Chapter Eighty-Seven:
Leap of Faith

General Hospital, Examination room

Lucky watches the door swing shut after Nikolas and feels a mild twinge of guilt. Mild, because he doesn't really have time for anything else. He can feel his father's eyes boring into him, and having avoided them as long as humanly possible, he shifts his gaze back to Luke. Luke's expression is tight, as he takes Lucky in.

Luke: What happened? (Lucky blinks. Oh.... No. No, he can't do this. Not right now. Lucky falls back, without help, onto the table and winces in pain. Luke looks down at him, the picture of fatherly concern.) What's going on here? The Dark Prince giving you a hard time? (Lucky shakes his head, not so much to indicate an answer, but to display the fact that even the sound of Luke's voice is too much for him right now. Nikolas was right. He was capable of feeling something, given the right stimulus. Lucky catches himself wishing Nikolas was back. At least Nikolas had been able to grasp the idea that he shouldn't push anything too hard. In fact, Nikolas hadn't done one thing that had made him feel worse than he already did. Now, he just wants to be alone, he doesn't want to talk or think anymore. But he's going to have to if he wants his father to understand that.)

Lucky: Go away. (Luke steps back from the table, stung)

Luke: Lucky.

Lucky: (groaning) Don't. I'm fine. (Luke feels an immediate, entirely childish, jealousy.)

Luke: Oh, but it's Ok to have that Cassadine spawn here, holding your hand, is it?

Lucky: (defensively) He wasn't holding my hand! (Luke is immediately repentant. He reaches out and puts a gentle hand on Lucky's shoulder, surprised by how immediately and violently upset Lucky is.)

Luke: Ok, I'm sorry, Lucky. Just calm down, it's Ok. (Lucky closes his eyes, his face still deeply troubled, and turns his head away from Luke. Luke looks down at him, in concern.) Lucky. (Lucky doesn't move). You're really in a bad place right now, huh? I get that. I do. I'm sorry. (Lucky squeezes his eyes shut more tightly. He has to get his father to stop talking. Every word out of his mouth just makes him feel even more sick. Luke isn't complying, however. He looks down at Lucky, taking in the whole scene. This isn't just a knock on the head. He wonders how much Lucky knows about Emily. He puts a hand on Lucky's forehead and smoothes his hair back from his face. Lucky flinches slightly, but doesn't move otherwise until the door opens again. At this sound, he opens his eyes.)

Lucky: What --

Laura: (demanding) What did you say to -- (Laura stops in the middle of the sentence when she sees Lucky. She can feel all the blood rush from her head. It feels the same way every time. Every time one of her children gets hurt.... She has unusually accident-prone children. She's going to have to find a way to get them to stop this. She moves over to him, Luke stepping aside, and takes Lucky's hand in hers). Oh, Lucky.... (She kisses his hand gently, and repeats Luke's gesture, gently stroking his hair away from his face, as she smiles down at him. This time Lucky doesn't react, except to let his eyes fall shut again. Laura speaks to him softly) How're you feeling? (Lucky shakes his head slightly. He doesn't want to think. He can feel the sick swirling feeling in his stomach begin to lessen, and shifts slightly on the table. )

Lucky: I'm tired. (Laura pulls up the blanket Nikolas gave Lucky so that it covers his chest and shoulders.)

Laura: I can imagine. (She blinks back tears, gazing down at him. She can't even remember the last time Lucky allowed her to mother him like this. But he's showing no signs of resistance. He lets his head fall to one side and Laura repeats the gesture she made that woke him up that morning, kissing his temple. Lucky doesn't move. Luke, now pacing the small room slowly, looks over at him.)

Luke: Is he Ok? (Laura straightens up, still gently running her hand over his forehead, hair, cheek. She nods)

Laura: He's just sleeping. He must be exhausted. (Luke walks up behind her and rests against her, watching Lucky over her shoulder)

Luke: Is... Is that Ok? (Laura feels tears start to spill from her eyes. This is what it takes now for her to be a mother to Lucky. He has to be hit by a car. But at the same time, he must still need her. Some part of him. She nods, unable to speak, and Luke misreads her tears) It's Ok, Darlin'. He's been through worse than this and made it to the other side. He's going to be just fine this time.

Laura: (tightly) I know. (They stay in the stillness of the moment, watching Lucky breath. It's less labored now, in fact he almost seems peaceful. There's still something slightly off... Mostly the depth of his sleep. He doesn't look like he'll ever move again. After a moment, Laura gently lies his hand down on his chest, and turns to face her husband.) Luke. Is there something you're not telling me? (Luke frowns)

Luke: Like what?

Laura: I've been trying to figure out why this happened. Why would Helena do this? Just run him down with a car without even a threat? Without giving us a reason?

Luke: I know. It's not her style.

Laura: Do you think... He said something to her?

Luke: She wouldn't try to hurt Lucky without letting us twist on it for a while. There's no sport. And it was a pretty sloppy job.

Laura: Taggert... That detective, Taggert. He suggested it was mob-related. (Luke looks away from her.)

Luke: Yeah, he told me. But again, if someone was trying to kill him, there's better ways to go about it.

Laura: Luke. Why would the mob go after Lucky? (Luke looks back at her, struggling with how much he should divulge. There's really no reason for Laura to know about this. It's only going to terrify her.)

Luke: Ah, Taggert blames everything on the mob. (He shrugs) Maybe it was random. (Laura narrows her eyes at him) It could happen.

Laura: Luke.

Luke: I know. I know... I don't know what else to tell you, Darlin'. Either way, the pieces don't fit. (Laura looks back at Lucky. She returns to stroking Lucky's hair, letting her mind drift from the topic of "why".)

Laura: Right now, all I care about is whether or not he's going to be Ok.

Luke: He will be. He was in a fighting mood before you came in. (He smiles at her) I think he needed some mother-love tonight. (Laura's eyes fill immediately with tears, and she tries to hide them from Luke. It doesn't work. He comes up behind her, and pulls her hair back from her face). Laura? Baby, what's -- (Luke is cut off by the sound of the door opening. Laura wipes her eyes with the back of her hand, and takes Lucky's hand firmly in hers again. Luke turns to the source of the noise, and forces a smile at the sight of Bobbie, carrying a high strung Lulu).

Luke: Hey, Sunshine. You come to see your brother? (Lulu's eyes focus on Lucky, but she doesn't speak. Her brow is knit into an expression of deep concern)

Bobbie: I was just explaining to Lesley Lu that Lucky had a little bit of an accident and has to sleep for a while... (she looks over at him, on the table) Looks like he's already started. (She passes Lulu to Luke, and walks over to Lucky) Laura? Can I get in here? (Laura looks at Bobbie, mildly tense at the suggestion that she leave Lucky's side. She nods slightly, and moves away from him. Bobbie quickly checks his pulse, then forces one of Lucky's eyes open and steps back, relieved) Yup. He's sleeping. Looks like he needed it, too.

Laura: What do you mean?

Bobbie: There's a fine line between sleeping and just passing out. If he'd lost consciousness, that would be a whole other issue. (Laura shivers slightly, then aggressively stakes her claim to the spot at the side of the table, taking Lucky's hand again. Bobbie turns to Luke)

Luke: How serious is it, Barbara? (Bobbie looks at Lulu, who is clinging to Luke's neck and looking across the room at her sleeping brother studying his face. Deciding the news is suitable for Lulu's ears, she looks back at Luke).

Bobbie: Well, he's probably absolutely run down. He needs to sleep. He lost a bit of blood, nothing so significant that he needs a transfusion, but enough that his body will have to work to replace it. And he's been through an emotional ringer with Emily. I gave him a sedative when he first came in to help him relax a little. He was pretty wound up.

Luke: Sounds like my boy.

Bobbie: Well, he should be all right now. The paperwork is all finished. He can go up to his room anytime. (She looks back at Lucky, and shakes her head) I don't think we should wake him up. All in all, it would be more painless for everyone if we just move him while he sleeps. I'll go get an orderly. (Bobbie walks to the door, then stops and looks back at the room) By the way, where is Nikolas?

Lulu: (looking back at Luke) Nikolas?

Luke: I think I scared him off. (Bobbie looks over at Laura, who is barely aware of the conversation, and frowns at her lack of concern).

Bobbie: Luke. Lucky asked to see Nikolas specifically. (Luke looks at her coolly)

Luke: Well, he doesn't look too torn up about it to me. (Bobbie sighs.)

Bobbie: Lucky's going to need a lot of support over the next couple of days, especially when... (she looks at Lulu, and clears her throat) He's going to have other injuries besides his own to deal with. I don't think you'll be wanting to scare away any of his well wishers.

Luke: Let me take care of my own family, Barbara. (Bobbie shrugs)

Bobbie: Far be it for me to suggest anything, then. I'm sure you know what you're doing.

Standing by Lucky's side, Laura is vaguely aware to the discussion of her other son. She's not going to pursue it. Luke obviously upset him. This isn't the time to get into another argument about his antipathy towards her son, he isn't going to have anything new to say on the topic of Nikolas. What amazes her now, what seems to be much more worthy of investigation, is the fact that Lucky might just have something new to say about his brother.

General Hospital, roof.

Nikolas walks across the pavement on the hospital roof, ignoring the cold wind as he surrenders to absolute rage. It's not like Lucky hasn't done that to him before. No, any time he felt like he and Lucky connected, even for a MILLISECOND, the next time he saw him, whatever had happened appeared to be wiped from his brain. He should have expected it. He should have known it was coming. He SHOULD have been prepared. But he wasn't. Nikolas struggles over who he should be angrier at -- Lucky, for doing just what he always does -- or himself for expecting him to do anything else. Being angry at Lucky is familiar territory, however. This feeling isn't. This is worse.

Nikolas reaches the edge of the roof, and leans over the concrete barrier, looking down at the front of the hospital. Ambulances arriving at the ER entrance, cars pulling out of the parking lot.... There was always so much activity here. He always watches it with detached interest, never really considering too carefully what it means. What's going on with those people. Nikolas isn't particularly acquainted with being in the "bystander" position in hospitals. Not with people he knows. And he can't for the life of him put his finger on why Lucky's condition has him so upset. But it does. Even though he knows he'll be fine, it was incredibly unnerving to see him looking so differently than he normally did.

Nikolas lets his head fall. He'd looked so exposed, vulnerable. And he's let him help him. He'd been difficult about it, but that was Lucky. In a way, he knew more about what was going on with Lucky then anyone else in this hospital. And he'd let all of that get to him. He'd lowered his defenses, expected something new from him, and of course, once again, he'd lived to regret it. Lucky would never change. Nikolas was always going to be a low-class citizen to him. Good enough if no one else is around, but that's it. He grits his teeth against the bile rising in his throat. He feels used. Rejected. And incredibly hurt. Hurt like he didn't know Lucky had the power to hurt him. That's what's new.

Lucky had rejected Nikolas, repeatedly, from the first moment they'd met. He'd been immediately accusing, suspicious and defensive. And that had colored Nikolas's opinion of him permanently. No matter what else he saw, those things never changed. Quick to judge, shoot first, ask questions later. And his moods could turn on a dime. He was not like anyone Nikolas had encountered before he'd come to Port Charles, and he hadn't much cared for him, even before he knew exactly who and what he was. That had been a constant. Lucky, brother or not, was simply not someone he liked. People like that, they weren't his type. And he couldn't conceive, for the longest time, that there was anything in Lucky that was worth cutting through the layers of angst and animosity to get to.

The first time he'd had a clue was during that ridiculous hospital visit. Actually, it had been when he'd seen Lucky through the window. Ugh. Nikolas winces, recalling telling Lucky about that. When he'd seen him, for some reason, he had to know WHY he'd be there. To support Sarah? That hadn't made much sense to him. Afterward, when he'd really thought about his reasons for requesting Lucky's presence, he'd realized it had always been there. Buried, deep... but he wanted to be accepted by his brother. Just on principle. It didn't really have much to do with Lucky himself. It was all wrapped up in who he was, in the fact that his mother had gone out and created this whole family without him, And they hadn't opened their arms to him when he'd shown up -- they'd closed ranks. DETERMINED that he was not going to be one of them. Sharing the genes of Laura Spencer wasn't enough. No. You didn't count if you weren't Luke-approved. And he'd never stood a chance there.

Lucky was just like Laura, Nikolas thinks bitterly. When it comes right down to it, he'll always choose Luke.

Except....

Nikolas shakes his head. GOD. Why couldn't Lucky have been the kind of person who was READABLE once in a while. For someone so hotheaded and temperamental, how was it possible for his real emotions to be so hidden. Or maybe he just doesn't know how to read him. But there wasn't much room for interpretation in what had happened tonight. Lucky had been keeping a secret. A secret that had benefited HIS life and must, somehow, have taken something out of his. Just look at what was going on.... Working for the mob, defying his father. He thinks back to Lucky's total breakdown at the penthouse.... "you're not a lousy father, I'm a lousy son"... God. Did that have anything to do with the secret? Lucky HATED secrets. That had been part of his reason for hating him.

But that's where this feeling came from. From the secret. That's what it was that had changed tonight. That was what had pushed him from just wanting to be accepted by his brother, to wanting a relationship, a specific relationship. Wanting to find out who Lucky Spencer was, whether he was blood or not. That shift had happened in the parking lot that night, before he'd even had time to realize it. Suddenly, he wanted to help him, take care of him, make sure he was Ok. All the things he imagined a brother was supposed to do. It was such a dramatic shift, because it wasn't just about being allowed to be a brother, it was about being allowed to be a brother to Lucky.

How stupid and naive was that? Pathetic. Nikolas pushes away from the barrier, angrily.

He'd fallen for it, and hard. He would have done almost anything for him tonight. It was that same feeling he'd had when Lucky had freaked out at him because he said he didn't' want him to die. He'd seen the pain and turmoil, and he'd wanted to help. So maybe it wasn't so dramatic. Just safer, now that he knew what he knew. Lucky Spencer had a soul.

Nikolas feels a twinge, again, and curses himself for it. It's going to be so easy to fall into that again. He feels just as exposed and vulnerable as Lucky had looked. Like Lucky now has a piece of him, whether he knows it or not, and can command things of him. Like that promise. Nikolas freezes. The promise about Emily. He'd almost forgotten. How exactly is he supposed to keep that from Lucky now?

He isn't. To hell with him. If Lucky wants to be a jerk, that's his prerogative. Nikolas was going to prove something to him tonight. He was going to do the last thing LUKE was going to be able to. He was going to keep HIS promise, if only out of spite. He turns, suddenly energized, and heads towards the stairs.

ER, Waiting Area

Hannah stands in front of Monica, deciding very quickly that she doesn't much care for Emily's mother. She decides this isn't a good time to make a new enemy however, and extends her hand.

Hannah: I'm sorry. I think we were meant to meet under different circumstances. (Monica looks at Hannah's hand like it's a foreign object. She turns to AJ)

Monica: How long have you known about this?

AJ: Just since last night. I promised --

Monica: Let me guess. You promised Emily you wouldn't say anything.

AJ: I promised to give her time. I specifically said that something could come up. (He sighs heavily) I never thought it would be this. (Hannah looks at AJ, once again unsure of how to take this guy. She'd been mildly surprised Lucky hadn't smacked him the night before -- though it looks like someone got to him. She suppresses a smile. That's not a way to make friends and influence people, she tells herself. She turns back to Monica).

Hannah: I... I thought Emily knew best how to handle everything.

Ed: I just bet you did! I remember all about you. You're that good-for-nothing sister we looked for when Emily's mother lay dying under our roof.

Monica: (mildly) Edward.

Ed: And now you're back! No doubt, you heard your niece was taken in by a rich family, and you want your part of the action.

Hannah: (incredulous) Excuse me? (She looks around for someone normal. No Nikolas, no Luke... nothing. She turns back to Edward). I didn't know that Emily was --

Monica: (explosion of words held in too long) I'm sorry. I have to ask just what you're doing here.

Hannah: I... I'm Emily's aunt.

Monica: Who she hasn't seen for years!

Hannah: That's.... That's between me and Emily.

Monica: I'm Emily's MOTHER.

Hannah: I'm not trying to --

Ed: Let me tell you a thing or two, Missy. Emily is a Quartermaine now. She doesn't need faces from her past showing up and getting her all confused.

Hannah: She doesn't seem very confused to me.

Monica: You'll have to excuse us if we don't take your opinions of our daughter very seriously. (Hannah stares at Monica. Who ARE these people? Ok, granted, this is a surprise, but she hadn't expected this full-body push to get her away from Emily)

Hannah: (muttering) No wonder she wanted to keep this a secret.

Monica: Excuse me? And just how long have you --

Hannah: Look. If you people don't want to deal with me, that's fine. But I am Emily's family. I was there the day she was born, and you can't change that. And I'm not going anywhere until I know she's going to be Ok.

AJ: Mom, Grandfather....

Monica: AJ, what did Emily say to you about this?

AJ: Mom

Monica: Answer me.

AJ: She was angry. She didn't say much.

Ed: And how did you find out about this accident, may I ask? Who called you? Lucky?

Hannah: Not that you'd notice, but Lucky is in no condition to do much of anything right now.

Monica: Is he hurt? (Hannah turns to Monica, feeling like she finally recognizes a behavior in this woman. She's cut off, however.)

Ed: But you know him, don't you? That's it! You avoided her real family, but you made sure you got in with that corrupt little -- (Hannah turns away)

Hannah: Oh my God. This is making so much more sense to me. (She puts a hand to her forehead)

AJ: What's that supposed to mean?

Hannah: (to Monica) Since you asked, YES, Lucky is hurt. He was hit by the same car that hit her. That's why his parents are here!

Ed: SEE! I told you! This is all his fault.

Hannah: WHAT?

Ed: I knew it. I knew that boy was going to get her hurt.

AJ: I know, Grandfather, but --

Hannah: Lucky blames himself enough as it is. (She looks down the hallway again, praying to catch a glimpse of Nikolas, or at least someone she recognizes who could save her from this.)

Ed: Are you defending him? (Hannah sighs)

Hannah: I'm defending Emily!

Ed: And what would you know about it?

Monica: I have to say, I want to hear the answer to that question myself.

Hannah: All I'm saying is --

Ed: I don't care what you have to say! You don't know one thing about this family and how we operate. You have no idea what that little girl means to all of us. Do you have any idea what it is you walked away from? No. There was no one to help Emily when her mother died. No one but us. But Monica. And yes, we took her in, we put a roof over her head and gave her everything we could. But more importantly, we LOVED her. We loved her in a way you couldn't possibly imagine. Not if you were able to desert her like that. (Hannah stares at him, unable to answer back. How can she explain herself to these people. Why SHOULD she? She turns away).

Hannah: Whatever you think of me, I'm here now. And I'm not leaving until I see my niece. (Monica, feeling more than a little threatened by this woman, opens her mouth to protest, but stops when she sees a weary Alan approaching)

Monica: ALAN! How is she?

Alan: (flatly) I couldn't watch.

Ed: Watch what?

Alan: They think she has a cerebral contusion. They just need to determine how serious it is. They're also concerned about damage to the vertebrae --

Ed: ENGLISH, please.

Hannah: They're worried she has brain damage. And a spinal injury. That's what they're testing for.

Ed: You KNEW this?

Hannah: I was here.

Ed: WHY didn't you TELL us?

Hannah: WHEN?

Alan: Please.... Please, no more. Not now. (He sinks into a chair, Monica quickly sitting beside him and taking his hand) She looked so small. She's so young, Monica... and Lord. Lord, don't make me do this again. Not with Emily.

Monica: It won't be the same.

Hannah: (almost under her breath) Again?

Monica: It's not like Jason. Her.... (she looks at Hannah) I think you'd better tell us exactly what the doctor said. (Hannah looks at each of them, and sees that they've all fallen into silence, staring at her in rapt attention.)

Hannah: All right... I'll try.