Chapter Sixty-Six:
Haunted

Nikolas's Apartment.

Hannah enters the apartment hesitantly and stops just inside the door, in shock. The lights are dimmed, there is a fire in the fireplace (the fireplace having always made her nervous anyway), and music.... Beethoven.... Playing quietly. She wraps her arms around herself protectively.

Hannah: Nikolas? (There is no answer. She closes the door behind her warily. There is a fine line between romantic and spooky, especially when dealing with a Cassadine. That much she has learned. She unbuttons her coat, glancing around the room, unnerved by the number of shadows that mask the corners of the room. She slides the coat off of her shoulders and drapes it over a chair, her eyes falling on the spectacular view from the window by the stairs. She walks slowly toward it. The music suddenly explodes and she jumps, unprepared for the sudden discharge of notes.)

Nik: (from the shadows at the opposite end of the room) You said you liked music. (Hannah spins around to face the source of the voice, and Nikolas appears, almost out of thin air. She gasps, then struggles to retain her sense of calm.)

Hannah: I do. (Nikolas crosses the room slowly, walking towards her)

Nik: Do you like this music?

Hannah: (smiling nervously) Yes. Of course.

Nik: I'm not very familiar with popular music. But I used to listen to this a lot. This particular recording.

Hannah: It's Beethoven, isn't it?

Nik: (by rote) Beethoven's Fifth Piano Concerto. (Hannah stops and listens a moment)

Hannah: (quietly) It's beautiful.

Nik: It gets better. (Hannah lets herself relax slightly) I wanted you to hear it.

Hannah: Why?

Nik: It's.. It's something I thought I could show you. Something perhaps you weren't already familiar with. (Hannah smiles at him)

Hannah: I've noticed whenever I come here you're always much more formal with me. (Nikolas smiles, bowing his head slightly)

Nik: I know. It's how I was raised.

Hannah: But you aren't that way all the time.

Nik: The longer I'm here, the more I assimilate. I used to resist it, but.... There's something to be said for this way of life.

Hannah: What way of life?

Nik: Yours, for instance.

Hannah: (laughing) I don't HAVE a way of life.

Nik: Yes, you do. It's quiet and small, but it's yours. (Hannah shakes her head. Anyone else, she'd be tempted to swat with something) You've showed me a lot of it. I wanted to show you some of mine.

Hannah: So that's what this is? (Nikolas moves behind her, whispering in her ear.)

Nik: This is dinner. You still owe me one.

Hannah: (smiling) Still?

Nik: You got rid of me that night... You're not going to get rid of me tonight.

Hannah: (warily) I wouldn't be so sure of that --

Nik: Shh! (Nikolas hold up a hand. Hannah frowns at him) This is the part. You have to listen to this. (Hannah looks at him oddly, but obeys. Nikolas reaches out and pulls her towards him, his hands on her shoulders. She leans back against him and listens to the fading notes of the piano. A note rings out strongly, then there is a pause before the thundering of the piano resumes. It's a powerful arrangement, and Hannah shivers, partly in response to the music, and partly due to Nikolas's hand gently stroking the back of her neck. She turns her head slightly to look back at him) That is my favorite part. That pause. Only one pianist, Wilhelm Kempff, puts it in. It's not part of the written piece. (Hannah turns to face him)

Hannah: Your favorite part of your favorite music is silence?

Nik: I'm an admirer of silence. (Hannah sighs and leans against his chest. Nikolas wraps his arms around her)

Hannah: (sadly) So am I.

Nik: Is something wrong?

Hannah: I.... I have a silence I have to break. (She pulls back and looks up at him) And I can tell you're not going to make it easy.

Nik: (slightly nervous) Well... We can make an evening of it.

Hannah: We?

Nik: I said I wanted to show you something about my life. Well there are things I should tell you, too. Things I've tried to deny, or ignore that I can't anymore.

Hannah: I don't like the sound of this...

Nik: I've fallen in love with you, Hannah. And I don't want to destroy that because of silence. Because of secrets I shouldn't have kept. You have a right to know about my family. And I should have told you all of this a long time ago.

Hannah: Nikolas...

Nik: I have to say this. And I have to say it now. (Hannah turns away and walks a few steps away from him, her hands folded over her solar plexus. She stops and looks back at him)

Hannah: You aren't the one with the secrets, Nikolas.

Nik: Yes. I am.

Hannah: No. Not like mine.

Nik: Hannah. I know you don't want to hear this.

Hannah: Nikolas! Things are just fine the way they are. Are you sure you want to up the ante like this?

Nik: Yes.

Hannah: WHY?

Nik: I don't like to be in the dark.

Hannah: I thought you liked dark.

Nik: Not with you. Not anymore.

Hannah: Oh, Nikolas...

Nik: I wanted to tell you this morning, but we got sidetracked. About Lucky again.

Hannah: Lucky. He is the subject of the day.

Nik: Not for us. This isn't about him.

Hannah: Nikolas....

Nik: You keep saying my name like that. Like I'm exasperating you.

Hannah: Do you want me to stop?

Nik: I want you to listen.

Hannah: All right. All right, I will. But Nikolas, if you do this... If WE do this, then things won't ever be the same between us. You can't underestimate that.

Nik: I'm not.

Hannah: All right.

Nik: Hannah. I know that Lucky and Luke and probably even Emily have told you about the Cassadines. (Hannah frowns, and looks away from him) I don't know what they've said, but I can guess. That we're evil, that we --

Hannah: Actually Lucky specifically told me that you're not evil.

Nik: He what?

Hannah: He told me that you weren't evil. I think those were his exactly words.

Nik: You're trying to distract me.

Hannah: Guilty as charged.

Nik: It's not going to work. I have to say this.

Hannah: All right.

Nik: My family... We come from another era. And we don't fit in here. Not here, not anywhere, really. I grew up on an island -- and I've always felt it was a fitting metaphor. The Cassadine Family is an island unto itself. We are solitary, cut off from the rest of the world. And that's the way we like it. However, as much as people would like to deny it, I'm not all Cassadine. My mother was never truly one of them. She belongs to a different world entirely. A world I used to look down on as being common, something I was always told was beneath me. But it's not. It's just different. I've known this for a long time, but not as clearly as I've known it since I met you. (He smiles suddenly) I've done things with you that I've never had opportunity to do before.

Hannah: Is this about the Scotch? (Nikolas laughs)

Nik: No. No, it's not. (He furrows his brow) I've never done dishes. Even here, there's a maid in the daytime who attends to cooking, cleaning... And that the closest I've ever come to having an entirely independent life.

Hannah: So that's what I am? The salt of the earth.

Nik: No. You're just a person I see that link in. You know about things that I know about, things I've experienced. Shakespeare and Beethoven and Greece... (Hannah holds her breath, feeling overwhelmingly guilty) But you also know about things I haven't ever seen or been able to appreciate. But ... But if we're going to be together, it's impossible for me to ignore where I come from. Who I am. I'm Nikolas Cassadine. Do you know what that means?

Hannah: No.

Nik: I have responsibilities. I was raised to one day lead my family.

Hannah: Lucky told me about the title.

Nik: It's more than that. The title, yes, that means something to a very select group of people. But mostly it's irrelevant to who we are. To being the heir to the Cassadine fortune, and the mantle. They are equally daunting. And they both come with the same strings... And the same threats.

Hannah: Threats. (Nikolas nods slowly)

Nik: Hannah. I have to tell you about Katherine Bell.

Emily sits down on a rock at the edge of the park. She's been walking forever, it feels like, her mind spinning. She doesn't know how what Hannah told her fits into all of this, but it must. He's done it again. This is huge, this is a secret of monstrous proportions... But still, it doesn't match the one he first kept from her. Nothing will ever match that.

The Boathouse, the previous spring.

Emily can hear her heart thundering in her ears. She is nervous and excited and everything feels about ten million times more intense than she'd imagined it. But her happiness, her feeling of confidence and joy that's supposed to fill this moment if fading fast as she stares at Lucky. He's supposed to be happy. This is supposed to be a good thing. Of all the reactions she expected, this ISN'T one of them. He stares at her, a haunted, tortured look in his eyes. The kind of look he gets when they talk about Laura, or Nikolas, or what life's like for him at home right now. She's spend months trying to get that look to go away, and now it's back, stronger than ever, in this moment, of all times. She feels her mouth go dry.

Em: Lucky?

Lucky: I... (His voice is shaky, unsteady. He shakes his head) I can't do this.

Em: (stunned) WHAT?

Lucky: I can't. I can't with... No. I have to tell you something, Emily.

Em: (shaking her head) It's Ok.

Lucky: It's not.

Em: (smiling at him, lovingly) Lucky, come on. Whatever it is, it doesn't matter.

Lucky: I don't know if you'll --

Em: (getting upset) Lucky! I love you. Don't you know that by now? I love you with everything I have. And I want to be with you tonight. It's time. Don't you want--

Lucky: God, Emily! Of course I do. I've wanted you for so long... But there's something you need to know.

Em: Ok. Ok. (she crosses to him, laying her hands on his chest.) You can tell me. It won't make a difference. Nothing will ever change the way I feel about you right now. (She looks up at him, leaning against his chest) At this moment, I have never been more aware of how much I love you. And you can tell me anything, you have to know that. I always keep your secrets. I wouldn't part with them for anything. Your trust is too important to me.

Lucky: This isn't... This isn't like everything else, Emily. This is bad.

Em: We've done bad. We can do it again. (She slides her hand up around his neck, and gazes into his eyes, lovingly) I have so much faith in us. (Lucky flinches) You have to believe, Lucky. Everything will be Ok. (Lucky looks back at her, seeing the absolute adoration in her eyes. He always feels like he can do anything when she looks at him like that. He quickly lowers his mouth to hers and kisses her, passionately, holding her against him. Emily nearly swoons in the heat of the embrace, letting herself be swept away by it. She never knew anything could feel like this. Everything is so perfect, if Lucky will just relax and stop obsessing.... Lucky pulls back from her, suddenly, and looks down at her, tears glistening in his eyes)

Lucky: (hoarsely) I love you, Emily. You have to believe that.

Em: I do, Lucky. I know how you feel, because I feel the same way. I love you more and more every time I'm with you. (she takes his hands in hers) Let's forget about this. Tonight isn't about everything that's on the other side of that door. Tonight is just about you and me.

Lucky: You have to know this. God, Emily, I want to make love to you so much, I wanted it for so long...

Em: (giggling) I've noticed. (Lucky tenses at her musical laugh. She's not listening to him. And he doesn't know how to make her hear).

Lucky: You have to know this first.

Em: It's not going to make a difference.

Lucky: It will to me. (Lucky pulls out of her embrace, and leans back against the wall. He looks up at the ceiling and braces himself to do the impossible) AJ.... AJ didn't bomb the docks. (The words just hang in the air. Emily frowns, confused. She finally emits a small nervous laugh)

Em: Lucky... I know that.

Lucky: How?

Em: Because AJ wouldn't do that. He wouldn't do anything that crazy.

Lucky: What about the tape?

Em: It's not real, it can't be.

Lucky: Don't you wonder where it came from?

Em: Grandfather thinks it was probably Jax, or something. (She studies his face a moment) You know, don't you? Lucky, do you know who set him up? Oh my God. You have to tell me. (She takes his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her) Was it Carly? (Lucky looks at her, her eyes wide, trusting, searching his for an answer. He chest constricts so tightly he's not sure the words will come out. He struggles for a breath anyway).

Lucky: Emily. It was me. (Emily stares at him, not comprehending a moment. The instant his words hit home he sees her eyes go dark. She steps back from him, dazed, her eyes still boring into his. She looks away, suddenly, catching an illusive breath, then looks back, her face suddenly filled with questions. She turns her back on him sharply and walk across the room, her movements stiff, almost robotic. She reaches the opposite wall and leans her head against it. Lucky watches, without words or actions, just leaning against the wall, staring at the distance now between them)

Em: (holding the wall for support) No.

Lucky: I'm sorry.

Em: No, you wouldn't. (Lucky doesn't say anything. She turns and looks at him) He's my brother!

Lucky: I know.

Em: Why? Why would you do that? He could go to jail!

Lucky: He won't got to jail. It'll never stick. One semi-decent A/V expert and the tape is exposed.

Em: Why... Why would you ever try to --

Lucky: Carly.

Em: Carly?

Lucky: Emily, he's a Quartermaine.

Em: SO AM I!

Lucky: I know, I know... But he's trying to take Michael away from her. (Emily turns away from him) She can't fight the way your family can. She doesn't have money, she doesn't have the lawyers.

Em: So she's trying to get him arrested.

Lucky: Not arrested.. Ok, not convicted. Just... distracted. That's all.

Em: This is just supposed to be a distraction? (Emily suddenly gets hit by a powerful wave of anger) A DISTRACTION? Do you want to know how distracted my family is? Do you know what it's been like in that house? My grandmother can't stop crying, my grandfather is out for blood.... AJ is THIS CLOSE to drinking again. (she stops and looks at him) Of course you know this. You know all of it, Lucky , because I told you. I came to you, after this happened. I came to the house and I waited for you with your mother, waited for you to come home because I couldn't think of anything else that was going to make it feel Ok again. Do you remember that? You said that I looked like I'd been to hell and back. You held me and kissed me and told me that everything was going to be all right. And I believed you!

Lucky: I know. I know, Emily.

Em: (shaking her head) You wouldn't do that. (She moves across the room towards him quickly) You couldn't! You could never hurt me like that. (She begins to shake) You love me, right?

Lucky: You know I do.

Em: Then why are you saying this? (Lucky doesn't answer. She wraps her arms around him, hugging him tightly, speaking in hushed tones) You'd never do this. I know you'd never do this. (she begins to lay light kisses on his face and neck, in an almost frenzied manner, desperate to hold onto this, speaking to him quietly between kisses) I know how awful it is for you to keep that secret from your father, I know how much it eats you up to be dishonest to people you love. So don't do it. Don't do this. You're covering for someone, right? For Carly? Or for your father? Who is it? I won't tell, Lucky, I swear to God. Just tell me you didn't do it! (Lucky pushes back from her, forces her to look in his eyes)

Lucky: I can't. Emily, it was me. It was my idea, I was the one who fixed the tape, I did it. (Emily shakes her head violently)

Em: No.

Lucky: You know I can do that. You KNOW I can. And I did. And I'm SORRY. (Emily sinks to the floor, her breathing getting steadily out of control. She covers her face in her hand and rocks herself, looking completely lost and devastated. Lucky's chest is now so tight he can barely breath himself. He drops to the ground next to her, reaching out to hold her. Emily pulls away from his touch as if he was burning her)

Em: DON'T TOUCH ME! (Lucky sits back, staring at her. He's never seen her like this before. She turns away from him, sobbing) Don't ever... Don't, just stay away from me.

Lucky: Emily.

Em: I don't want to hear anything from you. If you can't tell me you didn't do this, if you can't tell me it's all a lie, then I don't want to hear it.

Lucky: Emily, I'm so sorry...

Em: How can you be? How could you not know what this would do to me?

Lucky: I was just trying --

Em: Since we got together, I've been nothing but one hundred percent honest with you. I've told you things I never would have repeated to anyone else, not in a million years. And I kept your secrets, and I listened to you say things that I knew you couldn't tell anyone else, not even your family... I thought I was important to you. I thought you loved me.

Lucky: (in tears) I do, Emily. I love you so much. (Emily stops and looks at him, tears still running down her cheeks. She shakes her head slowly, almost amazed.)

Em: I don't believe you.

Lucky: Emily!

Em: I don't believe you, I don't even KNOW you. The person I know wouldn't ever have done this. He wouldn't ever have done anything this horrible. The person I know told me that he never wanted to hurt me again. Do you remember that? You swore, the night you first told me that you loved me that you couldn't stand to see that look in my eyes, remember? Well, look at me, Lucky. Can you look at me now? (Lucky looks away from her, in agony)

Lucky: I meant that, Emily. I swear to you --

Em: You swore to me that night too. I remember every detail, every moment, ever word you said to me, because I BELIEVED you. And I thought I knew who you were. (she shakes her head) But I don't. I don't know who you are, Lucky. Because the person I loved wouldn't ever have done this. (Lucky stares at her, horrified)

Lucky: You don't mean that.

Em: Yes. I do.

Lucky: (desperately) NO. Come on, Emily. Listen to me. You do know me, you know how I think. You know me better than anyone else does. Even my family. I had to help her, Emily. I couldn't let her lose Michael.

Em: Carly Roberts.

Lucky: She's a Spencer.

Em: Right. She's family. You've only known that for a year and a half, but hey, if she need help then why not throw over your girlfriend WHO'S BEEN YOUR BEST FRIEND SINCE YOU WERE TWELVE to help her. After all, that's what really matters, isn't it Lucky?

Lucky: You can't believe that.

Em: I don't even CARE. (She stands up and looks at him defiantly) I would have done anything for you.

Lucky: (getting up) Emily, don't. Please.

Em: (as coolly as she can manage) I hope you had fun tonight, Lucky. Because I don't ever want to see you again. And even if I do, it won't matter... (she breaks down again) Because I don't know you. And I won't miss you. Because I don't even know what to miss. You are never going to kiss me again, you are never going to touch me again, and you are NEVER going to hear me tell you I love you again.

Lucky: Don't do this to me. (Emily's grip on calm slips and her face crumples. She turns away from him, her body wracked with sobs. Lucky watches her, tears running down his own face, not knowing what he can possibly do) You can believe anything you want to Emily. But I do love you. (Emily struggles to get her outburst under control. Lucky takes a hesitant step towards her).

Em: (quietly) That can't mean anything anymore. (She suddenly bolts for the door) Good bye, Lucky. (She doesn't look back, but pulls the door open, stepping out into the suddenly cold late spring air. She turns and runs across the lawn, as fast as she can. Inside Lucky stares at the flame inside the oil lamp, still burning on the table. He wrestles mightily against an urge to throw the lamp, an act that would undoubtedly burn the whole building down. He walks across to it, wiping the tears from his face, and picks it up. He stares at the flame another moment, then turns down the wick, extinguishing it.)

Lucky's almost startled to realize that he's been crying. He can feel that same tightness in his chest that he had that night. He stares steadily at the opposite wall. Nothing, he'd thought at the time, could ever have felt worse. Except this. He stares at the desk, where Emily had stacked his books into a neat pile. What he hell did that MEAN anyway? He stands up and crosses to them. They are stacked according to size, and neatly placed, parallel to the line of the desk, waiting for him. What kind of message was she trying to send him with this? I'll always be there for you, I'll take care of you... How could she believe that anymore than he did? It had all gone away before. One sentence, one disclosure and nothing else had mattered to her. And she loved him. He knew that. She HAD known him, that was the irony. That apparently NO ONE had known him that well. How could he expect his father to behave any differently when he found out the truth? And why shouldn't he? You don't lie to your family. You don't keep secrets from them. He'd betrayed his father, the man who had always meant everything to him. And now he was going to know it. And nothing else would matter. Two years of torturing himself, of pushing all these ugly feelings and thoughts around his head, trying to justify it, trying to understand it... None of it would matter to his father. All that would matter was that his son had lied to him. And what good was some weak insistence of love going to mean to him? Honor was everything to Luke Spencer. And Lucky knows he has none. He stares down at the desk top, all the stuff on it. Books for school, pens and papers and.... He reaches down and sends everything flying in one swift motion, leaving the desk top empty. He hears a gasp and looks up to see the door to the apartment standing open. Emily stares at him. He meets her gaze, and feels immediately ashamed. He turns away from her.

Lucky: Go away.