Chapter Seventy-Nine:
With or Without You

The Spencer House.

Luke mounts the stair in almost a single bound. He stops, recognizing Johnny on the porch, the same man restraining him a few hours later. He nods at him)

Luke: Tweedledum. (He looks over at the other man) Tweedledee. Pleased to meet you. (He goes to the door and pulls it over. Laura turns to face him, white as a ghost. He stares at her in shock a moment then closes the door behind him, crossing to her)

Luke: Baby.... (Laura rushes to him and he embraces her tightly.)

Laura: She's back again Luke. Every time I think she's finally gone, she just turns up again.

Luke: I know, I know. (He rubs her back and looks around the room) Where's Lucky? (Laura pulls back, and looks at him, her shoulders sagging.)

Laura: He left.

Luke: What?

Laura: He left. Less than five minutes ago.

Luke: You let him LEAVE? (Laura turns from him, wringing her hands nervously. Despite Lucky's assurance that his leaving wasn't about her, she's having a hard time believing it).

Laura: (harried) What was I supposed to do, Luke? Keep him here by force? He decided he was leaving. I asked him to stay, he wouldn't have it.

Luke: He say where he was going?

Laura; No. No, and he wouldn't say why either.

Luke; Damnit! (he moves away from her, pacing the room) He knows that it's better for him to stay here, he KNOWS that! What the hell is going on with him?

Laura: All he said was to tell you he couldn't stay. (Luke stops and looks at her)

Luke: When did Jason's men get here?

Laura: Pretty much right after Lucky did.

Luke: (in realization) My God. (Laura looks up at him) He knew.

Laura: What?

Luke: He knew. He knew she was here. And so does that other kid of yours. (Laura blinks)

Laura: Nikolas?

Luke: He came by the club to talk to Lucky. He said he'd be two minutes, but he didn't come back. (he shakes his head) WHY didn't he tell me? (The answer is obvious, however. Luke frowns).

Laura: He wouldn't even tell me what she said to him. He just.... Luke, it was so strange. He came in, told me Jason was sending people and then went upstairs to talk to Lulu. When he came back down he said he was leaving.

Luke: Well, if we're lucky, he went to Jason's. Or... Damn! (Luke stops and considers his options. He still can't believe Lucky left. And he can't shake the feeling that it's his fault. For the past few hours he's been walking the streets, brooding over the whole mess. Lucky working for Jason, that was a shock he still hadn't recovered from. But what was really haunting him was the look on the kid's face. The absolute agony he was in. It didn't add up. Working for Jason, keeping company with Nikolas, and now running out on his family, all the time being uncharacteristically destructive and angry. Then there were Emily's words, her plea to him to wait until Lucky was ready to come to him. He wishes the answer to this riddle would just reveal itself to him. Lucky, for the first time since his birth, was a complete enigma to him. He looks up at Laura, attempting to mask his confusion) He must be coming back. It's the only thing that makes sense.

The Quartermaine Mansion, Emily's Room.

Emily is curled up on her bed, reading a book designed to distract her. Lucky was completely cold -- his new version of cold -- on the ride home. He'd driven her back, kissed her gently, but had given her no idea as to what was going on inside him. She had been obsessing from the moment he'd driven away, convinced that she should have just done what he wanted -- stayed with Jason. Her family had calmed down from that morning, but she'd skipped out on dinner anyway. She couldn't think about food now. It wasn't possible. She was too worried. She is staring steadily now at the book, vaguely aware that she keeps reading the same paragraph. A part of her feels like it's choking. All she wants to do is cry, but she can't make the tears come. She hears a noise at her window and jumps. Sure enough, Lucky is crouched outside. She dashes across the room, and throws the window open, pulling him inside. Lucky looks at her in such a way that makes Emily feels very intangible. He steps into the room, closing the window behind him, not taking his eyes off her for a moment. Emily steps back from him.

Emily: Lucky? (Lucky's arms wrap around her and he holds her tightly. Emily is slightly startled by the intensity of the embrace. Lucky pulls back finally, and looks into her eyes. He cups her face in his hands and gives her a long, deep, equally intense kiss. Finally, Lucky pulls back. He looks up at him, breathless and terrified. She can't keep up with this guy's moods anymore.) What happened? (Lucky shakes his head) Lucky, come on.

Lucky: Helena went to the house. (Emily's feels herself nearly sink to the floor, though Lucky is still holding her. She shakes her head)

Em: Is... Is everyone --

Lucky: She didn't hurt them. She can't. Not Lulu or my mother. Not if she wants to cozy up to Nikolas.

Em: So then why did she --

Lucky: (pulling away from her) To scare me. To let me know that she can get to them if she wants. I think that's it. Hannah's right, she wants... (he stops and shakes his head, unable to say more. Emily searches his face for further clues)

Em: You saw her, didn't you? (Lucky makes no move) Lucky, what did she say? (Lucky looks back at her. Tears start to roll down his cheeks)

Lucky: (gasping for breath) She.... I can't do it, Emily. I can't protect everyone. If she wants... If she decides to kill someone, she will. There's no way to stop it.

Em: Who does she want to kill? (Lucky looks away from her, squeezing his eyes shut. Emily shivers. She walks over to Lucky and forces him to look at her.) She wants to kill me, doesn't she? That's what she said to you.

Lucky: She wants me to know I... (Lucky's throat closes up on him again. Emily responds by pulling him close to her, wrapping herself in his warmth. She feels a cold ball of doom forming in her stomach. All this time it's been Lucky's health she's been worried about. The thought of any threat being turned on her was impossible to think about. She can't help but feel a wave of relief that Lucky's not Helena's target. And even though she'd known for days that she might be in danger couldn't make it mean anything to her. But now that Lucky is so obviously scared, she can feel the beginnings of fear. She closes her eyes and concentrates on his touch. Lucky seems to be trying to lose himself in her, his hands gently caressing her hair, while he brushes his lips against her temple. She holds him tighter. After a moment Lucky lowers his mouth to her ear, whispering to her intensely) God, I can't do this, Emily. I can't lose you, I need you too much. I don't know how to get through this without you.

Em: (tears coming to her eyes) You're not losing me. No way. (Lucky pulls back and looks at her)

Lucky: I know. (He looks at her intently) I can keep you safe, Emily. I can keep you safe if.... (He stops, not sure how to say this. Everything is spilling out of him too fast. He hadn't meant to do any of the things that he'd done since he'd come through the window. He pulls away from her and paces the room, trying to get a grip. Emily watches him, alarmed. Finally he turns back to her) Look... I've been thinking about this, just in the back of my mind, but now... I think it's the only way.

Em: What is?

Lucky: Look, Helena knows... It's not a hard connection to make -- but she's guessed I want you to go to Jason's.

Em: Ok, Lucky. If you really think it's gone that far, then --

Lucky: No. It was that far this afternoon. She told me point blank that she would find a way to get to you. The only way I can stop that is to make sure she can't find you.

Em: Lucky....

Lucky: You know I can do it, Emily. You know I can make both of us disappear if I want to. It's our only chance.

Em: You're asking me --

Lucky: I'm asking you to leave with me. Tonight.

Bannister's Wharf

Nikolas turns away from the water and paces the dock. Hannah watches him, so detached and angry with her. She knew this was coming and somehow she still wasn't prepared for it.

Hannah: I thought that you were going to listen to me.

Emily's Bedroom.

Emily stares at Lucky is shock. He isn't really suggesting this. He can't be. She sinks onto the bed, staring blankly across the room.

Em: Lucky, that's crazy.

Lucky: It's not. It's the sanest thought I've had all month. Listen to me. Whatever it is, Helena is trying to use you. She wants to keep me off balance worrying about you, and she wants to keep Hannah under control by threatening you.

Em: If she wants to keep Hannah under control, then why would she hurt me?

Lucky: She can threaten Hannah's own neck if she really has to. She knows that you're.... She's looking for weaknesses. And she found mine. She can't hurt my family because of Nikolas -- but she can hurt you.

Em: (laughing nervously) Wait, Nikolas is a friend of mine. Don't you think he'd care if she just killed me for no reason?

Lucky: She killed Katherine Bell.

Em: (shakily) We don't know that.

Lucky: Then who was it? Who else had a reason to kill her?

Em: God, Lucky....

Lucky: Emily! Listen to me. This isn't a joke, this is real. She's not going to stop until she drives me out of my mind, and best, quickest way to do that is to take you away from me.

Em: (evenly) Lucky, don't you think--

Lucky: (exploding) NO! She is going to kill you, do you understand? (Lucky stops, realizing that his volume has gotten dangerous considering their location. Emily is looking at him in horror. He crosses the room and takes her hands, sinking to his knees in front of her) I'm not taking the risk. This is the only choice I have. Look. Look at what we know. She wants to use Nikolas and I against each other somehow, that's the only thing that makes sense. We know she won't kill Nikolas. And she won't touch mom and Lulu. My Dad can take care of himself. And she can't use me to get to Nik if I'm not HERE. And most importantly, she can't touch you. Helena Cassadine doesn't give second chances. I got my warning. Now I either try to play this out how she wants me too -- stay here, and try to keep everyone safe, or I just keep you safe and let my father take care of the rest. (Emily, head spinning, pulls her hands away, putting them to her forehead)

Em: Ok, just stop, all right? (She takes a series of breathes to steady herself, then drops her hands and looks back at him) Lucky, there has to be another solution.

Lucky: There isn't.

Em: Wait a minute! What about... Ok, so you THINK your family doesn't need you. I think you're wrong, but let's just leave that a minute. What about... (she gropes for something) Ok, what about school?

Lucky: What about living to see next week?

Em: Lucky, you're scaring me.

Lucky: GOOD! 'Cause you're not listening to me!

Em: I AM! I just can't believe there isn't another way. (Lucky sighs and bows his head, frustrated. Emily takes his hands and lifts them to her lips, kissing his knuckles gently) We'll find it.

Lucky: There is NOTHING to find! I've been doing this my whole life. When someone like Helena Cassadine, someone who is THAT untouchable comes gunning for you, you leave. That's the solution. Trust me, if there was another one, my family would have figured it out by now.

Em: My family...

Lucky: What about them?

Em: I can't just leave them! I mean.... Look, over the last couple of days, things have been Ok. Not great, but this afternoon AJ told me he'd back off, and Mom and Dad juggled their schedules to have lunch with me... I mean, they are actually trying this time, how am I supposed to just walk out on that?

Lucky: Emily, that has nothing to do with this.

Em: How can it not? How can the people I'm leaving not have anything to do with this? (Lucky struggles with that. He stops himself short of saying that they just DON'T, vaguely aware that not everyone feels that way. He looks back at her and takes a deep breath)

Lucky: Emily. I think your parents would handle you running away a lot better than they would handle what might happen if you stay here. (Emily pushes away from him, retreating further onto the bed)

Em: Stop it!

Lucky: (standing up) Then stop pretending this isn't happening! Emily, come ON.

Em: Excuse me! You're used to this, Lucky. You've always had people trying to kill you! I'm the person usually trying to STOP people from doing in other people, this is new to me.

Lucky: (getting increasingly frustrated) What is so hard about this?

Em: I don't like you pressuring me into suddenly leaving everything in my life!

Lucky: I'M NOT -- (He stops, and forces himself down to a much quieter volume) I'm not pressuring you. (Emily blinks at him, eyes wide) Ok, I'm not FORCING you, though. I'm just telling you what makes the most sense. That's all. If you say no, then fine, we'll figure something else out -- but this is the only thing that will REALLY work. (Emily looks away from him, frowning. She waves her hands around in the air helplessly) You still don't get it.

Em: I just think there's too much that doesn't work.

Lucky: (with forced patience) Like what?

Em: You told me that the Cassadines ALWAYS knew where your family was supposed to be. They knew even when Frank Smith didn't!

Lucky: Because. I had to go to school, my parents had to get jobs. We don't have to do that.

Em: Why not?

Lucky: First of all, because we're not going to be gone for a long time. Just until this sorts itself out.

Em: Until a Spencer/Cassadine war sorts it out? Why don't we just wait for hell to freeze over to make sure it's REALLY safe? (Lucky suppresses an urge to scream. He didn't expect her to fight him this hard on this, but then he also expected he'd be able to explain it better. He turns away and begins to pace the room.)

Lucky: Ok, keep them coming. What other problems do you have? (Emily finds herself getting ticked at him and this unnecessary attitude. She slides off the bed).

Em: Ok. Money!

Lucky: Covered.

Em: How? I know you don't pay rent, Lucky, but we don't know how long we'd have to go! And you just said that they'd find us if we got jobs!

Lucky: Your brother wasn't paying me in magic beans, Emily. (Emily sinks back onto the bed)

Em: Jason? I should have known

Lucky: Look. Its cash, I have it stashed at the club, money is NOT going to be a problem.

Em: How much?

Lucky: To be totally honest? I have no idea. A lot.

Em: Oh my God.

Lucky: That's why I kept saying Berkeley didn't matter Emily. I knew we had the cash to go wherever we wanted. (Emily looks up at him in surprise) Fringe benefit. (Emily shakes her head)

Em: Ok. Next. So what if we disappear. If we totally drop out of sight, we have to lose all contact with Port Charles for this to work, right? Like some bad TV movie.

Lucky: I'll know when we can come back.

Em: Lucky... are you sure.... (She stops, thinking better of what she was about to say.)

Lucky: What?

Em: Never mind.

Lucky: Emily.

Em; Let's just drop it, Ok?

Lucky: No. I want to know what you were going to say. (Emily looks up at him)

Em: Lucky, are you sure you're not just suggesting this because you don't want to deal with Luke and Nikolas and all of this stuff that's happening?

Lucky: You think I'm a coward.

Em: that's not what I said.

Lucky: Yeah, it is. You think I'm running away.

Em: I think you --

Lucky: Stop it! You're doing it again! You keep ALMOST saying something to me and then you back off. You were doing it last week too, almost calling me a liar, almost calling me manipulative --

Em: You're putting words in my mouth

Lucky: It's the only way to get them there.

Em: Lucky, stop it. I'm not doing this with you again.

Lucky: Then why don't we just END it? Why don't we just get it all out on the table for ONCE so that I know what it is you're thinking?

Em: You KNOW what I'm thinking! I told you, Lucky, I love you.

Lucky: Then why does it feel this way, Emily? Why does it always feel like there are conditions you're not telling me about? Like you're still judging me, like nothing I ever do is good enough? Why IS THAT?

Em: Lucky! Stop it. (Lucky stops and stares at her. Realizing how threatening he's being he turns away from her, near hyperventilation. He walks across the room.)

Lucky: I... I... I'm sorry.

Em: You didn't do anything.

Lucky: I...

Em: Lucky! Listen to me. No one is standing in judgment of you but you! You have to let go or you're going to drive yourself crazy! You can't keep expecting me and Luke and Nikolas to give you enough rope, we're not going to do it!

Lucky: (quietly) You don't know.

Em: I don't know what? What, Lucky? Tell me.

Lucky: You don't know what I'm capable of! You can't, because I don't even know! See.. ... I can't do it, Emily. I can't stay here. If I stay I will make a mistake, I'll mess up and you'll pay for it. And if it's not you, then it's Nikolas. And if something happens to Nikolas, something I could have stopped, even if it was by leaving, then... Then how do I look at my sister again? How do I look at my Mom? That's everything. That's everything I've ever had.

Em: Helena won't hurt Nikolas.

Lucky: No.. But maybe I will.

Em: Lucky....

Lucky: You were there this afternoon. He... If she starts pushing buttons with me and Nikolas, I can't say that I'm not going to do something stupid. And you know how I know that? Because I keep doing stupid things with him! Before Hannah showed up, Nikolas and I barely spoke. But it was sort of civil, you know? Now... God. Sometimes it's not impossible, sometimes I know I can deal with him, but sometimes I just ... want to toss him off the balcony.

Em: You wouldn't do that.

Lucky: HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT? EMILY! You keep telling me that, but you don't know it's true. You can't! (Emily shakes her head. This isn't going to end tonight. She'd tried everything she could think of to get him to let go of this self-hatred, and it's just not going to work. She crosses to him, and looks at him sadly)

Em: I know I love you. And whatever you think, it's not conditional. (Lucky looks at her, the empathy and sadness in her eyes, and feels a wave of guilt. He has to stop doing this to her. He pulls her into another hug, holding her gently. Emily closes her eyes in the embrace a moment, then stands up on her toes and pulls him closer to her, trying to erase the minuscule space between them. She can feel his breathing, still uneven and tight, his heart beating hard, his skin slightly warmer than it should be.....all the heightened signs of the pain he's living in day by day, now so close to the surface. She tries to take it all on, the breath, the heat, the heart, all of the symptoms of his agony. She can feel him begin to break again, crumbling against her, as if he's taking on her feelings, her despair and fear in some sort of amalgamation of their souls, where their emotions meld together, blurring the lines between them. Emily feels that same longing, that desire to be as close to him as humanly possible stirring in her again, and she realizes her decision is made. She still doesn't understand it, and she's not sure Lucky is right, but she realizes he has to leave, and she has to go with him. She can't bring herself to loosen her grip on him even to whisper this to him, so she stays locked in the embrace. She's so lost in him, in the moment, in the feelings they are sharing, that she doesn't hear the noises from the foyer, is unaware that someone has mounted the stairs until the door to her bedroom is thrown open and she and Lucky spring back from each other.)

AJ: What the hell are you doing here?

Helena's Lair.

Helena sits in a chair, hands clasped, her index fingers pressed together, and resting lightly on her lips. She sits in contemplation a moment, then looks up at Ari.

Helena: And?

Ari: Morgan confiscated the bracelet. Almost immediately. She left an hour ago, and she wasn't wearing it.

Helena: So we have no idea what was said in that penthouse.

Ari: No.

Helena: Well, she couldn't have said anything. She wouldn't be that stupid. (The word is spit from Helena's lips. Ari nods)

Ari: She certainly knows the price if she betrays you.

Helena; Well. Perhaps she could use a reminder.... (she flutters her hand in the air lightly, a smile playing on her lips) To strengthen her resolve. (She looks up at him and smiles) I think it's time to arrange what we discussed.