Chapter Two Hundred:
Missing Pieces

The Cove, Cassadine Island.

Lucky sits on the rock he and Nikolas leapt off of almost twenty-four hours earlier and stares out at the water, his eyes so bright they look like they could burn through the sky.

He could kill him. At this moment, he has never felt more capable of bodily harm towards Nikolas. He knew the second he saw Nikolas's room empty what must be going on. Because he had suspected that Nikolas already knew... As Lucky as walked down that hall to tell him about Hannah, he had just KNOWN that Nikolas knew what the yacht meant and that he was keeping it from him. And that meant nothing except disaster.

But he'd been too late. He'd been too late and Nikolas was gone. That much he was sure of, even as he'd come here, even as he'd grasped at the few straws that suggested he was just taking a walk, just taking a break from everything...

He hadn't been able to tell Emily why he was so sure Nikolas was gone, he hadn't been able to make the words come out of his mouth... Hell, he wasn't even sure he knew what the words were. But there had been moments in the past month where Lucky had looked at Nikolas and just known what was going on in that dark Cassadine head of his. None more than that night after Hannah died, when Nikolas had pinned him against the staircase and he'd looked right into his eyes and just known... Nikolas wanted vengeance. Nikolas wanted to inflict pain. Nikolas was going on a quest.

And that quest was going to get Nikolas in trouble. WHY didn't Nikolas ever LISTEN to that part? He might know the kings of England and quote the facts historical, but he was a couple of paces off being a modern major general.

God DAMN him, God damn him for being this stupid, Lucky thinks, not sure who he's angrier at -- Nikolas or himself. Nikolas might know anger, but he didn't know what it would do to him. He didn't know how much trouble this could get him into. And he didn't know how to make it clean, he had no idea what to do to protect himself.

They had never discussed a plan -- not in any real terms. And Lucky had his own reasons why. First of all... He didn't think Nikolas was going to make it through. He really hadn't. Starting out on all of this, it had been clear to him that Nikolas couldn't have been playing with a full deck. No one has the love of their life die and bounces back that quick. He was in denial something fierce. Lucky had a feeling that, in the end, he'd be staring down Helena alone.

And secondly...

Secondly, he could barely admit this part. But it was true.

Secondly... He didn't know how to do this alone.

That sounded ridiculous. He'd done things on his own all his life. Everyone always said that about him -- he was independent, he was iconoclastic. Self-sufficient. And it probably looked that way to everyone.

But it was the biggest lie of his life. Lucky had NEVER known true independence. He'd always had his dad. Even when his father wasn't actually THERE in body, he had him. He'd known what to do because he'd know what Luke would do.

Now he couldn't even make himself think. He went blank the moment his brain tried to go there. That was why he'd let things stall here, that was why he didn't push harder for something to happen. He hadn't known what to do> He hadn't trusted himself to pull it off. He was fraying from the inside out. Maybe he could still pull off a reasonable facsimile of Lucky Spencer, but inside? Inside he was eating himself alive. Nothing would fix that. Nothing would make this better. He was losing his grip on who he was, he was losing his ability to do everything. And this proved it. He'd lost the gun, he'd let Nikolas leave and now...

Now he was stuck. Sitting here thinking that he wanted to spill his brother's blood. When really, the only blood he was interested in seeing was his own.

Lucky stands up suddenly and shakily, nearly stumbling off the rock. No. No, no... He's not going down this road. He has to have this in him. God, some part of him has to be able to figure this out and solve it. And sitting here isn't going to be the things that helps him.

And either way... Even if he failed... At least he'd know for certain. He'd know just what he was made of.

The Chimera, The waters of the Aegean

Nikolas stands on the lower deck dressed entirely in black, his hands clasped behind his back as he stares hard at the horizon. The sky, right off on the edge of the horizon was taking on a pallor he didn't like the look of. It was hard to care too much -- he had more important things on his mind than the weather... He has been here for hours and his grandmother has yet to make an appearance. That's all right, he didn't expect she would. Helena always opted for drama, that much he knew. And she seemed to want him to feel like he belonged here, like this place was his as much as anyone else's, before she faced him.

He'd left late last night, and taken the speed boat out to meet a larger boat, which Josef and the driver had followed. They'd anchored the larger boat within sight of the yacht and then taken the speed boat out to board the yacht. Josef had been sent back to the island to ensure Lucky and Emily's safety while Nikolas was here. He had careful instructions to let Lucky know that everything was in hand and to just sit tight and wait for Nikolas to contact him.

Josef hadn't been thrilled with the circumstances. That didn't concern Nikolas all that much. First of all, Josef had never been anything but fiercely loyal to him from that day he'd passed his "test" on. And secondly... Lucky could take care of himself. Hell, Lucky seemed to think he could take care of everyone. But enough was enough. This was Cassadine business and Lucky Spencer was not going to have any part of it. Not while it was left up to Nikolas.

He hears the door behind him slide open. There are the sounds of a tray being placed on a table. Drinks are poured. There are footsteps and the doors slides closed. Nikolas finally deigns to turn around.

Nik: Grandmother. (Helena stands before him in a long silk caftan, her hair wrapped in a matching turban. She smiles, and puts her hands out in a gesture that clearly requests Nikolas to take them)

Helena: Oh, my darling! (Nikolas looks at her hands, then back to her eyes, not moving. She moves forward) I am so glad you came. (Nikolas takes a step back. Helena drops her hands, looking slightly injured.) I am sorry to keep you waiting.

Nik: I came here to satisfy you, nothing more. (Helena blinks)

Helena: Satisfy me... Whatever do you mean?

Nik: Your phone call yesterday notwithstanding... You've been sending me a very clear message for the last few months. I got sick of the signals. I thought it was time I sent my own message.

Helena: Am... Am I to assume you've come here and graced me with your presence simply to tell me that you don't intend to speak to me?

Nik: I intend to put a stop to your games, Grandmother.

Helena: Oh.... My. My, but you do sound like my son, don't you? (She shakes her head sadly) I can only imagine the things he's filled your head with.

Nik: My head is fine, I can assure you.

Helena: (smiling) Yes. Yes, my dear, I'm sure it is. You've always been so strong -- so resilient. Despite Stefan's coddling. (Nikolas tenses)

Nik: Don't presume to know anything about me, Grandmother. We haven't spent anything resembling "quality time" together since I was seven.

Helena: (moving to him again) Yes! And can you imagine how painful that has been for me?

Nik: (Putting a hand up to stop her) I don't care to imagine. I'm here to tell you that I've had enough. Not just of you, but of Stefan as well. If you have something to tell me -- if you have something you WANT from me, from this moment further -- you deal with me. Not my uncle, not my aunt, not my mother -- me. Do you understand?

Helena: That is all I have ever wanted. (Nikolas gives her a level look)

Nik: I know what you want.

Helena: What do you think that is? I can't imagine what Stefan would have said to you... Probably that I wanted to control you? That I wanted to rule your life? (Nikolas says nothing) Certainly he would never have suggested that I missed you. That I regretted the way I have been shut out of your life for all these years. (Nikolas shakes his head)

Nik: NOT... (he closes his eyes, and takes a breath) Now. I don't want to hear your lies anymore than I want to hear his. (He looks back at her) I'm here to tell you that I know what you want. You want me. (Helena looks at him, surprised, then lets a soft smile appear on her lips)

Helena: Oh, darling... I only want a little bit of your time. Nothing more.

Nik: You want my time? I might be able to grant that. But you have to do something for me.

Helena: Anything. You know that. ANYTHING. (Nikolas takes a breath)

Nik: Leave everyone else out of it. Leave Lucky and Emily on the island -- don't you dare try to do something to them. (Helena's eyes widen)

Helena: What do you think --

Nik: Oh, please. Lucky is the son of the man who killed your son. I can only imagine the plans you'd have for him if you ever got your hands on him.

Helena: (stepping back) Nikolas! (She looks away) So it's true. (She looks away) That he's at the island? That a Spencer is staying within Cassadine walls of his own free will?

Nik: He was providing a service. But that is over. I want him left alone. I want his family left alone. Do you understand? You stay away from them -- from all of them. Then maybe we'll talk.

Helena: Are... Are you leaving then? (Nikolas gives a slow, dark smile)

Nik: Are you allowing me to?

Helena: Of course! You think I would keep you here against your will?

Nik: (testing) Then perhaps I'll be on my way right now.

Helena: And that may prove difficult... (she indicates a ships radio, off but sitting on a table to the side) There is a storm coming in -- it should hit the island by tonight. And I'm a great deal off shore now. At your request. It's simply too dangerous for me to let my only living grandson go out in that weather. I can't allow you to risk yourself.

Nik: Somehow I'm not shocked.

Helena: Please. I know it is asking more than you think you can possibly grant to ask you to trust me -- But you... You must consider certain things --

Nik: Oh, I have. I've considered everything.

Helena: You've considered the truth as you know it. There are things you don't know. There are things Stefan has told you -- do you really think he's told you everything? (Nikolas looks away) Darling. He lies to you. You know that. Even now -- your truths come from a man who does not understand the meaning of the word. (She puts her hand over her heart) Stefan is my son. I carried him, I gave birth to him, I raised him... And he turned on me. You can't imagine the pain -- (Nikolas gives a derisive laugh, and moves away from her)

Nik: You're unbelievable. You're beyond... Anything. (Helena's hand tightens into a fist as she watches Nikolas's back) Stefan has never given me a reason to trust him. (He glances back at her) But neither have you.

Helena: I've never been given the chance! Nikolas, why do you think I can't just leave you to your life! I would if I only believed that you really understood what was going on. If you knew the depths of the legacy you represent.

Nik: You may be surprised by what I know.

Helena: And you may be floored by what you don't. (Nikolas stares at her, his eyes searching hers)

Nik: I did plan to stay here. I want to keep an eye on you.

Helena: Is that all you want to do?

Nik: No. No, there are truths I thought you should know as well.

Helena: Oh... Oh, Nikolas. (she puts a hand to her head) I have hoped this day would come. (She sinks onto a wicker chair) I... I feel ill prepared now that it has.

Nik: You're never ill prepared. (Helena gives a soft laugh)

Helena: Oh, the faith you have in me! My goodness, I can't believe Stefan allowed you to believe I was anything more than a bug to be squashed. (Nikolas closes his eyes again. He puts his hand on the railing of the deck and holds it tightly. Bug to be squashed... Or as Lucky liked to say -- exterminated. He feels lightheaded and swallows hard, trying to maintain his grip. Nothing else matters, he tells himself. Nothing else matters but this.) Nikolas? (Helena approaches him) Nikolas, you look pale. (Nikolas feels her hand snake around his shoulder and tenses, though he refuses to pull away) My dear boy. I know -- I have heard how badly things have gone for you. I just fear you --

Nik: Don't. (He pulls away, and turns to face her) Don't try to explain anything to me right now, just don't. (Nikolas's voice quakes and he runs a hand over his face. Calm down, he instructs himself. Don't fall apart now, for God's sake. Not after coming this far. Nikolas straightens up and pulls in a deep breath) If I can't leave... If we're agreed that neither of us is leaving... (He swallows hard) Then I suggest that we put all of this to rest. Now. (Helena smiles at him sadly)

Helena: Dear heart... You look unwell.

Nik: I'm fine.

Helena: You have been under an incredible strain. I know this. I have always known how you were, no matter what was going on. (She approaches him and reaches up to touch his cheek. Nikolas flinches and grabs her hand)

Nik: I think I would like to start by setting out ground rules, Grandmother. One -- You don't get to touch me. (Helena's eyes widen. Nikolas drops her hand)

Helena: Oh we do have a road ahead of us, Nikolas. I can see that.

Nik: (through gritted teeth) We have nothing ahead of us. Nothing but you coming to understand that my life is my own.

Helena: There is a little more to it than that. (She smiles, backing away from him) But I respect how you are feeling. Now, I ask you to please respect that... (She closes her eyes and pulls in a breath as if this is very trying for her) That is hurts me to know you think so little of me. (Nikolas clenches his hands. He has to get through this, he tells himself. He has to).

Nik: (as steadily as possible) Do you agree to keep this between the two of us. For now. For this one day.

Helena: Yes. Absolutely. But my dear... This is trying -- for both of us. I can see you need some time to collect yourself. There is a state room prepared for you. I can have diner sent there --

Nik: I'm not hungry.

Helena: If you are later. Perhaps. (she picks up the glass that was poured for her earlier and takes a long sip) I am finding myself rather... Unsettled as well. (She looks over at him, like she is some long sheltered old woman who has just been the subject of unnecessarily rough treatment) I think perhaps we both need to collect our thoughts. (Nikolas looks away. He knows where this is going. And it could work to his advantage...)

Nik: You do what you have to do. (He looks over at her) You are looking your age, Grandmother. Perhaps you should go get some rest.

Helena: I was going to suggest you and I speak later. Perhaps tomorrow morning.

Nik: Gee. Are you presenting me with a choice? Is this like your claim that I may leave but you can't allow it -- due to the weather?

Helena: I know your manservant departed back to the island after you boarded. I have my concerns about the length of time you could make that journey before the storm rolled in. Even to return to your boat -- It will be much safer to stay here. At least you know this vessel can withstand rough waters. (Nikolas shake his head, smiling ruefully. Whatever. He's more than willing to play this part her way.)

Nik: Very well, Grandmother. We'll make it a family reunion, shall we? A party. (Helena gives him a woeful look)

Helena: I think your feelings will change, once you hear everything I have to say. But I'm tried. And you are not at your best either. Let's make a date for tomorrow breakfast -- yes?

Nik: Oh, I'm gregarious. Let's make it lunch.

Helena: All the better. Now, if you'll excuse me, I feel I have to have a lie down.

Nik: I'll find my own way to my state room. (Nikolas gives her a cold smile) I hope you rest well.

Hallway to Guest Quarters, Cassadine Island.

Lucky walks down the hall, feeling like he's being run by remote control. He feels like he's a million miles away from everything. Nothing has shown up to give him the slightest clue what is going on. Just little pieces that form a bigger enigma. He can't remember the last time he felt this helpless. Although he suspects it wasn't too long ago. Was it Emily lying on the road? Or when he was holding Hannah and watching her bleed to death in front of him? Neither of those events felt like this. At least then he'd had some clue of what was going on. Some idea of just what kind of disaster was looming. All he knows right now is that doomsday is descending and no one has given him a glass of Kool-Aid.

Reaching the room, Lucky puts his hand on the doorknob and stops, taking in a breath. He's tired. He doesn't want to admit it, but all he wants right now is to tumbled into bed, let Emily hold him, and drift off into unconsciousness. Sleep used to do him so many favors. Every time he didn't know what was around the corner he had always been able to retreat into sleep for a few hours, telling himself that he needed some sleep, needed to replenish himself for the next day -- and that had given him hours of quiet where he didn't have to think. And when he woke up in the morning, the threat would still be there, but at least he'd had an eight hour break.

Sleep hadn't been that comforting to him in years. In fact, more often than not, it eluded him entirely. Sleep didn't take away guilt, or self-loathing. It didn't make you feel better about past mistakes. In a way he was grateful right now that his current situation outweighed his usual interior monologue. Hell, he had all the time in the world to go on hating himself. Right now, he had other things to deal with.

Smiling slightly at the absurdity of his situation, Lucky turns the door knob and enters the room, his eyes moving immediately to the bed where he expects Emily to be lying.

Empty.

Lucky closes his eyes. Spencer, do not panic, it is just an empty bed.

Just ANOTHER empty bed...

Right. Which is exactly why you're not going to go nuts. Take a breath... Ok, good. Now act like a human being.

Lucky opens his eyes and steps into the room.

Lucky: Em? (Silence. He turns and walks towards the balcony) Emily, I'm back. (He looks out the window. She's not there. Sure. That's fine. He looks over at the closed bathroom door, and listens, expecting to hear something. When he doesn't he moves across the room and knocks on the door) Em. (Nothing. Lucky fights to ignore the panic that WANTS to take hold of him. No, shut up, everything is fine. He opens the door, keeping his eyes on the floor) Are you... (he looks up in the direction of the bath tub, which is empty. Damnit! He hits his head against the door) Come on, don't do this to me. (he moves away from the door. So she's gone someplace else. Maybe she got hungry, maybe she wanted air, maybe.. Anything. She's got to be in the house. She wouldn't leave. She wouldn't do that to him.

She just wouldn't.

Lucky shakes his head, breathing that knowledge into him. Emily would know -- she'd just know -- that he wasn't exactly feeling stable right now. She'd know not to vanish on him. She'd just know that. She just WOULD.

Don't panic, Spencer. Don't.

Lucky takes in a deep breath. Ok. He wouldn't panic. But he'd sure as hell go looking for her. Lucky starts back to the door, but stops when something on the bed catches his eye. He looks over and sees something on the pillow. He frowns and moves over to it. He recognizes the item, but refuses to react at all even as he reaches and picks it up.

He takes it in his hand and turns it around a few times. The floor feels like it's dropping out from underneath him and his body goes cold. Cold like ice. He flips the ring in his hand again and looks down to read the inscription on the inside.

"Ich bein dein"

Lucky: What the hell...