, letting out a long breath, and looks around the room.

Yet another hotel. Earthy and golden decor this time. Nice. Extravagant. There are toys scattered around one of the corners, where Carly was obviously playing with Michael. On the glass table in the corner is a brief case, laptop and some other items that indicate Jason is attempting to do business from this locale.

They've gone out. Who knows where. Something was going on between Carly and Jason, obviously. It felt like it was something that was written in stone, but was being denied anyway. Really strange people, Emily thinks mildly. God forbid anyone ever do that traditional 'meet, fall in love, get married and live happily ever after' thing.

She lets out her breath, and digs into her jeans pocket. It's been awhile since she wore these jeans -- they're her favorite, which is the only reason they made if from PC, to Stevensville, to Rome, and then to Greece. No matter how many times she had to dump everything she owned, she managed to hang on to these. They were serving the purpose of a security blanket. Something old and familiar -- and Ok, maybe a little warm for this climate -- that reminded her that she had a life outside of this room.

Emily pulls her ring out of her pocket, and rolls it between her fingers. Engagement ring, Lucky had called it. It made her laugh to think the words. She kept telling herself that she was going to have to think about that -- seriously -- without the whole emotional aspect... but she could already tell that wouldn't work. Emily slides the ring onto her finger. She feels oddly better with it on. It was ridiculous, she knew that. They were WAY too young. And every single person she knew -- even Liz -- would have a fit. But there was no way she wasn't going to do it. Nothing about this experience had supported caution and careful consideration. Rather, she'd come to the conclusion that life was short, and you never knew when a big black car was going to come speeding around the next corner. She'd faced death -- twice, by a conservative count -- in the last two months. She had no interest in waiting around for her life to start. Not with her family's track record for longevity.

God, this place is quiet.

Emily pulls herself to her feet, and pauses -- something she's use to doing at this point. She frowns when she notices the complete lack of head rush. Wow... When was the last time THAT happened? The advantage of rapid detox -- one of many -- was that they had pumped a lot of nutrients straight into her blood stream. Her body was enjoying that. In addition to that... she'd waken up uncharacteristically hungry. It was a real experience to remind herself that she LIKED food. It had already occurred to her that it would be a very good idea to gain a good ten to fifteen pounds before she got back to PC. Showing up at the mansion looking emaciated and sickly would NOT make for a good start.

Emaciated, sickly and wearing a wedding ring.

Emily jams her hands back in her pockets and starts to wander the suite. She should do something. Read a book. Watch TV. Write in her journal. It can't have been THAT long since she did those things. She could try it. It'd probably come back to her.

Emily spins idly around in a slow circle. Sure. She could do that. She could be normal. No problem. There was nothing here she couldn't handle.

This really isn't working.

Without even making a conscious decision, Emily is heading for the door, only pausing to grab her room key. She walks, in stocking feet, down the corridor and around the corner until she comes to the door she wants. She knocks quickly, not giving herself the chance to rethink this. She takes a quick step back from the door, waiting for an answer. She realizes that she's out of breath, though there is no reason for her to be. And her heart is pounding. She furrows her brow, until she realizes what's going on.

She's afraid.

Emily puts her hand to her chest, and looks down the corridor in a sudden panic. God, what the hell is wrong with her?

Stupid question. But she jumps when she hears movement from within the suite.

Luke: (gruffly) Who is it?

Em: (clearing her throat) Emily! (Her name comes out a little desperate and higher pitched than she would have liked)

Luke: Emily? (She hears the sound of the door being unlocked, unchained, and the door opens for her. She immediately feels better, seeing Luke's expression. He looks both confused and pleased by her appearance) Hi. You Ok?

Em: (Nodding a little too much) Yeah... Yeah, I'm fine. I just... Thought... (Emily lets out her breath) Hi.

Luke: You wanna come in? (Emily looks worried a moment, then nods)

Em: Yeah. Please. (Luke opens the door wide enough for her to pass him. Emily shoots a quick look back down the hallway to reassure herself that no one is there, then walks past Luke, into the suite) I didn't want to disturb you...

Luke: (closing the door) Not a problem. (Emily nods, distracted, as she looks around the empty room. Luke watches her.) Everything all right with you, Emily?

Em: Where's Lulu? (Luke leans back against the door, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand)

Luke: Lesley just got back -- She and that Cassadine woman are taking a turn with the kids.

Em: A Cassadine?

Luke: Aide-de-camp. Friend of Laura's from way back. Lesley doesn't trust a Cassadine at twenty paces, but she likes this woman. (Luke shrugs) So. (Emily smiles just a little bit)

Em: It's killing you.

Luke: You're a perceptive girl.

Em: I have a lot of practice. Reading Spencers. (Luke nods)

Luke: You're pretty good at it.

Em: Yeah... (she lets out a breath and turns around to face Luke) I wanted to let you know what was going on. Lucky... He asked me to let you know.

Luke: He's here?

Em: Not yet. We're... We're going to stay in Jason and Carly's suite. (Luke nods. No fanfare, thank God.) But... He wanted to stay at the hospital just a little longer. He's going to see his mother. (Luke raises his head, his eyes meeting Emily's. He looks, for a moment, incredibly old to her) Her eyes opened. (Luke blinks. He stands up, moving towards Emily, then stops dead. He lets out his breath, and seems to deflate, then nods)

Luke: She's still in a coma, though.

Em: Yeah. (Luke nods, and moves to a red leather wing backed chair that has it's back to the door.)

Luke: Ok. Ok... That's good -- That there was some news. (He sinks down into the chair, looking a little worse for wear.) How'd he take it?

Em: He knows what it means... And what is doesn't mean. I think... He just needed to see her. To look at her, make... Make it real. (She sits down on the arm of the love seat that sits perpendicular to the chair Luke is in)

Luke: Yeah. Yeah, that's good. That's the best thing he can do.

Em: Yeah. I think so too. (Luke nods again, staring into space. After a moment, he shakes his head like he's just dunked his head into cold water, and sits up in the chair. )

Luke: Man... (Luke reaches into the pocket of his shirt. He pulls out a cigar. He looks over at Emily) Ok with you? (Emily looks at him blankly, then makes the connection)

Em: Oh! The cigar? Go ahead.

Luke: Thanks. (he bites the end off) Man, I need this. (Emily smiles wanly. She wonders what she needs. A strong shot of morphine might be nice...)

Em: I think you've earned it. (Luke gives a low laugh)

Luke: It's a crutch, Darlin'. But it's one of my favorites.

Em: (heavily) I could use one of those. (Luke lights the cigar, looking at her with raised brow) A crutch, I mean.

Luke: (taking a drag) Really.

Em: Well. I burned out on crutches all at once. You know... You do heroin when you're fourteen, you sort of use up all your coupons.

Luke: Says who?

Em: Not sure. The Surgeon General? (Luke smirks at her, blowing out the smoke from his lungs) No, I think all the coping mechanisms I'm allowed are twelve step programs. Oh! And chocolate. (Luke nods, looking at the cigar and rolling it between his fingers)

Luke: I hear good things about chocolate. But these things killed my taste buds for anything that's not hard liquor. (Emily looks at him oddly)

Em: You know, I really have to respect that you say things like that out loud.

Luke: Self deprecation is a great way to keep the world off your back. (Emily smiles. Luke cocks his head at her, then extends his hand, offering Emily the cigar. She looks at the cigar, then up at Luke, shocked)

Em: You're not serious. (Luke shrugs. Emily looks at the cigar, again. Ok. Why not? She reaches out and takes it from him, examining it) You're not like most people, Luke.

Luke: I'll take that as a compliment. (Emily laughs slightly, to herself)

Em: (Softly) And I knew you'd say that. (She looks up at him) I always wondering how someone starts to smoke cigars.

Luke: Growing up in a brothel helps.

Em: (nodding) I can see that. (She sighs) Ok. I've only ever smoked cigarettes. Oh. And... Ok. (cringe) Marijuana

Luke: Same basic principle.

Em: Yeah?

Luke: Takes a bit more style. Don't hold it in as long.

Em: I know this is going to taste awful.

Luke: Oh, yeah.

Em: So why am I doing it?

Luke: (Shrugging) Adventure?

Em: You'd think I'd have had enough of that. (She looks back at the cigar) I didn't expect normal to feel so strange. You know?

Luke: That's another reason people start smoking cigars.

Em: Not good.

Luke: No.

Em: Ok. (she exhales then looks at Luke, holding the smoking cigar limply in her hand. She straightens up, and lifts the cigar to her mouth. She looks at Luke, smiling a bit, before actually putting the cigar to her lips) Here goes nothing. (She takes a few careful puffs off the cigar, then pulls back, making a face, and pulling air into her lungs. She shakes her head, then coughs out some of the smoke and waves the cigar at Luke, urging him to take it from her. He does. Emily slides off the arm of the sofa onto the couch, choking out the rest of the smoke) Oh my GOD.

Luke: Yeah, it's pretty intense.

Em: That definitely tasted awful. (Luke smiles, and brings the cigar back to his lips.)

Luke: I was hoping it'd distract you. (He takes a few puffs off the offending item) You looked like you had the hounds of hell after you there at the door.

Em: Yeah. (She puts her head down, closing her eyes) Maybe I did. (She lets out her breath slowly, then starts to cough again, and sits up. Her eyes are red, tears streaming down her face. She laughs with Luke, who chuckles at her appearance) It's going to take me awhile to shake off some of what happened.

Luke: To be expected. (Luke nods to the mini bar) Get yourself something to drink. Probably some chocolate in there, too. (Emily bites her lip, considering this. Sounds good. On the other hand, she really already said what she came here to say. And she doesn't want to overstay her welcome. She's sure Luke must be feeling something close to what Lucky was back in that hospital room. She's not sure what to do.) Em: Are you sure?

Luke: (hurt) How cheap do you think I am?

Em: (abashed) Oh. I didn't mean --

Luke: Besides. Cassadine's paying. (Emily looks at Luke a moment, then realizes he really isn't kidding. She shakes her head, and stands)

Em: Oh, in THAT case...

Luke: That's my girl. (Emily moves over to the fridge, shaking her head.)

Em: Always willing to do my part. (she opens the fridge and bends down to examine it's contents. She immediately spots something she recognizes and lets out a squeal of glee) Oh!

Luke: Found something?

Em: Coca-Cola... This you can't get on Cassadine Island.

Luke: Go for it. (Emily takes the small bottle from the fridge, along with a box of chocolate almonds. Junk food! She vaguely remembers this. She hops up, kicking the door to the mini bar closed, and nearly skips back to the couch on the mere anticipation of a sugar high. Luke watches her with amusement as she settles down on the couch, the box of almonds resting on her thigh, coke bottle in her hand. She quickly twists off the cap, then raises the bottle to Luke) To crutches. (Luke laughs, then leans over and taps his cigar to the bottle.)

Luke: Amen. (Emily giggles, and sits back on the couch. She takes a sip of the pop, and lets out a sound of contentment, closing her eyes)

Em: Ohhhhh... wow. The things you don't even realize you miss. (She blinks her eyes open) I bet I'd even be happy to see a McDonald's right now.

Luke: Bite your tongue. If you're going to start missing food, you start with Ruby's chili.

Em: (repentant) I'm sorry. No, Kelly's is always my top pick. But I bet there are actually McDonald's in Athens.

Luke: You hungry? (Emily thinks about that, taking another sip)

Em: Hmm... Give me an hour. It's entirely possible that I will be. (Luke nods, looking at an item that has just been lying on the coffee table since Emily entered)

Luke: Look... (he reaches over and picks up a brown paper bag off the coffee table, and tosses it at Emily, who jumps as it lands in her lap, knocking the box of almonds onto the floor.) That's for you.

Em: What's this?

Luke: (shrugs) Thank-you gift?

Em: (looking at him oddly) For what?

Luke: Taking care of my son.

Em: Luke --

Luke: Just open it. (Emily bites her lip, then shrugs and opens the bag. There's a box in it -- from the gift store in the hotel lobby. She looks at it, then back at Luke. He just looks back at her, expectantly. She takes a deep breath, and pulls the box out. She feels nervous as she opens the box lid with shaking hands. Inside is a simple but sturdy silver chain. She stares at it a long moment, then looks up at Luke)

Em: You...

Luke: It's for your ring. I figured your parents would have a fit, you wearing that around the house. This way, you can hang onto it.

Em: I'm... (She laughs, and looks up at him, eyes shinning) Ok. I'm impressed. I really, really am.

Luke: (quietly) Ditto. (Emily laughs sharply)

Em: You didn't have to do this.

Luke: I know.

Em: But thank you. I... I do want to hang onto this.

Luke: (cracking a smile) I can tell. (Emily feels her flush a little, and shakes her head, as she tries to pull the ring from her finger.)

Em: It's just... It went through a lot. And... so did we. I just... (She slides the ring off her finger) I represents something. I just does. (Luke leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees and looking at Emily intently. She fumbles with the box a moment, then looks up to meet his eyes, a little apprehensively)

Luke: Thank-you, Emily. I mean it. For coming and telling me about Laura, for... everything that you've done for my boy... I never questioned his loving you. But it's good to see for sure that he's made a good choice. That he's with a good woman. (Emily frowns, then struggles to laugh at that)

Em: I'm seventeen.

Luke: In earth years.

Em: Yeah. (She exhales) Yeah. (she makes a face) Which are the only years that count as far as my parents are concerned. (She wipes her eyes with the back of her hand self-consciously, catching tears that weren't given the opportunity to fall) I love him so much. That's why I said all that stuff to you this afternoon. I just needed to try to make it better.

Luke: It's going to be better, Emily. I'm still keeping my promise to you. I won't ever give up on him. Ever.

Em: Good. (She lets out a long breath, letting her hands drop into her lap. She rolls the ring between her index finger and thumb, absently) Luke?

Luke: Yeah, Darlin'?

Em: How much of a wimp would you think I was if I said ... I... (She looks away, tears springing to her eyes) The last time I was alone... (She looks back at him, swallowing painfully. She gestures to her neck) It didn't go so well.

Luke: You don't want to be alone.

Em: Not... really. (Luke gives her a kind smile)

Luke: Hardest thing about being at someone's mercy is realizing you can get out from under it again.

Em: Yeah, well... I'm not quite there, Luke.

Luke: You will be. (Emily smiles wanly. Luke sits back in this chair) Truth is, I've had enough down time for this century. What do you say we rescue the Princess, go run up an expensive feast on the Black Bat's tab.

Em: (smiling) You know, I'm not entirely on board with this whole "bleed the Cassadines dry" thing. (She cocks her head at him) But for you, I'll make an effort.

Luke: Hey, that's all I ask, Darlin. That's all I ask.

The Hospital, Intensive Care Ward

Lucky stands at the large glass window that lines one side of his mother's ICU room. The glass is cross-hatched with wire, that mars his view. It's a bit of a blessing. His mother's body is mostly obscured by machines, tubes, wires. He can see a hand, resting on a light green blanket. He can see a bit of her shoulder, her forehead, and the spill of golden hair that falls over her pillow. Enough to know it's her. Enough to know, but not enough to make him move from his spot.

He can go inside. A nurse happened by a few minutes earlier and assured him it was all right, if he was family. He told her he would, in a minute. She gave him a kind smile, touched his arm. He's flinched at the gesture. So much for charm and unshakable cool in the presence of strangers.

He wasn't sure what he was doing here. There was nothing he could do. He should have gone back to the hotel with Emily. He should have just retreated into that world -- Gone to see his sister. Unpacked. Slept. He feels like he could sleep for days. And GOD he wanted to. He just wanted things to be easy -- just for a little while. Just hold his girlfriend, listen to her tell him the myths behind constellations he picked out of the sky. Talk to her about the idiotic things people said at the last school newspaper meeting. Argue about whether or not she wanted to go to her prom. Talk about anything besides Cassadines, dead matriarchs, and... his mother.

Lucky leans his head against the glass and closes his eyes. There is something so sharply wrong with this. What is he doing here? Standing outside his mother's hospital room -- alone? He can see how the scene might have unfolded a few years earlier. The madness. The people. The surge of emotion, the way his father would have circled the wagons. Back then -- Before Cassadines -- he would have been in a place like this with his Aunt Ruby on one side, his father on the other. Aunt Bobbie would have been there. And Amy. Probably Sonny, Mary Mae, Justus. And Emily, some place. Maybe even Sly. That whole circle of people, most of whom were dead, or had just moved on. The circle was long since disbanded. There was no instant support system rallying around his mother's bedside now.

Good Spencer, he thinks. What you really need right now is a heavy dose of nostalgia. Lucky squeezes his eyes shut and lets out a shaky breath. There was nothing he could do. The second he saw her -- the hint of her -- it all got too real too damn fast. He'd been angry at her for four straight years. He'd tried to get over it, tried to swallow it, tried to exorcise it -- and it wouldn't move. Just looking at her hurt too much. Trying to make sense out of her explanations, trying to read between lines he'd never even looked at before. It was hard to explain to other people -- probably no one more than Nikolas -- that his mother DIDN'T LIE. And since the day that he'd discovered that she had... that she'd kept secrets, that she'd hidden things, that she was capable of all the things he'd never thought she'd be able to do... He hadn't trusted anything. He couldn't trust his father to keep loving him, he couldn't believe Emily when she told him she still trusted him. He couldn't... well, he couldn't do much of ANYTHING where Nikolas was concerned. It had almost cost him everything. And it all stemmed from that sudden moment when he found out what had really happened on Cassadine Island, and his whole world went through the looking glass.

Genesis. The beginning. And standing here, he's choking on the one undeniable fact that, even if he can draw a straight line between everything he's mother's done wrong, and where he is right now... He loves her. Lucky catches his breath in a near-gulp. She's his mother, she's his only mother, one of the few people on this earth he's ever been able to really invest in -- and she's hurt, there is nothing he can do to protect her anymore, and he doesn't know how to do this next part. Whatever happens to her... He doesn't know how to watch her in pain. He never has. And he sure as hell doesn't know how to watch her die.

That word, that thought, is just too much for Lucky. He pushes himself back from the glass violently, like he can throw the entire idea away from him with sheer force. She's not going to die. She's not going to spend the rest of her life in a coma. She's not leaving this world without him ever saying another word to her. She can't. She can't, he's not ready for this, he can't lose her. He can't DO this. It's too God Damned much.

The lights seem to dim, and Lucky realizes that he's breathing entirely too fast. There's no oxygen in this place, there's no air, or space. The walls feel like they're sliding closer to him. He turns away from the window and bolts, as best he can, stumbling around the corner and right into... his brother.

Nik: Lucky! (Nikolas struggles a moment with the shock of even SEEING Lucky here, then grabs his shoulders and effectively stops him, turning him so that his back is almost to the wall of the corridor. Lucky reaches out without thinking and grabs the lapel of Nikolas's housecoat for support. The room feels like it's spinning around him.) What are you doing? Are you Ok? (Lucky lets himself meet Nikolas's gaze, and immediately regrets it. He stumbles slightly towards Nikolas, then, realizing what he's doing, he lets go of the cloth that is clutched in his hand, and steps back, and Nikolas lets him go. Lucky leans his back against the wall, still struggling with his breath. He tries for a moment to speak, to say something to brush off what just happened -- but cool is an illusive commodity when you're hyperventilating.)

Lucky: (choking) Nik. (There's a desperate quality to Lucky's voice that Nikolas has heard a few too many times at this point. But never like this. Not directed to him. His name coming out of his brother's mouth like a plea for help. He reaches out and puts a hand on his shoulder.)

Nik: Here, sit down. It's Ok. (Lucky closes his eyes, and tries to concentrate on holding the air he's bringing in. His lungs just won't take it, masochistically pushing it back out again. God, he feels dizzy. With his eyes closed, he can't even tell which way is up. He feels the pressure of his brother pressing on his shoulder, directing him. He slides down the wall, collapsing gratefully onto the floor. Nikolas crouches beside him) Lucky. Are you -- (Lucky nods, trying to choke out thanks, but his still having trouble bringing any air into his lungs. He brings a hand up to cover his mouth.) Lucky? (Nothing. Lucky concentrates on the sensation of the air hitting his hand as he breathes out, using it to help him control the air rushing in and out of his lungs. Nikolas observes this, more than a little helplessly. He scrambles for something to say. Something... worthwhile.) Just... Breathe, Ok? Just... don't think about the rest of it right now. (Lucky chuckles a bit, unconvincingly, and gives Nikolas a halfhearted thumbs up. The sarcasm is more than noted.) What do you WANT me to say? "Just pass out, it'll go away?" (Lucky lets his hand drop, and leans his head back against the wall, his eyes still closed. It's clear he's going to let that slide -- either out of mercy or necessity, Nikolas isn't sure. Finally, Lucky manages to let out a long, really shaky breath. He opens his eyes. Blinks.)

Lucky: (hoarse) Trippy. (Nikolas grimaces)

Nik: You saw Laura? (Lucky nods, coughing a little. His throat is really dry. He looks up at Nikolas balefully.)

Lucky: Not much point in playing it cool, huh?

Nik: I'd rather you didn't. (Lucky looks at his brother oddly. That sounds disturbingly sincere. He shrugs his shoulder almost reflexively and Nikolas takes the hint. He pulse his hand back and slips it self-consciously into the pocket of his deep navy house coat) Are you Ok? (Lucky shakes his head, still struggling a bit with the breath thing. Think. He's got to think. And... he never thinks well with Nikolas hovering over him.)

Lucky: Golden. (He squints at Nikolas crouched over him) Will you sit down? You're making me nervous. (Nikolas sits back, then nods, realizing what Lucky's reacting too -- the position of power is a little uneven. He puts a hand to the wall, and turns, leaning his back against it and sliding down to sit beside your brother)

Nik: Better? (Lucky ignores that)

Lucky: What are you doing here? (Nikolas smiles slightly.)

Nik: By all accounts, I live here now. What are you doing here? I thought you'd left. (Lucky closes his eyes again. He should have, he thinks, darkly. Gotten out while the going was good. And God... His brain can't even handle what this means -- he's escaped from Nikolas's room and an altogether disturbing conversation hours ago. He hadn't thought of going back. On the list of things he knew how to address... Nikolas wasn't making the cut. Lucky coughs again. Ok. Best to just not think about it. He isn't here to make any major decisions, no matter what his father had said to him.)

Lucky: (pulling in air) You had a nurse come find me and tell me she opened her eyes. Did you expect me to leave after that?

Nik: I... wasn't entirely sure you'd be here even then. The last time I saw you --

Lucky: Yeah, well. Emily was here. I wasn't going to leave her.

Nik: No. Which is why I took the chance. But I'd heard that she was being released.

Lucky: Really got your fingers on every pulse in this place, don't you?

Nik: Occasionally my title comes in handy, Lucky. If you're asking if I'm keeping tabs on you -- I am. Happy? (Lucky exhales carefully. He opens his eyes and looks at Nikolas. He offers nothing. Nikolas clears his throat.) How... Did she look?

Lucky: I didn't go in. (Nikolas blinks, and immediately regrets it. The only way to meet that statement was with no reaction whatsoever. But it's too late. The revelation is making his stomach churn with apprehension.)

Nik: Oh. (Lucky looks at his brother intently -- almost challenging)

Lucky: Don't let me stop you, though. You don't have to babysit me, you can go in. (Nikolas lets out his breath)

Nik: Yeah. I know.

Lucky: So?

Nik: Do you think it was a coincidence that I was standing around that corner JUST as you decided to bolt? (Lucky keeps the same intent look on Nikolas. He says nothing) I've been trying to work up to getting to the window for twenty minutes. (Lucky smiles a bit at that, then lets out a slight, high-pitched giggle and turns away. Nikolas frowns. Ok. Lucky was striking him as surly, but he seems to be playing better to this house than he's accustomed) Are you SURE you're Ok?

Lucky: Lightheaded. (He pulls one knee up to his chest and lets out his breath, leaning his head on it) Long day.

Nik: (quietly) Tell me about it.

Lucky: I'd rather not.

Nik: It was an expression -- not an invitation.

Lucky: I know. (They fall into a not-entirely comfortable silence. Nikolas looks over at his brother. He's pale. There's a thin veil of perspiration on his forehead. Eyes are red, breathing is a little heavier than it should be... He looks sicker than Nikolas is. And no one drugged him. Nikolas would worry if he wasn't so accustomed to Lucky's appearance -- It's the physical manifestations of stress -- nothing more. Why does that get to him, Nik wonders. His interrupted conversation with Lucky this afternoon had made one thing clear -- they were pretty much done with each other. Which was a nice theory, apart from the fact that Nikolas was pretty certain he had no idea how to walk away. Especially not when he's sitting here, looking at this person who is supposed to be a stranger to him... and knowing exactly what is going on in his head.)

Nik: (quietly) It could be. If you wanted it to be. (It takes Lucky a moment to absorb that)

Lucky: What?

Nik: If you did want to talk about it. I would listen. (Lucky stares at his brother. Surely that is against the rules. He tries to say something, but it takes a few moments for him to find words and vocal cords)

Lucky: I spent maybe a half hour with my girlfriend. If I didn't spill my guts to her, what makes you think that I'd spill them to you? (Nikolas shrugs, still looking at the opposite wall.)

Nik: You know what Emily would say, though. Don't you?

Lucky: What's that supposed to mean?

Nik: Emily supports you no matter what. I've seen it, Lucky. No matter how screwed up things are, she defends you to the death. Even if she's faced with your staunchest critic.

Lucky: (laughing humorlessly) And that would be you.

Nik: Me? No. You're harder on yourself than anyone, Lucky.

Lucky: (wryly) Yeah, but you give me a run for my money sometimes.

Nik: Yeah. I guess I do. I have. Historically. (Lucky smirks. He puts rests his head against his hand, propping his elbow on his raised knee. Nikolas takes a breath, as a strange plan of attack comes to him. He should shut up, he thinks mildly. However, he doesn't take his own advice) I'm just... If you need someone to be judge and jury, Lucky... If that's what this comes down to? Your father probably isn't going to be the man for the job. He forgave you for every "unspeakable" thing you've done already. I could tell the minute he walked into that room on the yacht. The second I saw his face -- I knew he wasn't going to hold you responsible for anything.

Lucky: (a whisper) Stop. (Nikolas does. Lucky pulls in, then exhales a very shaky breath. He closes his eyes) What are you doing?

Nik: I really... Really don't know. I... I know we're done. I guess we settled that today. We have a mother and sister in common... but you and I -- We're done. So. Maybe I think I owe you something.

Lucky: Let's call it even.

Nik: I can't. Not... when things still feel this screwed up, Lucky. We got here together, I can't just... leave it here.

Lucky: We both have scars, Nik. (Lucky looks over at him, his fatigue apparent in his eyes) You lost a lover. I lost some self respect... and we both might lose... (Lucky shakes his head hard, throwing the thought away. Nikolas sits very still next to him, his hands clenched. He knows, somehow, that if he loosens them, he'll start to shake. So he keeps gripping nothing at all. And waits)

Nik: You're blaming yourself.

Lucky: (carefully) What makes you say that?

Nik: Lucky. Come on. It's what you do.

Lucky: Good point.

Nik: (after a moment) It's not your fault.

Lucky: You don't know that.

Nik: Yeah, I do. (Lucky looks over at him)

Lucky: How? (Nikolas's turns to meet his gaze. Lucky stares into his eyes, and makes the connection) Oh.

Nik: Exactly.

Lucky: So explain it to me. How's it your fault? (Nikolas lets out a slow breath)

Nik: Maybe this is what I'm offering. You be my judge and jury... I'll be yours. We can decide which one of us is guilty, and get on with our lives. (Lucky lets out his breath, inexplicable tears coming to his eyes. God... There is something in him... some kind of deep ache... that is just clawing at his insides, trying to come out. Usually, when he feels his way, he'd turn to someone he loved and end up tearing them right up with him. Like a monster that dwells in him, that can let loose at any moment on anyone he cares about, and use everything he knows to take them down. Hurt them. And the more they bleed, the more he bleeds... and the more he bleeds, the better he feels. Why? No answer. Right now he's sitting here with the perfect candidate for evisceration. Nikolas Cassadine... Bastard son of his mother's island lover, the start -- the real beginning. And... It's not what he wants. He knows the worst part of this feeling is acting on it, and feeling the overwhelming remorse later. And with Nikolas... there should be no remorse, right? Hey, if you give up the old laundry list of wounds, he still and the latest -- the abandonment on Cassadine Island that had nearly cost the woman he loved more than anything her life. That's a pretty big sin. Worthy of any punishment Lucky can throw at him. But what's tempting here isn't the chance to put the Crimes of Nikolas Cassadine on trial. It's to finally be able to lay his crimes out for someone... and have them pronounce him guilty. For someone to finally look at him and say "Yeah. You SHOULD hate yourself." -- Nikolas is right. It's something his father will never do. And... Nikolas is, God help him, easier to talk to than everyone else. At least... he has been, lately).

Lucky: Ok, Nik. Give it to me. What am I being charged with?

Nik: (shrugging) How should I know? You're the prosecution.

Lucky: Right. (He lets out his breath) Well, we can start with reckless endangerment. Three counts at least. Maybe four. At least one (He takes a breath) Resulting in death. Kidnapping of one Emily Bowen Quartermaine. (Lucky sighs) Maligning the reputation and virtue of one Emily Bowen Quartermaine. Inflicting undo stress and pain upon the same. Jumping bail... figuratively. Assisted in the abduction of a Prince. (Lucky stares off at the wall) High treason.

Nik: Not being God...

Lucky: Now you sound like Emily.

Nik: (smirking slightly) I'm flattered.

Lucky: Damnit, Nikolas! I have a POINT, don't I? Can't YOU at least see that? (Nikolas just looks at him. Lucky growls and looks away) Fine. Forgery, theft, illegal entry to a foreign land... (He coughs and looks down at his hands) What's on YOUR list? (Nikolas lets out a slow breath)

Nik: Murder. First degree.

Lucky: Am I supposed to be impressed with that?

Nik: (ignoring him) I can cop to reckless endangerment -- four counts. One resulting in death.

Lucky: You're copying.

Nik: Live with it. (Closes his eyes) Treachery, dishonesty, abandonment, naivete, stupidity --

Lucky: That's not illegal.

Nik: Who said we were convicting under U.S. law?

Lucky: (dryly) Right. How Western of me.

Nik: Do you want to amend your list? Throw in "Stubborn" and "Confirmed Brat"?

Lucky: Nice to see you taking this so seriously.

Nik: You're the only one allowed to make jokes at inappropriate moments? I'm trying to get through this conversation. Any way I know how. (Lucky looks over at him. Nikolas's features are tight, his jaw clenched. Lucky nods)

Lucky: Yeah, well... Maybe we spent too much time together. Maybe we picked up on each other's bad habits out of osmosis or something.

Nik: Possible. Do you want to make opening remarks?

Lucky: How did I get stuck going first?

Nik: I'd suggest we flip for it, but I don't have anything on me. You?

Lucky: Couple of bills for cab fare.

Nik: (sighing) Millionaires, both of us, and we don't have a dime on us. (Lucky looks over at Nikolas, a bit thrown. Right. Nikolas had mentioned that during the "final showdown" on the yacht).

Lucky: How did you find out about that? I mean --

Nik: Helena. She had all kinds of documents. Some of it was about where the money went after it left your "bank account". (He looks at Lucky) And it made sense. That Jason would transfer it into your name. I'm not asking how you earned it --

Lucky: Emily. It's about taking care of Emily, more than anything else. (Nikolas nods)

Nik: You didn't have to tell me.

Lucky: I know. I... just did. (Lucky clears his throat, uncomfortably) Opening remarks... Ok. (he sighs) Your honor... (he glances at Nikolas) Semi-respected members of the jury. What we have here is a story of... bad choices. Bad choices, leading to bad situations, leading to even worse choices. A downward spiral that started with one rotten decision, and a startling inability to deal with the fallout. Item number one. Defendant kept life altering secret from the two most interested parties -- his father, and his... His brother. Item two: Due to complete inability to handle situation, defendant then managed to completely destroy his relationship with Emily Quartermaine.

Nik: Objection.

Lucky: You can't object to an opening statement!

Nik: You can if it's objectionable.

Lucky: (irritated) So you're just making up your own rules of conduct here.

Nik: My idea, my rules.

Lucky: And I'm the brat. Right.

Nik: (heavily) Defendant's relationship with Miss Quartermaine is still very much active. Therefore, you can't claim it "completely destroyed".

Lucky: Maimed. (Nikolas shakes his head) Oh come on!

Nik: Wounded, maybe.

Lucky: MAYBE? Hey -- which one of us was THERE? I thought the whole point of this was I make the charges, I prove them. Isn't that how this stuff works? (Nikolas sighs) Ok, one -- (Lucky counts these off on his fingers) Her relationship with her family is completely messed up.

Nik: Isn't that a prerequisite?

Lucky: Oh, and YOUR family is normal. (Nikolas raises his eyebrows)

Nik: Are you defending the Quartermaines?

Lucky: (pressing on) She used to be able to handle them. For the last six months, it's a been a mess. Two! She pushed herself to completely exhaustion on SEVERAL occasions as a direct result of defendant's erratic behavior. Three -- There is no count available of the numbers of hours of pain and stress and general angst she suffered -- again, because of the defendant's complete inability to handle the choices he'd made.

Nik: (Suddenly) Hey. You left assault off your list of charges.

Lucky: What?

Nik: You hit AJ.

Lucky: (giving him a look) Oh, come on. He deserved it. (Nikolas shrugs his acquiescence. Not even in his circumstance is he going to argue that) Now will you stop interrupting me?

Nik: (Holding his hand in a far-too-regal gesture) You may speak.

Lucky: (through gritted teeth) Ok, so maybe I DO want to add assault to the charges... (Nikolas looks over at him, looking at him like an irritated school marm. Lucky has to suppress the urge to laugh, and turns away) Right. Where was I?

Nik: Emily.

Lucky: Yeah... Emily. I messed her up, is that good enough for you? I made her life a living hell. I messed with her head, and confused her, and hurt her... I made promises to her one minute, and I broke them the next. I kept secrets. I made her pay way too much for how confused and messed up I was. How's that?

Nik: Duly noted.

Lucky: Next... My family. (He lets out a long breath) I gave up on them. (there's a long silence while Lucky lets those words sink in) I really did. I gave up on them. I did the same thing I kept accusing my mother of doing. I just decided that my Dad wasn't strong enough to deal with this, and I tried to act like I was. And when it turned out I wasn't, I still didn't trust my family enough to be able to pull it all together and work it out. (he bows his head) My Dad's not wearing his wedding ring. I can't even ask him why. (Nikolas says nothing. There is nothing to say. Instead he just remains still, playing the impartial witness) Giving up on them... that's the treason. That's the part that's really unforgivable.

Nik: Is there more?

Lucky: To what?

Nik: The treason.

Lucky: Yeah. Yeah, there is. I... Trusted a Cassadine.

Nik: Reckless endangerment.

Lucky: Christ.

Nik: (softly) You can forfeit any time, Lucky.

Lucky: No. No, I can do this. Reckless endangerment... I let my girlfriend get hit by a car. And then I left her alone in Rome, where she had to risk her neck to escape from Helena. I let her hike along the cliff where she collapsed of sunstroke. And then... I left her alone on the island, where she was brutalized, choked, and abducted by a Land-Ape servant boy. (Again, Nikolas feels that revelation burning a guilt hole in his stomach. He pushes on anyway. For some reason, he just has to get through this conversation)

Nik: Second count. (Lucky sighs. Second count. Damn.)

Lucky: (quietly) I... Let my brother take on some wild revenge scenario against the woman who killed his girlfriend. Hell -- I encouraged it. I told you to do it. And in the end, you were drugged and psychologically tortured for a few hours.

Nik: I survived.

Lucky: But that's what happened, isn't it?

Nik: It's... an interesting way to put it. Third count.

Lucky: Hannah.

Nik: Forth count. (Lucky looks over at him. Nikolas is staring straight ahead, unblinking.)

Lucky: Nik...

Nik: Forth count, Lucky.

Lucky: Mom.

Nik: And you endangered her how? (Lucky leans his head back against the wall).

Lucky: By going somewhere dangerous. By making her follow. And by not being there to stop her from getting hurt.

Nik: (letting out his breath) I'm ready to deliver my judgment.

Lucky: That was quick. (Nikolas still doesn't move, says nothing. Lucky sighs) Ok. Let's hear it.

Nik: On the charge of forgery, theft and illegal entry to a foreign land, defendant is found irrefutably guilty due to incontestable evidence and the fact that he clearly enjoyed all of it. (Lucky smirks, despite himself) On the charge of maligning the reputation of Emily Bowen Quartermaine... undeniably guilty, and I doubt the victim cares much. On the charge... Of causing her undo stress... She fell in love with a Spencer. She knew the risks.

Lucky: (groaning) Nikolas.

Nik: Victim was aware of what she was getting into. She made her own choices. Besides, she regrets none of it. Charge dismissed. Reckless endangerment... (Nikolas looks over at Lucky) She's stronger than that, Lucky, give her a break.

Lucky: No part of this deal involved you going easy on me. (Nikolas blinks)

Nik: Reckless endangerment to Hannah Hargreaves. (Ouch. Lucky turns away. Nikolas bows his head and thinks on this a long time. He wanted to blame Lucky -- a dozen times. It never took hold. He raises his head, speaking carefully -- methodically.) You tried to save her life. You tried in the only way you could. You tried to scare her into doing what you knew she had to... and when that didn't work, you tried protect her. And when it all failed... (Nikolas's words catch, and he has to take a breath before he can continue) You tried to stop the bleeding. You called an ambulance. You waited with me while she was operated on... You did what you could for her. You didn't kill her.

Lucky: You skipped yourself.

Nik: Yeah, that charge was just stupid. I'm not wasting the breath. High Treason. (Long pause) Not guilty. (Lucky turns and looks at him, instantly infuriated)

Lucky: You're just fucking PATRONIZING me now!

Nik: (disturbingly calm) Lucky... If I was patronizing you now... If I thought you were guilty of anything, do you think we'd be here?

Lucky: That wasn't what you were offering, was it?

Nik: No. It was. I just... realized something. (Nikolas glances over at him) I've already done this. I've already put you on trial. Helena gave me a gun and told me to decide. If you don't believe what I'm saying here, Lucky... Then believe this: No amount of drugging, no amount of "evidence", no amount of psychological... torture... (Nikolas shakes his head) I never believed you could do it. I never thought you were the sort of person who set out to hurt people. So... Did you give up on your family? I don't think so. Did you think they might give up on each other... (Lucky, who has been staring at Nikolas in a sort of horrified fascination, jerks at that statement. Nikolas sighs) Maybe you did. And... maybe you weren't wrong. (Lucky looks away.) I'm just saying... It was a catch-22. No matter which way he turned, he would have betrayed someone. The situation was impossible. Not guilty due to extenuating circumstances.

Lucky: (barely contained emotion) And our mother? What do you say about that? (Nikolas closes his eyes. He knows that Lucky's shutting down the other part of the conversation. For some reason, it doesn't bother him.)

Nik: Defendant's... erratic behavior and sudden departure... Might have been a contributing factor.

Lucky: Thank-you.

Nik: But we lack evidence. She's the only person who can really attest to that.

Lucky: And she's in a coma. (Nikolas nods) So that's still up in the air. For both of us. (Nikolas says nothing, just stares into space, deep in thought)

Nik: (after a moment) I've been wanting to ask you something.

Lucky: What?

Nik: When you found out that Josef was playing for Helena's team... Please tell me you hit him.

Lucky: I threw him over a desk.

Nik: (smiling) I knew I could count on you. (Lucky stares at him. There's something in Nikolas's demeanor that he doesn't like at all. When Nikolas gets calm like this, it usually means something is raging under the surface. Damn. He should really just get up and walk away. That's probably the smartest thing he could do)

Lucky: It's your turn, Nikolas. Opening remarks. (Nikolas looks up at stare at the opposite wall again. He continues to stare at it impassively throughout the conversation)

Nik: I have none.

Lucky: None.

Nik: No. My record... speaks for itself.

Lucky: Am I still the prosecution?

Nik: That's your call.

Lucky: This is like the Marx Brothers do Law & Order.

Nik: First charge. (Lucky just looks at him) First charge.

Lucky: Murder, first degree. (The words come out clipped, businesslike. A near facsimile of the way Nikolas handled this when the camera was pointed at Lucky. It's unspoken, but they both know that it's the best way for them to have this conversation -- to keep it as impersonal as possible)

Nik: Shot my grandmother. In cold blood. Didn't enjoy it... But I wanted to.

Lucky: Second charge. Reckless endangerment.

Nik: Emily... and you. Leaving you on the island. I nearly got you both killed.

Lucky: Third charge. Reckless endangerment.

Nik: Hannah.

Lucky: Hannah.

Nik: I fell in love with her. I should have known better.

Lucky: Nik, you can't control something like that --

Nik: I should. (Nikolas finally breaks his staring contest with the wall. He looks over at Lucky.) I can't just DO thinks like that Lucky. I can flirt with a girl. I can charm her, tease her, even take her out for coffee. But I can't fall in love with her. I can't... I just can't.

Lucky: You can now.

Nik: Lucky...

Lucky: You want some advice?

Nik: No.

Lucky: Then consider it your sentence, Nik. You don't talk about her. Ever. You have to do something about that you drive yourself crazy.

Nik: Every time I think about her... Really think about her... Like close my eyes, and see her face, imagine her voice... It hurts so much, I think I'm going to asphyxiate. (Nikolas takes a very careful breath) So I don't. Because if I do, I don't think I'll make it through another night. And that's all I can say right now. And you've strayed from the structure, Lucky.

Lucky: Damn. Too bad my trials over, Nik. You could add it to my list of charges.

Nik: Do you really want to talk to me? Is that what you're suggesting? Or are you just saying I should talk to someone. Like... who? Who, Lucky? My nearest and dearest friends? My father? A whole lot of people who never even MET Hannah, and probably don't think she was good for me anyway? Besides, the only person I was close to besides YOU tried to throw our mother off a cliff and died for his efforts. I'm a little short on confidants. You know... When I was about to shoot you, I don't know how much of that stuff you actually MEANT, Lucky... but you got one thing right. Twisted as it might be, you're probably the best friend I've ever had. At least I know you aren't going to feed my sister to a tank of sharks, or throw my mother into the Aegean. (Lucky stares at Nikolas, a little stunned)

Lucky: How long have you been hanging on to that one? (Nikolas looks away, more than a little embarrassed at what he just let come out of his mouth)

Nik: It's been a long... life. I'm tired. I'm... I'm just messed up, Lucky. You don't have a monopoly on that, you know. (Lucky looks at his brother. Something becomes clear to him -- grabs him. He realizes something -- something he has to do.)

Lucky: (quietly) If you want to talk, talk, Nikolas. If you have something to say, you should just say it.

Nik: Yeah, that always goes so well. I say something, you tell me to get away, or leave, or... something. Why the hell do I even bother?

Lucky: (Shrugging) I don't know. You tell me.

Nik: (rapid change of topic) And I know you're mad at me anyway. I know... I totally messed things up. You want to talk about reckless endangerment? Trusting Josef. Even with something as simple as NOT trying to destroy my brother's life --

Lucky: (a bit unsteadily) Nik --

Nik: And I know! I know losing Emily is the worst thing that you can think of. It must have been your worst nightmare, when she disappeared, and I let that happen! (Lucky doesn't say anything for a long time. His heart is beating a little too rapidly in his chest. His mouth feels really dry. Nikolas is just being... strange. He tells himself that, firmly. He's messed up, he said so himself, and so what if everything he's saying makes sense, that doesn't mean he means it, and... Oh, to hell with it. Lucky leans back against the wall again, putting his hands over his stomach. He's so sick of this. And he's too damned tired to deal with it anymore. It's time. It's just time.)

Lucky: (Heavily) Nik.

Nik: (pushing himself up) Look, are you feeling better, because maybe I should just --

Lucky: I talked to my father. (Nikolas stops. After a moment he sags back against the wall. Luke Spencer. Perfect.)

Nik: How'd that go.

Lucky: You were right. The forgiveness thing. Pretty much got a full acquittal. He says... He says it was... stuff he did. Made it impossible... (Lucky shakes his head) You know, I don't even care anymore. I... I can't figure it out, I can't even remember how it all happened -- I just know it did. And this is where I ended up. But... What he said to you about Helena. About facing what you did, and what you are... and living with it. That made sense.

Nik: Yeah. I thought so too. (Lucky looks down at the floor. He squints hard, like he's trying to see beyond the linoleum. His fathers words are reverberating in his head, making one hell of a racket. Face up to what you did. Did his Dad really know what that meant? Probably not... Because Lucky's just beginning to see what that really means. He coughs.)

Lucky: Nik... On the island. I hadn't... See, I hadn't just lost Emily. (He coughs) I ... I didn't know where you were, man. I didn't know if Helena had you, or if you'd just left, or --

Nik: (a bit stunned) You were scared. (Lucky shifts uncomfortably, away from Nikolas)

Lucky: Just don't do anything like that again, Ok?

Nik: I didn't think you'd... Josef was supposed to tell you I'd left on business.

Lucky: Josef. Yeah. Trustworthy minion you had there. I was supposed to believe him? (Nikolas smiles slightly)

Nik: (shaky) I mentioned naive and stupid as charges, right?

Lucky: I have to tell you something. (Nikolas feels himself go cold. He responds, though, as steadily as he can manage)

Nik: Ok.

Lucky: Because... This isn't some big confession, Ok? It's just... what's going on. (Lucky runs a hand through his hair, swearing under his breath. His stomach is tied so tightly, he's not sure how he's managing to breath. As he starts to talk, he begins to feel like he's not actually in his body anymore. More like he's just hovering above himself, watching this from a distance) I... I can't remember the last time I really... could stand myself. There are times when... Things are really pretty Ok. But... it's never GREAT. (he looks over at Nikolas. His eyes are a little watery.) You don't know what I was like before I met you. (Nikolas just shakes his head in agreement, unable to actually make any words come out.) I wasn't this... angry. I was actually pretty easygoing. And I never even asked questions like "What am I doing" or "How can I make this worse". I just didn't. It wasn't a part of my world. (Lucky pushes out his breath) But it is now. And I'm sick of it. It's gotta end. (he shakes his head) You know I asked Emily to marry me? (Nikolas blinks. What?)

Nik: Wh...When?

Lucky: About ten minutes before your Grandmother had me brought in for execution.

Nik: Good timing.

Lucky: I meant it.

Nik: I know.

Lucky: I... Want to stop making her miserable. I want to actually have a shot at making her happy. And... I want to be a good brother to my sister again. I want to be able to talk to my father again. And I want to be able to have a conversation with my mother -- (Lucky's throat tightens) Where I don't make her cry. I just want to have a life again. And I can't do that, if I don't... say something to you.

Nik: I'm listening.

Lucky: My Dad... Said... That... (Lucky pulls a breath as deeply into his lungs as he can manage) He said that he made things impossible for me, because he never made it all right... to... (Christ, how is he supposed to say this) He never made it Ok for me to love my brother. (Nikolas moves back from Lucky like he's just been hit)

Nik: Whoa. (Lucky's eyes flit around the corridor, refusing to go in any direction that might make them meet with Nikolas)

Lucky: Yeah. Kinda mind blowing, huh? (Nikolas just shakes his head. Reeling. That's the only word for what his mind is doing right now. He struggles to make words, finally managing to push something out after several false starts.)

Nik: Is he right?

Lucky: (quietly) I don't know. (there's a long long silence) Probably. (Nikolas feels like he can't breath. Oh... God. What did Lucky just say? He shakes his head)

Nik: I... don't --

Lucky: (spitting it out) I kept the secret for you, Ok? That's... That's the truth. I kept it because... you were alone, and you could barely talk, and... No, yeah, I HATED you. I'd tried to... I don't know... "reach out" or whatever you call it. And you made it pretty clear that

Nik: I DID want you around.

Lucky: You didn't act like it.

Nik: I know. I know. But I did. Lucky -- look at me. (Lucky shakes his head. He keeps staring at the floor.) When you start your life out with a rejection like... Having your mother leave... You get a little guarded. And then, when you keep getting that first lesson hammered into you over and over again -- by psychotic grandmothers, and all the people around you who are feeding this myth -- this myth where you aren't just left by your mother, but you're left for a man who killed your father -- and you're replaced with HIS son, and... You start to close yourself off to people. You start to make them PROVE themselves. You put them through tests, and you make them jump through hoops, and THEN you start to let them in, because otherwise... You just know they're all going to leave you all over again. And... You keep thinking if one more person leaves you, then you might... not... recover. That someday, someone is going to break you. And that'll be it. (Lucky finally looks over at Nikolas, who is now avoiding HIS gaze.) I'm sorry. I'm sorry I treated you like that. I'm sorry I didn't know how to just be honest with you. I didn't know how to handle it. And I hurt you. I didn't know I could, Lucky. You have to know that. If I thought I really could have... (He shakes his head) God, this is sad.

Lucky: Yeah, well. We've always done a pretty good job at pathetic.

Nik: I want a brother. (Nikolas lets the words hang there. Gives Lucky a moment to digest them -- to really HEAR them. Lucky just stares down at his hands.) I want YOU as my brother. There. I said it. (Lucky still says nothing. Nikolas finds his words speeding up as he talks) Maybe it's not going to be traditional, but when did we ever pretend to be normal? I know we never agree on anything, we're always going to fight about everything, but... I don't want to let go. This is twisted, maybe, but in a way... You and Emily are as close to a normal family as I've ever gotten. At least you don't pretend to be my cousin instead of my brother. (Lucky laughs, in spite of himself, and looks away.) So it's insane. But we have the same mother, the same sister, and... a lot of the same vested interests. Maybe the fact that it took both of us to kill Helena was a sign. You know? That we actually did it? Maybe..... There's a way.... For us to be... (Lucky looks back at him)

Lucky: Family?

Nik: I'm out of my mind, aren't I? (Lucky lets out his breath)

Lucky: Maybe... We're just going to be whatever we are. And... it'll work out. Somehow.

Nik: I... (Nikolas stops. Damnit.) I just said way too much, didn't I?

Lucky: (Slowly) No. You didn't. (Lucky closes his eyes. He knows that it must have been nearly impossible for Nikolas to actually say he WANTED a brother. So why is it so hard for him to admit the same thing? Because... he's still not sure what it means) Emily said something to me once... About family. She said that you got it two ways -- blood, or shared experience. AJ's her brother, because they both know what it's like to live in that mansion. (Lucky opens his eyes and looks over at Nikolas) He drives her crazy, but... (Lucky sighs.) We always had blood. It was everything else that was messed up. (Lucky groans and sinks both hands into his hair) I don't know what I'm saying. I don't know. (he just stares straight ahead for a long moment, then lifts his head) This is never going to be easy. You and me... We're never going to be simple. Are we?

Nik: No.

Lucky: Just as long as we understand that.

Nik: We do. And... if we... do this. If we made this whole deal we had -- this combining of forces thing... permanent --

Lucky: There are going to be problems.

Nik: There are always problems.

Lucky: True.

Nik: and the one person who would be... completely... (Nikolas lets the sentence die)

Lucky: Mom always wanted us to work things out. (He lets out his breath) I can't make this about her. I... I just can't. Not right now.

Nik: So what if we just make it about us? (Lucky looks up at Nikolas. They look at each other for a long moment. Finally Lucky puts out his hand. Nikolas looks down at it like it's some kind of foreign object) Lucky: (quietly) I can live with that. (Nikolas looks back up at him) Peace? (the word hits Nikolas hard. Harder than he imagined it could. He bows his head. Yes. That's exactly what he wants. He's never thought about it, but that's what he's really wanted all along) Nik: Yeah. Yeah, I'm up for that. (he puts out his hand and clasps Lucky's. Lucky squeezes his hand back with surprising intensity. It communicates something, silently, that Nikolas realizes Lucky just can't say out loud. Something he's probably not ready to deal with either. They just look at each other, gripping hands, and letting the moment be. Finally, they let go. Lucky clears his throat)

Lucky: Let's go see our mother.

The Hotel lobby, nearing nine o'clock.

Emily walks out of the dinning room with Lulu's hand in hers. She's dressed for diner -- wearing another piece of salvaged clothing -- the sun dress she bought in Italy. It feels very strange to her -- both the putting on of clothing that feels like it came from another life -- and to be walking around as Emily Quartermaine, in public. She keeps feeling pinpricks on the back of her neck -- like she's being watched -- only to turn and find nothing behind her. It's unnerving. And she wonders if this is the kind of paranoia Lucky always jokes keeps him alive. It's not pleasant... but it gives her an odd sensation of having been changed. Of having been stamped with the mark -- she's more than an outsider looking in on the Spencer family. She's becoming one of them.

On the heels of THAT realization, having dinner with Luke was incredibly therapeutic -- something she never thought she'd say about Lucky's father. She'd ALWAYS liked Luke, but she'd never felt all THAT comfortable with him. But, given the upheaval of the last few months, she was surprised at how easy he was to be with. No explanations necessary, no need to cover anything up. He just accepted what was in front of him.

She'd talked while Luke had drank and smoked, and Lulu had played with her dinner. Emily had a little wine, and a little more dinner, but it was hard for her to really concentrate on any of it. Mostly, she'd told road stories -- steering clear of the ones that involved Lucky too deeply. Luke seemed suitably impressed with her daring escape from the Sant' Anna Hotel in Rome. He'd laughed at her description of trying to look cool while drinking warm vodka. It was great -- talking to someone who wasn't going to look freaked out when she explained how steep the roof of the hotel had been. Wasn't going to blanch and tell her to stay away from that Spencer boy while she explained how long it took to find the motorized canoe that got them out of Canada and onto Grand Island. And particularly, who would find it funny that the car they stole caught on fire. It helped Emily see everything a little differently. The parts that were exciting, that were an adventure... that were great stories, now that she knew that she'd survived them.

There were shadows behind everything, of course. Her mind flitted over images of Hannah in the morgue, or fighting with Lucky at the Russian Tea Room, and countless moments of being so angry, frustrated, scared, that she thought she was going to burst. And there were other things... even further under the surface, threatening to boil over. She knew, with a near certainty, that they were going to waiting for her around some corner. A few times, she'd felt short of breath for no apparent reason, and see Josef's eyes floating in front of her. She found herself rubbing her neck self-consciously. She'd covered up the bruises a little with make-up, but they were still there. She was beginning to wonder if maybe she'd feel them for the rest of her life.

She'd be fine. She'd be fine -- Lucky would show up, and they could cry on each other's shoulders. Lucky WANTED to take care of her, she reminded herself. And she knew she could take care of him. And somewhere, in all that... they'd find a balance. They'd find a peace. She'd actually get some sleep.

Emily stops, turning back to the hotel, and waiting for Luke, who is having some conversation with a cigar enthusiast at the bar, to join them. Lulu tugs on her hand. She looks down.

Em: What is it, Lu?

Lu: Will you still be here tomorrow?

Em: I think I'll be here as long as you are.

Lu: Really?

Em: Really.

Lu: And are you going to come home with us?

Em: (laughing) To Port Charles. I think I'll be staying with MY family, though.

Lu: But you'll visit. Like before.

Em: Of course.

Lu: And Mommy will come home too? (Ouch. Emily looks away from the door to the restaurant and down into Lulu's hopeful face.)

Em: We'll see, Lulu. (Lulu's optimistic expression immediately fades)

Lu: Everyone says that. (Emily nods)

Em: We don't know what's going to happen yet. Sometimes it's like that when people are hurt. (Lulu studies Emily's face, then nods gravely)

Lu: Like with your Mommy. She died. (Emily straightens up at that. She blinks.)

Em: Yes. (She lets out her breath) Yes, she did. (Lulu's grip on Emily's hand tightens)

Lu: Do you miss her? (Emily turns to Lulu and kneels down so that they are on eye level.)

Em: Yes. I miss her.

Lu: (whispering) I miss my Mommy, too. (Emily's eyes fill with tears. She nods.)

Em: I know you do. (She opens her arms to the little girl. Lulu reaches up and hugs her, and Emily closes her arms around her. She speaks softly into Lulu's ear) I know it's hard not to know what's going to happen, Lulu. But you know, what is happening with your Mommy is very different from what happened to mine. (Emily stokes Lulu's hair lightly with her hand) I wish I could tell you everything will be Ok, but... (Emily pulls back to look Lulu in the eyes) No matter what happens -- You have two brothers who love you to death. And you have a great Daddy. And you have me. I know that doesn't help you not miss your Mommy. But it does mean you have people who feel the same way. And sometimes that makes it a little easier.

Lu: I'm glad you didn't die, Emily. (Emily lets out a sharp laugh)

Em: So am I!

Lu: (softly) Is Lucky coming soon? (Emily nods)

Em: Yes. He is. He's -- (Something catches Emily's eye, and she looks up across the lobby to see an almost unrecognizable figure standing across the lobby watching them. It takes her a moment to digest who she's seeing, because she's just so surprised to see him. Just standing there -- watching her. Their eyes meet, and he raises a hand in greeting. Emily beams.) Lulu. Turn around. (Lulu turns around, following Emily's gaze, her brow knit. She spots her brother standing by the revolving doors, and lets out a yelp)

Lu: LUCKY! (Lulu pulls away from Emily and starts to run across the lobby. Lucky grins, and starts his own run towards his sister, meeting her halfway and grabbing her under her arms, sweeping her up into the air)

Lucky: Hey kiddo. (Lulu kicks her legs wildly, completely incapable of controlling her excitement.)

Lu: You're back! You came back. You really came back! (Lucky spins her around, then brings her against his chest, adjusting his grip on her so that he can give her a big hug.)

Lucky: Of course I came back. I told you I would. (Lulu squeals)

Lulu: Emily said she's going to stay with us until it's time to go home, did you know that?

Lucky: Yeah. Yeah, she told me. (He adjusts Lulu, so that he's holding her on his hip. He groans) Man! You're getting heavy. (Lulu twists in his arms to look back at Emily)

Lu: EMILY! It's Lucky!

Em: (approaching) I can see that. (She looks at Lucky, giving him a knowing smile) Hello.

Lucky: Hi.

Em: You made it, huh?

Lucky: I told you I would.

Em: Yeah. You did. I just didn't expect you to look so... (She frowns, searching his eyes with hers. He looks tired. Spent. Pale. And yet... something else) Are you Ok?

Lucky: Yeah. (He frowns) Yeah, I am. Why? (Emily frowns. She's not sure why she's asking. Then she realizes something. Something in Lucky's demeanor, in his eyes. She shakes her head.)

Em: You look... Kind of happy. (Lucky laughs slightly, and adjusts his grip on his little sister)

Lucky: Hey, I'm with two of my favorite women on the planet -- why wouldn't I be? (Emily just looks at him, his expression unreadable. Lucky reaches out and slips his arm around her waist) I'll tell you about it later. (Lucky kisses Emily's cheek lightly, pulling her closer to him. Emily laughs and allows Lucky to reel her towards him. Lulu has her arms around Lucky's neck, and Emily slides her arms around his waist hugging him. Lucky chuckles) Ok. This is quite the greeting. I should go away more often.

Lulu: NO!

Em: He's kidding, Lu. (Emily shakes her head, and looks up at Lucky) He's teasing you. (Emily disengages herself from the hug) You're back for good.

Lucky: Yeah. (he looks over at his sister) I am. (he brushes Lulu's hair out of her eyes) Boy I missed you, Kid.

Lulu: Me too. You were gone FOREVER.

Lucky: Yeah, felt that way, huh?

Lulu: Lucky?

Lucky: Yeah?

Lulu: Can you read me my bedtime story tonight?

Lucky: (smiling) I'd be honored. (he looks at her in mock suspicion) Isn't it a bit past your bedtime?

Lulu: (shaking her head) Nuh uh. I'm not tired.

Em: The rapid switch of time zones is sort of messing with everyone's sense of... Uh...

Lucky: Continuity.

Em: Something like that.

Lucky: (turning his attention to Lulu) Ok, Lu. (He pulls her away from her and puts her back on the ground, crouching down in front of him) What do you want to read? (Lulu frowns. This is a serious question)

Lulu: Ummmm... (She suddenly brightens and looks up at Lucky) The Magicians Apprentice! (Lucky shakes his head)

Lucky: I should have known you'd bring that one all the way over here.

Lulu: It's my favorite! And Nikolas got it from... (She stops). Oh. (Lucky frowns)

Lucky: What is it?

Lulu: Daddy told me something about Nikolas. He said he was going to get better and that he'd probably call me soon.

Lucky: Daddy did, huh?

Lulu: Uh huh.

Lucky: You know, I just saw Nikolas. (He smoothes her hair again) And he wanted me to tell you... that he misses you. And he's feeling better. And... You know what? I don't think we should wait for him to call. I think you and me had better go over there tomorrow and see him. (Lulu blinks. Beside Lucky, Emily looks a little stunned herself.)

Lulu: Really?

Lucky: Yeah, really.

Lulu: Will Daddy say it's Ok?

Lucky: Leave Dad to me. It's been a long time, your brother needs to see you. It'll be good for him.

Lulu: Can we bring him a story?

Lucky: (laughing) Can we bring HIM a story... Yeah. Ok. Whatever you want. (Lucky feels Emily's hand on his shoulder. She gently rubs it, a soothing gesture. He glances up at her and smiles, then turns his attention to Lulu) Look... I have to tell you something. (Lulu immediate stiffens)

Lulu: What?

Lucky: It's not bad. (he reaches out and takes Lulu's hand) Lulu -- don't look so scared. It's Ok. I'm back, right? Everything's going to be Ok. (Lulu still looks wary) Man, you've been having a rough time, huh? (Lu looks away and shrugs) I'm sorry about that. I really am. If I could have stayed in Port Charles, I would have.

Lulu: I know.

Lucky: But... I wanted to tell you something. You remember that promise I made you? About Nikolas.

Lulu: You said you'd make sure he was Ok.

Lucky: Yeah. That he's come home. And he is. You got that, right?

Lulu: Yeah.

Lucky: Well... Nikolas and I were talking... And... uh... Tomorrow, when we see him. (Lucky takes a breath. This feels really strange.) I don't want you worrying about us fighting. Or any of that stuff. I know it's pretty rough being both of our sister, cause we don't always get along so well. But... That's going to be different now. Do you understand what I mean? (Lulu shakes her head) Ok. (Lucky looks down. How does he say this to her?) Things aren't going to be the way they were before we left. Nik and I... We're pretty different people. But... We're not going to be like we were before. Ok? We're going to try to be... brothers. (Lucky feels Emily's hand on his shoulder tighten, involuntarily) So you don't have to worry about us like you used to. You get that?

Lulu: You're going to talk to each other?

Lucky: Yeah. Yeah, we've been talking to each other for a while now, Lu. We just decided... To keep doing it. Things aren't going to be easy. We're... Hey, we're Spencers, kid. So that's not news. But I don't want you worrying about everyone else, Ok? Dad... Nikolas and I. We'll work things out. It's gonna be better. You believe me? (Lulu is still looking at Lucky a little warily. Suddenly, she breaks into a grin and hurtles herself into his arms)

Lulu: I'm glad you're back.

Lucky: (hugging her back) Yeah, so am I. (Lucky looks up at Emily, who is still standing behind him. She's looking at him like he's just come back from the dead. There are tears standing in her eyes, and when she blinks, they fall. Lucky frowns, and loosens his grip on Lulu and stands up. Lulu looks up at

Lulu: Emily?

Lucky: You Ok? (Emily's answer is to laugh. She waves her hand at him and turns his face away. Tears are still streaming down her cheeks. Lucky reaches out and turns her back to face him) Emily. What's wrong?

Em: (still laughing) I don't know. I'm just... really happy to see you.

Lucky: I wasn't gone that long. (Emily looks up at him, her eyes shinning. He looks back at her, his eyes clear, blue... familiar. Not clouded. Not particularly tortured. Just... there. She shakes her head)

Em: Yeah... (She brushes his hair back from his face with her hand) You were. (Lucky looks at her a moment, then his bravado falters. He smiles at her, sadly, and reaches out, pulling her close to him again. He puts his head down on her shoulder and hugs her tightly. Emily hugs him back with startling ferocity)

Lucky: You know me too well.

Em: So it's been said. (Lucky raises his head and brushes his lips against her ear)

Lucky: (softly) It's going to be Ok.

Em: (hiccuping) I know. (She shakes her head, grinding it against his shoulder) I know.

Luke: (approaching) Looks like I missed something. (Lucky raises his head and looks over to see

Lulu: Look! Lucky's back!

Luke: Yeah. So I see. Hey. (Lucky lets out his breath. Stomach still knots at the sight of his father. Some things... Take longer than others, he decides. Too late and he's too tired to get into anything now. He straightens up)

Lucky: You look like you're keeping an eye on everything.

Emily: (pulling back, wiping her eyes) We had dinner. The three of us. I was telling your Dad some of the things that happened while we were gone. (She gives a faltering smile) Like the car that blew up, stuff like that. (Lucky smirks at her)

Lucky: Right. Just the highlights. (Emily shrugs. Lucky leans over and kisses her -- it's light and quick, but she knows what it means. Don't worry. It's really Ok. She burst into tears again. Lucky pulls back and looks at her with concern -- and a bit of amazement)

Lucky: Em.

Em: I'm Ok. I am! I'm just... Tired. I think I'm tired. (She feels Lulu take her hand, pulling on it in order to get her attention. Emily looks down at her)

Lulu: Would you like to listen to a story too?

Lucky: That's kind of her answer to everything. (Emily nods. Man, she can't believe she's doing this. Sobbing all over the place in front of LULU. Argh. She squeezes the girl's hand)

Em: Yeah. Yeah, I think I could use a good story. Should we go get one?

Lulu: Ok. I'll show you were they are. (Lulu starts to drag Emily to the elevators, then turns and looks back at Lucky expectantly)

Lucky: I'll be up in a minute, Lu.

Lu: (sighing) Ok. (she continues to pull Emily away. Lucky watches them go. Luke lets out a low whistle)

Luke: Christ, Cowboy. What did you do to her? (Lucky feels a twinge of defensiveness. He glances over at his father, and sees it's unfounded. He shrugs, instead of leaping down his throat)

Lucky: Really not sure. (He looks over at Luke. He opens his mouth to say something, and then decides to let it pass.)

Luke: Something on your mind?

Lucky: Nothing we need to talk about right now.

Luke: Emily said you went to see your mother. (Lucky nods) How'd she look?

Lucky: (after a pause) Pretty awful. (he shakes the image off. Laura had looked just as bad as he'd expected. Probably worse) But I did it.

Luke: You have my respect for that. (Lucky looks up at him)

Lucky: I'm... going to have to do a lot of stuff. I... I'm beginning to see just how much. And I think you're gonna hate a lot of it.

Luke: I'll deal. I mean that, Lucky. I'll find a way. (Lucky nods)

Lucky: Yeah. Ok. (he runs a hand through his hair quickly) Just take it as it comes, right?

Luke: Right. I got your back. That doesn't change. (Lucky closes his eyes. Still hard to hear. He shakes it off)

Lucky: I have a bed story to read.

Luke: Yeah, I bet. Don't let me keep you. And hey -- When you find your girlfriend... Give her a big hug.

Lucky: Is that an order?

Luke: Suggestion. (Lucky nods. He looks over at the bank of elevators. Lulu and Emily are gone)

Lucky: That one... I think I'll take.